Friends using messages instead of picking up the phone

I hate having phone calls. When mum and dad were getting old and dad had dementia I used to dread the phone ringing. It was always bad news. Compounded by the day my daughter was involved in a riding accident ( she was ok but I didn’t know that for ages). And also the way that, pre catchup tv, the phone would always ring when I was watching something that I’d looked forward to watching ( eg the phone rang just as I was watching the last part of the last episode of The Killing). I love the way that I can message my kids and they can message me and know that we aren’t interrupting anything. My biggest problem with being banned from Facebook on my iPad is that I can no longer use messenger when I’m away from home. I seem to have lost touch with friends that only communicate by phone and won’t email or use messenger.

Yes, I prefer WhatsApp. You can read and respond in your own time.

I do! Long conversations on WhatsApp, it's convenient.

Friend or relatives who ring often do so at an inconvenient time and I think is ruder to cut a conversation short than to reply on WhatsApp at length when you have the time, it also gives the other person a chance to respond when they are free.

And you can send photos on WhatsApp which is nice.

We don't have a landline now, but when we did my mum would ring for a chat, and if I was out she'd call the mobile. She'd usually say 'I tried the house phone but you were out, so I'm on the mobile'. The fact that I was out, so not likely to want to chat didn't cross her mind.

If I rang my mum, she'd just shout "Eastenders!' at me and slam the phone down.
I got her point, wasn't offended, and tried to time calls between the soaps.

I agree with the WhatsApp fans. My granddaughters send me daily messages with photos that keep me informed touch with their lives. I reciprocate with links to articles I think they'd like or would be useful to them. Photos of my new haircut or pedi. It's a v quick & easy way to keep links going, and unlike a phone call you don't have to drop everything to respond immediately.

I have anxiety and I absolutely hate talking on the phone. I tend to stumble my words or forget what I wanted to say.
I don't even talk to my adult children on the phone. I prefer WhatsApp or face to face.
If anything business related I will look for an online chat or a email address first.

It depends on age and / or distance .. Personalised. I prefer telephoning ..

I believe it is what one is accustomed to.

Possibly also what you do professionally.

I hate typing while I am communicating with a friend. I am a Journalist !!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that talking on the phone is faster when making an arrangement. It takes so long on WhatsApp. Also you can't express or hear doubt or worry sometimes.

On the odd occasion when my phone rings, by the time I’ve remembered where I left it and, subsequently found it, it has stopped ringing and the caller has left a voicemail message. If I do have it to hand, by the time I’ve figured out whether to stab at it with a finger of swipe the screen, my caller is gone! Life was so much simpler when the phone would ring and ring, giving you time to get to it, and there was a handset to pick up and then re place on it’s cradle.

I agree with my DD - phone calls can be intrusive, “why does he/she think I can drop whatever I’m doing and talk to them.” When family members want a chat we first arrange a mutually convenient time, that works much better imho. I have a friend who always phones because she says it’s quicker than texting- but it’s generally about something inconsequential eg phoning to say she’s on her way when we’ve already agreed a time and meeting place. I really like wattsapp it enables our busy family to stay in touch all the time and share photos etc.

Greenfinch

I agree with Sago. People seem to ring at the most inconvenient moments . I love WhatsApp and use it regularly to communicate with family and especially with DD. We always begin the day by sharing our Wordle results and that might be all or we may continue to message throughout the day sharing our thoughts and activities and exchanging photos of the pets etc. I think it is a lovely way of keeping in touch.

I agree, Sago. Most communication is via WhatsApp, with photos sometimes. I have weekly conversations with my two sisters, which can go on for at least an hour. These we arrange in advance so that we’re free to chat. In between we message each other daily - they are both on their own now, and one lives in Spain and the other in Devon, I’m in Kent, so we don’t see each other as often as we’d like.

Much prefer texting for day to day. That way I canread and respond at my convenience. If I want to concentrate on something I put my phone on Do Not Disturb or leave it with sound off in another room. I do have virtual happy hours with friends to catch up face to face when we haven’t been able to see each other for awhile but they are scheduled in advance. Glad to not have to answer the phone all the time like before.

Texting is killing the art of conversation

Some people just can’t take a hint though, can they.
I was enjoying my weekly hour-long Zoom Film Studies course the other day when my mobile rang. I’d forgotten to put it on silent, but glancing at who it was and judging it unlikely to be a matter of life or death, I left it. 10 minutes the caller rang again. again I left it (but this time put it on silent for future use)
Ten minutes later I got a WA “ I have rung you twice but you are not answering. Is your phone on silent?”
I didn’t reply,
🤬 the reason I had not picked up was that I was busy and I found the second call followed by the WA incredibly intrusive, demanding and, actually rude.
Didn’t she twig that I might have been doing something else? Or that it was inconvenient?

Gee, and these are still your friends

Friends show consideration for the feelings of others. Unlike perhaps some kids, we of the older generation do not spend our lives with our mobiles surgically grafted to our ears. Life does not stop because a phone rings , and mobiles do not take priority over other activities.

I'm terrible at phoning people. I always worry they'll be busy/just sitting down to eat/with family etc.

I also hate leaving a message if it goes to voicemail

So much easier to WhatsApp!

Leave a voice msg on WA using microphone or even a photo voice msg.. much more personal

I am with Welshy on this - WhatsApp or FacetoFace.

i have always used facebook, i only have family on mine, i will use the messenger on that to ask my dil to ask my son to call when he has a min, i have a house phone and like to use that as i hate typing a full conversation.

I like WhatsApp, you can pick up your messages when it suits you. My family use it in preference to phone or email, and we have several for the local community too.

I'm a fan of WhatsApp. I can read messages or see pics when I want. If a big WhatsApp chat starts I often mute it as I get fed up with the phone beeping to say there's a new message.