Am I being umreasonable?

What Yorklady says. I preferred to bring them to my house. I liked to prepare the food in my kitchen. Very often , my daughter used to do sone shopping, but tbh it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t mind doing that, but used to smile when little granddaughter preferred her other Nan’s cooking. I would say, well D , when you’re in Nan’s house, you must eat what Nancooks for you 😂 - to be fair, her Gran is an excellent cook, especially her cakes…..

Welkbeck you are completely right. Everything is completely to suit them. They are very self focused. I am really just looking for some ideas how I can nudge it around a bit.

Yorklady well I guess I could but it just makes mess in my house. I do have some health issues which make me tired and a bit slow. What I am looking for is one or two spontaneous visits. Have my grandchildren in my home

Don't allow yourself to be taken for granted.
Seems like they view you as staff to provide a service.
So they won't drop in on you if there's no advantage to them in doing so.
I've seen this so many times.
Are you paying for the groceries too.
Just get a t shirt with a doormat logo.

Could you not collect the children from school but go to your home to cook and all eat together there ?