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Welcome to the *Gransnet Café. This is a non-judgemental space for you to pop in for a cuppa with some virtual friends, seek out advice for a particular problem, or share an update on your life - important or trivial. Feel free to have your say and chat about your day, but please leave any arguments at the door. If you're struggling to find someone to talk to in real life, or are simply looking for a bit of a chat, this is the place for you.

Is it the start of dementia?

(31 Posts)
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kittylester Wed 14-Sept-22 20:53:56

soda, the gp should listen to the wife if she has concerns and investigate those concerns next time he sees the husband

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Harris27 Wed 14-Sept-22 20:53:56

We went about our mum and they said she had to realise she had it and had to come herself. First of many battles with drs.

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HowVeryDareYou Wed 14-Sept-22 20:45:45

The lady can ask to speak to her husband's GP, and ask for an urgent assessment to be made (it can take a long time to get an MRI scan, which is generally the way a proper diagnosis of dementia is made).

In the meantime, it is probably best if the gentleman concerned isn't allowed access to a lot of money, and perhaps isn't allowed to drive, if he's so forgetful.

My brother's wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (MRI scan after months of waiting), after she exhibited a lot of strange behaviour - accusing him of stealing her money/bank card/jewellery, also saying that her text messages were being sent via someone else's mobile, and that the neighbours were talking about her.

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sodapop Wed 14-Sept-22 20:44:30

I don't think we should be attempting diagnoses on here. It's unlikely the GP will talk to the wife without her husband. There are support groups who have experience of these situations and could offer advice. Admiral Nurses may be able to help as well. It's a very difficult situation to be in, I sympathise .

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Urmstongran Wed 14-Sept-22 20:34:43

Has he always been such a curmudgeon? Maybe he’s just himself (as always) just more irascible with aches & pains? Or is this bad temper out of character?

It’s difficult to surmise without knowing more really.

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ExDancer Wed 14-Sept-22 20:22:21

How do you proceed if your husband shows signs of dementia? He's just spent 2 hrs on the phone to 'Microsoft' and given them details of their bank account, for instance?
(There was only £400 in it - which they can't afford to loose) - as they'd just paid a big bill) and she rang the bank who cancelled their cards and prevented anyone accessing the account. They, the bank, did say an attempt had been made but the scammers had made them suspicious because they'd tried to transfer the whole amount down to the last penny.
Husband refuses to talk about it and blames the wife for interfering, as their cards are useless until the new ones are sent.
He's already done other strange things like buying things from Amazon and forgetting about them, he bought 3 identical pairs of walking boots, and recently refused to go on a holiday on the morning of the flight.
He won't see the doctor about anything, for example his knee keeps collapsing so he almost falls, he won't get his eyes tested incase its cataracts, he sits on the loo talking to himself, leaves taps running - various examples of odd and worrying behaviour.
Could she speak to his GP about her worries without the GP letting him know? She's terrified he might find out she's gone behind his back and consulted the surgery because he gets frighteningly angry - not physically, but can say some vile things when riled.
Where does she go for help?

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