Golden Wedding Party - would it be reasonable ------

cossybabe

We are planning our Golden Wedding anniversary party - we are hiring a Pullman coach on our local steam railway with a buffet. About 35 people will be coming.
There will be a private bar - we would pay for the first drinks and for the champagne to toast with.
Would it be reasonable to ask people to pay for any other drinks?

As long as everyone knows that there will be a cash bar that's fine! We had one for our DD's wedding and it was fine

If you are providing a substantial buffet and have coffee & tea flowing, I doubt many would want a drink apart from the two supplied, however, I would not want my guest to pay specially not for that small number of people. I doubt your bar bill would come to more than £ 150, which on top of what you are providing appears to be peanuts. Personally I would have a re-think. Just my opinion and see others think otherwise.

There was a free bar at my DD's wedding. One of the young male guests drastically over-consumed. He projectile vomited all over the gents. $250A was added to their bill for the cleaning!

What a lovely idea and yes, you paying for the first drink is fine. Any guests should not expect you to pay for any more.

What a fantastic idea, it sounds great.
We would have no problems paying for our drinks.

It’s your party - you pay.
Not sure how safe I’d feel tho’ with all those on a train. It’s not safe.

Absolutely! It's your celebration. So why would you treat everyone else? I never understood why the birthday girl had to buy the whole office cakes!? Luckily my birthday end of MAY so always was either bank holiday or a weekend! Real friends and fam will expect to pay their way on the booze front.

perfectly reasonable to ask guests to pay for their own drinks after the toast and any wines that accompany food. It means that anyone who does not drink feels ok and anyone who may see the party as an opportunity to do a bit of freeloading isn't getting that chance.

Ask Boris - he knows all about parties!

Congratulations and enjoy your special event. x

Yes I agree with others, pay for the first and let people buy their own from therein. I would be pleased to be invited and really chuffed to be bought the first drink.I do agree though that you put on the invitation, 'First celebratory drink on us, thereafter a bar for you to purchase whatever you like'

I think that problems tend to arise when people are using a free bar because they order spirits or expensive drinks. We had a party for our 40th and arranged lunch in a local restaurant with drinks provided. There was champagne to start before the meal and wine at the tables but no ordering their own drinks. This kept the cost to a reasonable level, as did the fact that the meal had a set finishing time rather than going on all afternoon.
Of course you also need to know that the restaurant is trustworthy and won't charge you for bottles that have not been used.

I think this is a lovely idea, as long as you let everyone know. Our Golden Anniversary is also in October but hopefully we will be on Safari in Kenya, don’t really do parties.

Goodness me! ?

cossybabe
Congratulations ...what a lovely idea.

Peasblossom
At a church service just before Christmas they had a 'quiet' collection so minimum £5 and someone with a card machine at the door ?

Sounds like a great way to celebrate. I assume that your guests will need to drive to the venue in which case I doubt whether they will actually drink much alcohol. However soft drinks are often just as expensive as alcoholic ones so you might want to factor that in.

P, unlike you, I would have managed to pass the plate on without a contribution. No, not with joy but a kind of 'drat' feeling.

How lovely cossybabe - whatever you plan to do, I hope you have a great time. And congratulations ? ? ? ? xx

Esspee

I hope the celebration is well in the future, once the pandemic fizzles out, as most people I know are avoiding indoor functions.

The date is in October, naturally, we have taken out insurance that does cover Covis related issues.

Thank you everyone for your input - I really do appreciate it - just hope I don't murder him before the event - would be a shame to miss out on a party :-)

Kim19

Can't imagine ever going out without immediate access to personal finance.

I once got badly caught out at a Christening. I hadn’t occurred to me they’d pass the collection plate round in Church.

I’d just taken a £20 note for emergencies. Too embarrassed to pass the plate on, so I had to put it in?

Letting people know just makes it clear and avoids things like someone going up to get drinks for a group and not realising it has to be paid for.

Yes its OK. Put it on the invitation (in fairly small print).

Sounds absolutely lovely ?
I'd just say tell people exactly what's included and that there will be a pay bar after that. No problem as long as people know.
Have a wonderful day! ??

Can't imagine ever going out without immediate access to personal finance.

It is common to do this. But please let people know so they bring some money/credit card with them?

Esspee &Hetty
Can we please leave the gloom and doom out of this joyous thread. Whatever you do Cossybabe enjoy ??

Aw that’s lovely happy anniversary yes people wouldn’t expect more than this. Have a lovely day.