Feeling guilty when having been strict

It's not clear from your post whether you babysit the three children all at the same time, but if you do then I admire your stamina! I think it depends on the age of the child. By the time my GC got to about 5 or 6 they understood that Nanny was a human being just like them and sometimes got a bit fed up and cross if they pushed the boundaries or were deliberately defiant. I always made sure that they knew I loved them and always would even if they were a bit naughty at times and now at 9 and 13 we have a good, loving relationship.

Children of 2 or 3 are still egocentric and have not yet developed a sense of accommodating other people's feelings or opinions so to them it would be more hurtful/frightening to be shouted at. From memory, the only time I have shouted at a very young child is in panic when they have put themselves in a dangerous position, e.g. running away towards the road or trying to jam a pencil in an electric socket (at a play-group I attended when my AC were small ).

‘Been’ not ‘Ben’

This is so interesting! I also have several pre-schoolers to look after (not all the time) and as they grow and push boundaries I have done my share of shouting. I never let it stew though - the issue is dealt with and over and then laughs and hugs begin again, as keepingquiet says.

Exactly like Gran22boys
My 3 kids occasionally remind me of it, but I hope they understand.
They have young kids of their own - one son and d.I.l. do not smack but the other d.I.l. and my daughter have Ben known to smack.
Spare the rod and spoil the child ……

I was scolded and smacked as a child so I smacked mine thinking that was normal. I always loved my parents and I think my children love me. You’d have to be a saint not to lose your rag with such young children.

Thank you so much for this one: “Love isn't compromised by Granny going off the rails occasionally. My gran was always telling me off but I always loved her.” My new mantra !! And certainly lots of practice opportunities.

My perspective is I probably wouldn't be able to care for three under fives without losing it either. You are doing a fantastic thing and deserve a huge pat on the back for your forebearance. Love isn't compromised by Granny going off the rails occasionally. My gran was always telling me off but I always loved her.
Make a joke of it, make them smile and they'll love you even more. Learning to diffuse the situation is a skill you can practice often!