my kids and grandchildren are an 9 hour flight away

A dedicated support group/forum for long distance grandparents would be a great idea. It is comforting to know others face the same challenges and admire your stoicism.and necessary acceptance but it is so hard especially when friends have families round the corner and complain about too..much babysitting! My daughter and family live in Singapore and about to transfer to Thailand for 5 more years. I try to visit every year but my 86 yearnold husband cant make the journey any more.We were all going to.meet in Europe this summer and so.looking forward tomorrow but if course it got cancelled and with travel restrictions dont know when will next see them on skype and what's app we have little catch ups but the attention span is limited and as they grew they develop their own lives and interests. It's hard not to be despondent especially as one gets older so understanding and support from you all is so valuable. Thank.you

It's very hard, and gets harder as we get older.
One son and family lives in SE India, the other has just moved to Thailand from Kuwait, where they had lived since 1995.
His children are now in a UK boarding school so much closer. But they're nearly adult now.
I've visited both sons in the past, but the journeys etc (visas!) are too much for me now.They both come back to the UK often so we make the best of it.
It's their life and as it has been said on here before "We taught them to fly".
2 daughters firmly rooted in England, but they're so busy don't see much more of them.

Until this month, I lived with my daughter and grandson. I've been with him every day of his life. I was there for his birth and at times have been a 2nd mother to him (mum was ill when he was a baby so I did most of the care).

Now, I've had to move overseas for work (won't bother with the whys and wherefores) and I'm miserable without my boy. I'm used to not being with my daughter, because until she had GS she lived independently, but my grandson was/is the joy of my life and I hate not being with him.

It is so hard. We Facetime, but he cries at the end, and then when we disconnect, so do I. I miss him so much.

Necessity is s**t.

My daughter and husband live just outside Sydney. They do not intend to come back to the UK to live. When they were back packing years ago they loved it there and had every intention to return to live. We see them once a year when they come across for a holiday and we FaceTime often and use the watts app. It is very difficult but we manage as there is nothing to do but accept it, however hard that is. We have another daughter locally which makes life easier to bear but we all miss our daughter in Sydney. My younger daughter said she feels like she’s lost her sister. If they were in Europe it would be easier but that long flight is a nightmare as we know from experience.

We left UK in 1975 to live in the southern hemisphere taking our 3 year old who was at that time the only grandchild. We kept in touch by letter{!} those were the days. Moved from SA to Oz, then to Belgium and latterly to France. Meanwhile our DS left Oz and moved back to UK, marrying a local girl. Last September after 44 years, we decided enough was enough and moved back to England. Not an easy choice and believe me, it has taken a great deal of adjustment. Things have changed and then some! But we have looked upon this as a challenge, in accordance with our previous moves to various countries. Like Esther1, the pull of family has been too strong to ignore.

There is hope - my children emigrated and are Australian citizens, both married and 2 babies were born out there. But they have returned - for good. The pull of family and home drew them all back. Love to all long distance Gransnetters- believe me, I have been where you are.

My DD is definitely very settled in Australia but my son on his visit back here in Sept. said he now realises how much more there is to UK to appreciate. When he emigrated, all he was thinking about was sun, surf and women he says, but now he’s missing countryside, culture, birdsong, villages, village pubs so maybe one day....!??

One of my two boys in Australia is married to an Aussie( met in UK) and he has applied for citizenship, DGD has a dual passport.They have a house and of course DiLs family are there... so I don’t think they’ll be returning . I’m getting more philosophical about that particular situation, but I really, really hope that the other DS
Doesn’t decide to stay . I had lovely news yesterday , that DS will be bringing DGD back for a 2 week visit in April !

No it isn’t Juliet.
I’ll be able to give my DD a real hug in a couple of weeks.
Maybe not a kiss though, we may be wearing face masks!??
I lived on the other side of the world when I was growing up.
No FaceTime then and if you needed to phone home you had to book it, if there was a crisis it wasn’t easy.
There are, of course, difficulties when you visit. Luckily we like our Sin L , he is very laid back and pleasant but staying in anyone’s house for a quite length of time can be tricky.

Both my children live in Australia. My daughter and husband went there when my first grandchild was 4 months old - he is now 12 and his brother is 9. The family will be coming to UK for a holiday for the first time in those 12 years in September.
My son has been in Australia for 8 years, has married an Australian and they have a 21 month old son and they holidayed here last September. We fly out most years but I’m not so keen on spending time in Australia now and the empty nest syndrome does ease. We do spend time each week on FaceTime but of course it’s not quite the same as hugging!!

My younger son has been away for 14 years now.
He has citizenship and won't ever come back; can't even afford to visit, though possibly his 3 children might back pack to the UK eventually.
I do try to Facetime with them regularly, but especially during their summer time they don't bother answering very often, which makes it harder not to grieve.
Oddly I do speak to them more often than to my other son and family in the same County.
I did raise my boys to be independent, though I rather wish I hadn't now.

Mopsx4 that sounds great! We are not in a position to go for months at a time but I know people who do.

They want to see her family too when here, and all their friends and siblings. We are meeting them in France so they can be on holiday and not traipse round all the rellies but invite the others on holiday with us.

I too have 3 Dgc in NZ. I am there at the moment - we come for about 3 months at a time ( one year nz forChristmas next uk for Christmas)every year and rent a house near them. It is a great bonding time and in between we skype and use WhatsApp. They too are now NZ citizens and don’t think they will come back to uk. We are lucky to be able to do this as my husband works remotely even in uk - time difference does mean he is up late into the night sometimes.
My other 2 Dgs live a good 4 hour drive( on a good trip) away from us. I am lucky that I can mind them in school holidays and also see them in between as well. I have a very close relationship with them.
The cousins are all excited as the NZ grandchildren are coming over to uk in July - the first time for 3 years.

Curvygran, it is hard but you just have to keep speaking and do it regularly so you both look forward to that video call.
Because of the time difference we usually choose Friday night, their Saturday morning, when we are all most relaxed.

Plan your next meeting whether here or there.
We are meeting in France in the Summer.

When DS and DDiL first told us they were going, they comforted us by saying that it might not be forever....
Then they found jobs, made friends, bought a house, had a baby and became NZ citizens so I am not expecting them back any time soon.


Today as I was driving through the snowy Scottish landscape, (on the bus) I was sent a photo of DGC on the beach with a beaming smile! It made my day.

Maybe a dedicated forum would be useful. Certainly advice as to how best to send parcels or books or toys so they don't cost a fortune.

I’ve got one down the road and one in Sydney. Luckily? the Aussie one hasn’t got children. I think it would have been much harder for me if she had.
So far I have seen my DD every year but I dread the time when , like Ellen I won’t be able to go.
What really irritates me is the people who say- oh lucky you, you can have lovely holidays. I’d rather she was close enough to see for short periods. I’m sure her DH does too!

Last time but one it was 42 hours door to door!
This time we had a short time between connecting flights but that did put me in a bit of a panic, rushing from one terminal to another.
We do wonder how much longer we will be able to make the trip.

You do feel torn in two, but we are very lucky to have family here too not far away.

You accept the distance between you but you never really get used to it, at least I haven't in all the years they've been gone but at least the GC know me as I was there when they were toddlers.
I have one D, SiL and 3 AGC in Sydney. I've been a few times in the past but wont even try to make another trip there now. What I will miss will be GGC should any of them produce any.
Other members of the family will very likely pay a visit in the not too distant future.

It was my Australian grand daughters 2nd birthday today, we had a birthday video wake up call ( thanks to the time difference) early this morning . DH and I went to our favourite pub for lunch , to celebrate our 2 years of being grandparents! ( as well as raising a glass to darling far away GD )

Grammaretto, I can’t tell you how comforting it is to hear from you (and others in the same boat ), thank you for posting . Is there a group/ forum on GN that all of us very long distance grans could join? I feel there is a need for one .

We live in Canada; Hubby's family are all in the UK. We have seen them twice in the almost 10 years we've been married.

Hubby has regular contact with them by phone and occasional video chat. Our daughter knows her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Yep NZ for me and 31 hours last time door to door I m going into mid 70 s now and probably won’t make any more trips it’s a tough tough never ending journey
I have one in Europe not so bad and one locally
I don’t blame any of them they need to make their own lives we are all in touch at least once a week I m used to it
I put up and shut up at the time and got on with life and I m fully accepting as long as they re happy

|Could you not go to live nearer to them? Upheaval is difficult but is it possible?

I also use WhatsApp to keep in touch. I do feel sad sometimes when I know my son is so far away. He is in the USA but it takes us 16 hours. We have visited once only.

After nearly six years he has a business and a home there now and an American passport - I don't think he'll ever come back.

We have one DS (and DGC) in NZ so that is at least 30hours away, usually longer. Luckily we have others in the UK.
Almost everyone I know has DC and DGC who have emigrated.
One friend has 2DD in Australia and a DS in USA. (4 DGC)
We wring our hands and say "what have we done to deserve this" then we remember what a joy it is when we do meet and they all try hard to come home when they can and we make the long journey occasionally. They are very happy with their lives. We encouraged them to be ambitious, independent and to travel.
Meanwhile we facetime, WhatsApp and send letters and parcels and think about them a great deal. Join the club!
I'm counting the days...

@curvygran950 "I brought the boys up to be independent , spread their wings and follow their hearts! But it’s hard ... "

I know just how you feel as one son is in Vancouver with a young child and now a Canadian citizen, and his younger brother is in Perth, WA with his wife and young family. So no idea when we'll see them all again so we depend on Skype or Duo and short videos that we are sent of the grandchildren.