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Welcome to the *Gransnet Café. This is a non-judgemental space for you to pop in for a cuppa with some virtual friends, seek out advice for a particular problem, or share an update on your life - important or trivial. Feel free to have your say and chat about your day, but please leave any arguments at the door. If you're struggling to find someone to talk to in real life, or are simply looking for a bit of a chat, this is the place for you.

Hi

(6 Posts)
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Lizardyoga Sat 02-Aug-25 10:33:05

I'm new here. Seeing a lot of grandparents estranged from their children and grandchildren. This is not my case but though I always had a good relationship with my daughter she changed towards me after the birth and doesn't want us looking after the children. I find this very hurtful. I've tried having it out with her a few times but nothing changes

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Shinamae Sat 02-Aug-25 10:36:36

I’m very fortunate that it doesn’t involve me personally, but I feel for you and there are plenty of people on this form who will be able to identify with you there are couple of posts on estrangement.. If you just type that into the search bar"

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Caleo Sat 02-Aug-25 10:42:40

Lizardyoga, it does not imply she dislikes you or has ceased to love you. Your daughter simply prefers her type of child care.

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NotSpaghetti Sat 02-Aug-25 12:18:08

I always had a good relationship with my mother - but she often said she wanted to look after my children "to help".

I was not a help to me. I wanted to do it myself.
Please don't think she's changed towards you. ... but now you want something from her that she doesn't want to give.

Don't forget you had your choices when your daughter was a baby.
This is now your daughter's choice.
flowers

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NotSpaghetti Sat 02-Aug-25 12:20:22

Sadly I've tried having it out with her a few times but nothing changes

No. It probably won't change...And she probably finds this pretty hurtful, having to keep on saying "no".

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fancythat Sat 02-Aug-25 17:26:01

Are the children, twins?

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