I have a dilemma and it’s causing me sleepless nights. My DH and I have our 2 respective grown up families. Most of the time everything is fine. He has 3 children with families, I have 2 children, one with a family. Problem is this year’s Christmas plans. He has one son and family abroad, 2 others here. In the summer, the whole of July is taken up with DH’s family - the son abroad coming back to U.K. and usually visiting and staying with us for a week. Their birthdays are all that month, and what with meeting up with the others and general coming and goings, the whole of July is a bit of a hubbub. That is ok, I’m used to it now, and in a way I mentally set that month aside for all that activity (but I’m relieved when it is over!). I don’t see my DD and DS that often, they live a fair distance away, and both have busy jobs and lives.
Usually we see my DD at Christmas itself, she and her husband come for a couple of nights, or we may go to them for a couple of nights., but this year they are doing something different. We usually see my DS also very briefly, but we have never spent Christmas with him as he always, when he was married, was with his family and wife’s family or more recently with a girlfriend but as it happens this year will be alone. At Christmas, DH’s abroad son always comes back to UK and has always in the past spent most of the time at his parents- in-law. We usually see DH’s other sons only briefly over the Christmas period as they tend to be tied up with their in-laws. My problem is this year, the abroad son has said they are coming to spend Christmas with us for a week.
I desperately want to spend some time with my children and grandchildren (I’d be happy with just a couple of days). I don’t object to DH’s abroad son and family staying with us, but a week is a long time at that time of year, I already feel monopolised. Of course my DH is thrilled, and is already organising a big family party with all his sons and wives etc and his sister and her partner. DH wouldn’t mind if my 2 + partners wanted to come along too, but they wouldn’t want to, even though they all get on ok. And anyway our house isn’t big enough. I want so much to see my children at that time, and feel I am going to be swamped by all DH’s family. DH and I are talking about it, and I don’t want to spoil DH’s enjoyment, but I alternately feel I am being a bit mean but I am, in truth, becoming resentful. Not sure what to do about it all. Can’t sleep.
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