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Cat / Neighbour Dilemma… šŸˆā€ā¬›

(59 Posts)
FannyCornforth Fri 03-Mar-23 05:56:14

Hello smile

Just venting /moaning I suppose.

One (well, it could be both) of my neighbour’s cats keeps coming into the house at night.

Let’s call him Muppet, it’s not his real name, but that’s what I call him.

Anyway, Muppet eats Rosie’s biscuits (she only eats at night, so I leave a dish out for her) and sleeps in the living room.
He runs out when I go downstairs.

The cat flap that we have is a magnetic one, so if only works for Gracie (ddog) and Rosie (dcat).

But that’s when it’s not broken, however it has been broken for a while now, probably because of Gracie’s robustness in going in and out.

Muppet’s activities really get on Gracie’s nerves, but she’s a wuss and he pays no heed to her (following an unfortunate incident behind the shed).

I feel really sorry for Muppet as our neighbour really isn’t a good cat mum.
He’s often locked out of the house in the cold.
You can regularly hear him crying to go into his house.
When we had a load of snow a couple of years back, he was crying in the snow sad
She often shouts at him and kicks him out of the house when she goes to work.

We’ve got a little shelter in the garden which MrC has encouraged him to use.

But the thing is: I’ve noticed that Gracie hasn’t been herself for a few days, and yesterday I realised what the reason could be.
We’ve got a few foxes in the field at the bottom of the garden, and I think that she is worried that they will be able to come into the house too.

She is extremely, massively territorial and hyper vigilant and very protective of me.

I’ve realised that I’m going to have fit a new cat flap so that Muppet can’t come in, but I feel so sorry for him.

Am I being a horrible cruel woman, or am I being a total wuss?

(Sorry that this is a bit rambling, I’ve just had my painkillers!)

FannyCornforth Fri 03-Mar-23 12:05:14

I totally agree BlueBelle
Rosie had to go to a Cattery in the. Autumn (there was no other option) and I really worried about her mental health. She was sooo affectionate when she came home 😊

BlueBelle Fri 03-Mar-23 11:58:52

I don’t like the idea of indoor cats at all so not with USA on that one I hate the way they often declaw them over there too I hope they don’t here never heard of it being a thing but who knows
I think cats need to be able to be free and I see it as cruel to go against their natural personalities and as for garden cages think that’s awful they are prisoners and it must be purgatory to see other cats birds etc all being free

GagaJo Fri 03-Mar-23 11:57:55

My granny had a tiered homing system. There was the house cat. Then there'd be one in the shed. One lived in the outhouse and there were random others who she fed and who would sleep on the bench outside the outhouse.

When one moved on, they'd all move up a level. So from shed to house. From outhouse to shed, etc.

We scattered her in her garden, where the cats would sit and watch the birds.

FannyCornforth Fri 03-Mar-23 11:52:43

Thanks LadyH, that’s interesting. Fortunately I know for a fact that Rosie doesn’t have a predatory bone in her body.
She is a big hippy. Very zen

AGAA4 Fri 03-Mar-23 11:40:16

My soft hearted neighbour ended up with a cat sanctuary by giving an outside home to a stray cat in his outhouse. His own feisty cat wouldn't let the stray in the house.
It must have gone on the cat grapevine and he attracted lots of strays. He fed and cared for them all much to the disgust of Chrissy his own cat.

ExDancer Fri 03-Mar-23 11:37:13

I understand most pet cats are 100% indoors in the States, but they do have more cat-predators over there, whereas we only really have foxes (and traffic). I live totally rurally but have had visits from strays during the night, usually entire toms marking their stolen territory (MY kitchen) and would love a magnetic flap but my cats (semi feral) won't tolerate collars.

LadyHonoriaDedlock Fri 03-Mar-23 11:30:19

FannyCornforth

Anyway, insults aside, what’s wrong with my cat going outside at night?

The problem it seems is with bats. Cats love bats – they don't catch them to eat – there's no substance to a bat – but the way they move makes them a jumping and catching game. Also when caught they make ideal cat toys as they try to make a break for it. The cat doesn't have to actually kill the bat, even a tear to a bat's delicate wing stops it flying so that it can't eat and it will starve to death.

www.bats.org.uk/about-bats/threats-to-bats/cat-attacks

JaneJudge Fri 03-Mar-23 11:28:40

Gagajo, Rosie is the cat and Gracie is the dog smile

grin at Steptoe and Son van!

Kate1949 Fri 03-Mar-23 11:26:00

This one tried its luck grin I didn't let it in although I was tempted. It looked well cared for.

GagaJo Fri 03-Mar-23 11:24:11

Let Muppet keep coming in FC. Can you let Gracie have a room she's shut into at night with a tray? OR can you shut the door to the room the cat flap is in?

Poor old lad. My bloke's neighbour was like this with her cat. He had one chance to come in at night and if he didn't hear her, he was out all night whatever the weather. He was old too and eventually got cancer. At which point even my bloke took pity on him and would let him in and feed him.

Visgir1 Fri 03-Mar-23 11:19:59

FannyCornforth

Which chip activated one did you get Visgirl?
I’ve bought two in the past and had to return them as they were faulty (they wouldn’t save the chip information)
Thanks

Sure flap.. They advise at first leave battery out, until they know it. Then put the battery in as it "clicks".

My older Cat who passed away 4 years ago she used it fine, she was about 16 at the time, and my other cat is OK with it, she's used since she was a kitten.

My now younger cat is now 4, gorgeous but not the brightness, she will only use if I prop it open. Defeats the point!
But she hasn't a clue (hand reared kitten Vet said they miss out on kitten skills) so she has staff.

FannyCornforth Fri 03-Mar-23 11:17:47

I’ll share this here, as it’s as good a place as any.
A scrap collection van has just gone down the street - playing the theme from Steptoe & Son grin

FannyCornforth Fri 03-Mar-23 11:02:24

Thanks BlueBelle I was totally livid taken aback!
I had to be really careful - I could easily have got suspended!

BlueBelle Fri 03-Mar-23 10:57:55

All good advise and most agree, I don’t know why Hetty was so cross with you this morning seemed a bit unnecessary but anyway it seems as if it’s nearly all solved now

silverlining48 Fri 03-Mar-23 10:57:30

Years ago we moved house with our ( ex Feral and still nervous) cat only to find the sellers had moved without taking their big ginger 🐈.
Our cat refused to come downstairs so food and toilet trays were on the landing while the ginger cat stretched out happily in front of the fire downstairs. With us.
After a few weeks we had to ring the owner and we took her cat back. Our cat came downstairs. Cats eh?
I understand why you would feed muppet Fanny, I would probably do the same.

FannyCornforth Fri 03-Mar-23 10:48:53

Thank you all so much for your answers. I really do appreciate it.
(I’m sorry that I’m not mentioning you all by name)

Don’t worry about Rosie being distressed by Muppet, she really isn’t. It’s Gracie who is upset.

Muppet absolutely hero worships Rosie.
He was very (too?) young when he came to live here. He treated her like a surrogate mum. He followed her everywhere when he was a kitten, and lay down next to her to sleep.

That’s how the whole cat flap business started. I’d actually forgotten.
Even when the magnet system on the cat flap worked, Muppet could still get in.
He’d put his little nose under her enormous tail and just follow her in.
(A big like how I used to sneak through the ticket barrier on the Tube with my friend.)

Thank you for the recommendation of the digitised cat food dish. Interesting, but I’m not actually that bothered about him eating the food.

I definitely agree about the food outside/ rat thing. We used to feed the foxes (I’m being brave admitting that!) but only if they come right up to the fence.
I’d like to feed the resident hedgehogs but don’t because of the rat thing (we have mice under the shed too)

Shep I’d happily let him live here; I’d welcome him.
But he drives Gracie up the wall. She barks at him and charges around. He’s not really that bothered, but it means that he thinks he is unwelcome.
She doesn’t like cats at all, but in a really ineffectual way.
She’s actually quite scared of him.
If it wasn’t for Gracie it would br a non-issue.
So it’s a lose / lose situation really.

MrC has mentioned cat flaps to neighbour numerous times. She knows that he’d fit it too.
She knows that he comes in because a couple of years ago she gave us a bottle of wine for putting up with him (or should that be her?)

Which leads me to - neighbour has got a few issues, to say the least.
I often think that I ought to be more friendly with her (that’s not really the right word, we are friendly) what I mean is actual friends, but I know that it would open a total can of worms.
MrC wouldn’t let me do it tbh and I’d be mad to.

So I can’t really get involved any more than I already am šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø

Thanks again all smilethanks

JaneJudge Fri 03-Mar-23 10:07:36

I wouldn't feed any cat other than my own. I know you feel sorry for him but he isn't your cat. We get rats without putting anything out sad

henetha Fri 03-Mar-23 10:07:20

I've nothing expert to add, FC, just sympathy for your dilemma. As you know, I am a would-be cat owner (still haven't decided). I feel sorry for Muppet, but you are doing all you can
to help him. So I just want to say that I hope these problems are being resolved and that all the lovely animals will be happy, ...and you too. flowers

Callistemon21 Fri 03-Mar-23 10:06:05

I really wouldn't put food outside, it could attract rats or the foxes which are around.

JaneJudge Fri 03-Mar-23 10:02:03

I can understand your dilemma Fanny sad but hopefully it will be resolved by the fitting of a new cat flap. You don't sound irresponsible, a bit soft maybe grin but that isn't a crime!

I wondered if Gracie seems a bit unsettled as you have had an operation and have been managing your pain medication? Dogs are very tuned in to our anxieties

Sparklefizz Fri 03-Mar-23 09:58:06

LadyGracie I prefer animals to people.

Me too. Animals are sooo much nicer!

LadyGracie Fri 03-Mar-23 09:50:36

We had a Sureflap, chip activated, fitted in a d/g french door when we moved in 5 years ago. It was quite expensive at the time.
We’ve only changed the battery twice in that time so I highly recommend it.
I’m afraid that unless my cat has a medical issue meaning he has to stay in, he is free to come and go as he pleases.
He is a big boy who gets fed ā€˜on demand’. He always goes out last thing at night and is usually asleep in his bed in the morning.
He generally spends most of his time during the day in neighbours gardens, he is well liked but is not fed by anyone else.
I’m afraid I too would worry about Muppet and would encourage him to sleep in the shelter you’ve provided, poor little thing.
I prefer animals to people.

Wyllow3 Fri 03-Mar-23 09:40:41

Yes, new cat flap and comfort for Muppet outside.

Sparklefizz would have been tempted to "shop" neighbour to RSPCA.

had a sad story on this. I had a brother and sister cat. Brother cat after period of time, no idea why, started attacking sister cat. sister cat found a congenial house down the road. MY DH of the time was so upset when the "new owners" asked if they could take the sister cat with them as sister cat used to walk him to the bus stop. Said no to "new owners" but the bullying persisted and in the end we had to let sister go to whoever she had found refuge with.

Callistemon21 Fri 03-Mar-23 09:37:51

Germanshepherdsmum

I couldn’t have the cat flap fixed so that poor Muppet couldn’t get in. I would be putting extra food down so both Rosie and Muppet had enough and giving Gracie extra reassuring cuddles. Yes, I would be positively enticing poor Muppet into a nice warm, loving home. Why does your neighbour have a cat?

Unfortunately, even though the beighbour neglects Muppet, she may well come round and cause trouble.

If you see her, FannyC perhaps you could mention the magnetic cat flaps and how good they are. Perhaps she'll get one fitted at her house so Muppet can go in and out when he pleases.

Sparklefizz Fri 03-Mar-23 09:34:30

FannyCornforth I know how you feel about Muppet. Your neighbour clearly is a poor cat mum and I wonder why people like that choose to have pets.

I had a neighbour years ago who had 2 tiny kittens, possibly younger than 8 weeks old. They didn't even give them names! Both of them used to scramble up and over my fence for me to make a fuss of them. My own cat was very laid back and didn't mind. I didn't feed them but one of the kittens was sooo desperate to be cuddled and stroked and spent every day in my garden looking for attention.

One evening I came home in heavy rain when fireworks were going off all around despite the weather, to find this kitten trembling and frightened and soaking wet, waiting by my front door! When I moved house I seriously thought about taking him with me, and still regret that I didn't do that. When I went back to pick up some post, he recognised my car engine and came running out to greet me. I feel tearful just remembering that.

You have made a shelter for Muppet in your garden which is a kind thing to do, and I hope that things settle down now that you have your new cat flap.