The DDs loved Revolting Rhymes what child didn't? Subversive, feminist, anti-grown-up and deliciously revolting
I can still hear DD2 looking as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, reciting Little Red Riding Hood
Then Little Red Riding Hood said, ``But Grandma
what a lovely great big furry coat you have on''
That's wrong!'' cried Wolf. ``Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?
Ah well, no matter what you say
I'm going to eat you anyway''
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers
She whips a pistol from her knickers
She aims it at the creature's head
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood
I came across Miss Riding Hood
But what a change! No cloak of red
No silly hood upon her head
She said, ``Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat
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Welcome to the *Gransnet Café. This is a non-judgemental space for you to pop in for a cuppa with some virtual friends, seek out advice for a particular problem, or share an update on your life - important or trivial. Feel free to have your say and chat about your day, but please leave any arguments at the door. If you're struggling to find someone to talk to in real life, or are simply looking for a bit of a chat, this is the place for you.
Lovely to have you back with us soop, and you too NanKate. I'm getting a bit worried about all these legs of lamb flying about. Not about who's wielding them on whom but which tv crime programme it was which featured murder by said same implement. I'm sure it was a policeman's wife what done it and that she served up the evidence in a meal for the deceased's colleagues when they came round to express condolences, but ... like I said I can't remember the series and it's niggling me 
.....I don't buy frozen leg of lamb any more, the temptation would be too great! 
Welcome back soop & NanKate (hello from me) & greetings to one & all who have made it to the sanctuary Kitchen today, the kettle's just boiled & there's a case bottle or two of wine on the side. The hard stuff is kept elsewhere.
Have enjoyed scarecrows, cartoons, reminiscing about toys, sartorial slip-ups (does having to walk from bus to home clutching my side like I'd been shot due to malfunction of elastic on highly gathered summer skirt count?) sage words & kind thoughts.
We are the voice of friendship and reason. Hurrah!!
Charleygirl 
!!
kittylester I think we can creep out now, we have soop back to defend us with her teapot 
soop apparently, suggesting that someone is too young to remember certain events in the dim and distant past (because the poster said she couldn't remember them well ) is patronising. LOL. There was me thinking it was a compliment.
DH is twittering that Springwatch is on and I'm missing it. There was me thinking it was summer already.
comes with my great age.
I should have said how lovely to see you back. But you know that we all miss you and rely on you to be around to have a kind word for us! 
Loved the cartoon Maw !!
I told Jackson your SiL has a Maserati ....... he asked me if I had a SIL with one ? And if not why not? I had to tell him it was his Dads fault !
Yes I'm sad to say he is an idiot soop , hard to believe a smart woman like myself would marry a complete muppet !! But there you go !! We have had words and all is now well ( because he did as I asked) but really?? I do sometimes wonder what happened to the sense he was born with !!
Grey I read a book , if you kill mine and I kill yours we stand a chance of getting away with it ...... ???
Meant to say, 'Hi, kate' - hope you are feeling loads better. 
This is for Sam
I have come here to hide in the cupboard too. I've ventured onto the politics threads and it's quite scary!! 
Looking like a batty old woman is my permanent look at the moment Maw as I've got new glasses which are lopsided (Ok, my ears are lopsided!) I keep going back to the opticians, the lovely girl there sorts them out and about 3 days later they have reverted back (memory foam glasses!!) I'm sure she thinks I've got a crush on the optician and bend them back on purpose so I can visit again!
ann on the CrISP courses run by the Alzheimer's Society they recommend someone in authority (GP, nurse etc)tells the person with dementia something like 'Your poor wife isn't doing so well, I think she could do with some help.' Apparently this works well as the person often thinks they are much younger and will do what is suggested out of respect for the authority figure. Might be worth a try. And, the person with dementia often becomes attached to the befriender and looks forward to their visits. Do you have an Alzheimer's Society worker assigned to you. I keep saying it but they are fabulous and totally non-judgmental.
Now, is there room for a small one larger person in that cupboard until the politicians have sorted themselves out?
PS Grampy an idiot. No way! 
Greyduster Too much choice isn't always a good thing. I know the feeling well. The Winter Gardens ooze tranquillity.
As I said earlier, I'm not going to visit the care home tomorrow. I shall log on to the computer (hmm] and read as many missed messages as I can. Until then, a big (((group hug))) and 
Welcome back soop , we've missed you !!
Well done oldgoat a well deserved win! I do love a bit of humour !
Your words made me smile Corner ' a triumph of hope over experience ' !! That's exactly it !
Maw if it makes you feel better , I once wore a summer top to work inside out and stood up in front of 300 colleagues to give a presentation! I comfort myself that because no one said anything they didn't notice ( fat chance!)
Jalima I have come to the conclusion the political threads are peopled by aliens . Surely no one in real life could be so mean forthright !
Hello Nankate , always room here for another one ! Sam needs a cuddle if you're free , Cooper has purchased a cuddly toy that looks like Sam in miniature and his nose is properly out of joint!
The 'dog whisperer' has been contacted and we are arranging a visit soon to discuss what we can do for Sam . I shall keep you posted.
I am cross with Grampy because he is an idiot !! Enough said ! Now I must put out for a frozen leg of lamb
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