Not included

I expect they all have very busy lives. You say you ‘always pay our way’. Does that mean every time you see them you go out to eat somewhere? Maybe it’s expensive for them to do that.
Could you ask your 15 year-old grandchild to come and see you on their way home from school? Or invite them all to a meal at your house & see what happens?

Do you mean this has been happening for 15 years if that’s what you mean it’s unlikely to change now is it ?

Why not invite the 15 year old over for a meal is there a job she could do for you? we all like to feel useful, even offer her a little cash enticement if you want why haven’t you made more contact before though, I m not quite understanding how things have got to this when they live so close to you
Can you take the younger one to something? park, swimming pool, shops anything it all sounds so formal and far away
My mum helped a lot with her grandkids as did I with mine

I don’t understand how you pay your way if you only see them for 30 minutes?
Ours live ten minutes away, we might not see them for a week or two, it’s fine they have their own lives now.

Mine live 10 minutes away and I don't see them very often, unless they need lifts, although we text a lot. I find they are usually quite happy to come round if I suggest lunch. Even the 19 year old comes because I cook things he likes.

We seem to see ours lots and then not for a while. As Jax says, they have their own lives. We do what we can when we can. Try never to say no but we have our own lives which they understand.

We only go out to eat on special occasions, arranged by them, they are far from short of money, but we pay our own bill , wouldn't expect anything else, there's no emotional connection between us, ive tried asking why, but his reply is there isn't a problem, he's got 3 weeks off work but can't offer even a afternoon together, very sad

We give pocket money every month to both of them, they don't incourage the grandchildren to visit us, spending time with neighbours in the street hanging out is priority before us, and yet whenever they ask for anything we always say yes, we always let the grandchildren choose what they do on rare days out, with no financial restrictions, don't know what else that we can do

We get together for a cuppa once a week, no money involved except pocket money, but on days out on our own with the grandchildren once every school holiday,youngest 1 only, we happily spend and do whatever they want, can't do anymore

Sad to hear that you feel there is no emotional connection. At least you do get together for a cuppa once a week which is a lot more than some people get to see their families especially if they live some distance away. Not sure what you are looking for or how much more time you expect to spend with your family. Please do talk to your Son and Daughter in Law and perhaps invite them to your home for a meal together.

Getting together once a week seems quite good to me. I see my daughter once a week for coffee and I think I’m very fortunate to do that.

I don’t expect that frequency of contact from my sons, who are at work.

Maybe your expectations are out of step with their lives and the amount of spare time they have. Especially the 15 year old!

Agree with Lathyrus3.

I think there is a danger, maybe for many of us, of thinking that grandchildren are our kids, round 2 so to speak.

Much as many of us might like that, it is not.

Once a week is really good - you should be pleased.
My 3 children and their families live very near - maximum 5 miles. I see my daughter more, only because her children are grown up and she works from home a lot. The 2 boys work away a lot and have 2 young children each. So I see them once a fortnight or so. The ds.I.l. see their parents more than they see me, because they are involved in school pick-ups etc. I am about 10 years older than them, so I don’t do any school runs although, I babysit very occasionally. Suits me.

Sadie
spending time with neighbours in the street hanging out is priority before us
I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad about this, but try to think back to when you were 15. Did you prioritise visiting your grandparents over hanging about with your friends?
Teenagers are preoccupied with exams, their peer group & friendships, and what the future holds for them. We have to accept however much we’ve done in the past got them, that they don’t actually owe us anything.

For them

You've mentioned money in every post. I'm wondering why money has anything to do with your family situation.

Our grandkids (and their parents) live incredibly busy, timetabled lives. What the GC really like is to be at a loose end with us because at our place, there is no schedule or expectations. When they were small we always had a box of charity shop toys, books, paper and crayons. They've outgrown those but they still like to play cards or word games. They are teenagers now, bodies growing and changing fast .

Many years ago a horse breeder showed me his shire foals and told me "Their bodies have such a huge amount of growing to do, foals need to spend a lot of time asleep or relaxing with no stress". I often thought of that when our kids were skinny giant teens, and arill do. The teen GC are just like those foals. At our place, they flop down and spend a lot of time just lolling around on the floor. We are their downtime, their escape room.

Increasingly, they each like to ditch the sibling and have the grandparents all to themselves , and that's when they'll open up and engage.

You can offer something both your GC want and need; a break from parents and siblings, a bit of a relaxing day with some individual attention. You don't need to take them out or do anything special. Making a cake is fun. Helping with a bit of DIY or pottering in the garden. The 15 yr old can walk or cycle over to visit you on his own.. The parents can drop off the younger one for an afternoon.

It is sad you don’t feel there is an emotional connection. Our AC live many miles away so we don’t see them very often but we have a very strong bond.

I’m sorry you’re feeling hurt, but honestly seeing them weekly sounds like an awful lot of time to me!

You've mentioned money in every post. I'm wondering why money has anything to do with your family situation.
I picked up on this too. Why does it matter so much to you?

Your son doesn't seem to see a problem with the relationship but you clearly do

there's no emotional connection between us, ive tried asking why, but his reply is there isn't a problem.

Why do you (and presumably your husband) think the emotional connection is poor?
Do you have other children?

At least you are part of meals out and coffees so not cut off.
Are you able to offer dinner at your home? That might be a way "back in" if you feel things have slipped away?
Or maybe you think it's always been like this?

Agree with Lathyrus3 too

Money doesn't buy what you want