Friends using messages instead of picking up the phone

This is personal preference. I myself prefer phone calls with certain people...just a few people actually. All others I prefer texts. For my aunt, with whom I talk regularly, we schedule our phone calls. She's close in age to me and we both really enjoy long talks to each other. For your friend who sends long texts, if your preference is for phone calls, I suggest doing your thing. Which is to keep your reply to a minimum. If your friend wants more input from you, she'll call. Maybe it helps her just to vent(?). On that note, I wonder if she has considered just journaling when she needs to vent.

I often text someone to ask if now is a good time to phone them.

One DD always phones or FaceTimes.
The other messages unless she wants to know something immediately e.g. Do I want to go out for lunch or a coffee?
I like hearing voices, so I’d prefer to call, but like the message I’m posting here, I dictate rather than typing, so a WA exchange can be quite speedy.

I do not mind WhatsApp messages, but it took 31 texts between 6 people over a period of several hours to change the venue (unnecessarily) for a regular coffee morning; when we arrived the proprietor failed to turn up and it remained closed.

I am fairly deaf and have 2 hearing aids. Phone calls are a misery. If I need to speak to the bank, British Gas etc. I have to have the phone on speaker and my OH nearby to correct me if I have mis-heard what has been said. AI Bots I'm sorry to say make those sort of calls easier (usually).

Eloethan

Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone. I have never been that comfortable, unless I know someone really well. Without visual cues, I find it difficult to judge the mood of the conversation or when to speak.

I really do not like talking on the phone. And I particularly hate talking to companies or organisations who want to give me lots of information, data, figures, or facts, that way - it doesn't allow time to think whilst you are scribbling down all the info they are giving you - and I learned shorthand, and use it, but it's still stressful.

... but I love talking face-to-face with family and friends!

Guilty as charged! My various impairments mean I find it easier to text. ( Ido still speak to people on the phone too).

I'm with M0nica. I love hearing people's voices.
Living alone, I really value being able to have a catch-up chat with friends, including those who live overseas, via WhatsApp.
I never mind a tv programme being interrupted. If it's any good, there's BBCiplayer or similar. Real contact with a real person comes first for me.

I remember when the phone ringing was exciting as a friend would be calling to suggest going out. No one chats anymore as humans voice contact is what we are built for. Not hunched backed over a mobile texting. I volunteer as a phone friend. We phone a person and actually talk. No texting. There's a loneliness epidemic in the world. Dial a number and take the time to appreciate your friend.

Eloethan

Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone. I have never been that comfortable, unless I know someone really well. Without visual cues, I find it difficult to judge the mood of the conversation or when to speak.

My reluctance has nothing to do with the advent of texts but I have read that young people are extremely reluctant to use the phone, and some are actually fearful of doing so. That is presumably the result of people living their lives online and feeling more vulnerable using a less controlled method of communication. I can understand that in a way - with texts you choose exactly when to communicate and what to say - and have time to consider how you will reply.

Eloethan Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone.

Me - I hate to waste time on the phone.

Some people don't particularly like talking on the phone. I have never been that comfortable, unless I know someone really well. Without visual cues, I find it difficult to judge the mood of the conversation or when to speak.

My reluctance has nothing to do with the advent of texts but I have read that young people are extremely reluctant to use the phone, and some are actually fearful of doing so. That is presumably the result of people living their lives online and feeling more vulnerable using a less controlled method of communication. I can understand that in a way - with texts you choose exactly when to communicate and what to say - and have time to consider how you will reply.

I'm in the habit of sending messages by WhatsApp.
I often illustrate them with photos of plants
Sometimes I send bible quotations or recipes or something that catches my eye.
At school we had to write daily diaries and illustrate them .
A childhood friend moved away and we wrote long letters to each other.
I always wrote to friends then emails became my choice.

Now it's WhatsApp .

Sorry MissAdventure, I thought you were saying you'd rather have a call
...not that you'd rather they were brief!!!

Mum expected me to chat to her for at least an hour a day. I was happy to do so but she often rang me when I was in a meeting with QCs or later with actuaries. My employers were very sympathetic but I was so embarrassed. My one and only son has followed me into the corporate world and I only contact him on WhatsApp. My landline has gone.

I use whatapp for group chats, often where some who are still working can then join when they can - a bit like GransNet really, don't you think?
I use it for conversations with my disabled brother who is unintelligible on the phone.
And with my lovely DIL who prefers her fingers to her voice.

But yes, I miss phone calls

I definitely prefer WhatsApp. Phone calls can come when you're in the middle of something like cooking, eating, watching a TV show. The caller has no idea if they're disturbing you.

A chat so much more friendly What’s wrong with the phrase is now a good time If not you can arrange a mutually convenient time A conversation can move in directions you might not have anticipated

My family is totally WhatsApp. If any of us phone each other it's bound to be devastating news.

I've not spoken on the phone for a long time now i just don't answer it at all.

I had a much loved friend, school friend, who would phone me and vice versa once a fortnight. We would have an extremely long chat and I was happy with that. Sadly, she died a couple of years ago so now my phone is silent.

I still love a conversation and feel the written word lacks the nuance of spoken language.

My sis-in-law is known for her fast typing and long texts. By the time you answer the first one, she has sent two more. I just end up calling her, since I know she has her phone in hand.

For some others, I will ask if they are available for a call. We have some lovely before dinner chats with friends of ours, all on speakerphone like we are sitting at the same table with our glasses of wine or beer. Texting just isn't the same. It's fine for messages and arranging meetings, etc.

Pleasebenice

It’s is not a single useful message or a fun photo I object to. It is a long conversation that goes on and on!

It takes two to have a conversation. Just delay sending a response until you’re ready. Or if it’s a trivial topic, ignore it.

Rarely use the phone. A group of us in WI have a group Whatsapp and it works really well.

I’m the opposite, I either like a fully WhatsApp chat or a face to face chat.

Our family all use WhatsApp a lot and we have various groups for different purposes, ditto most friends.

After my husband died I was plagued with call from companies who had purchased shareholder lists from other companies he had invested in, even though I had signed up to the system to have calls stopped. It went on for years, and it was upsetting to have people asking for him all the time. That instilled a dread of phone calls in me, and I still feel that dread when it rings. My family and friends have various groups on messenger, or use texts, and I far prefer that, we often use Zoom or messenger calls to talk in person (and we can see each other too, which is a bonus). The only person I ring regularly is my 97 year old mum.

Poppyred

I hate when the phone rings, just message me!

Another phone-call hater here, I've always hated it.
Whatsapp's OK.

WhatsApp is no replacement for the to and fro of a conversation with someone, either face to face or on the phone.

If someone rings me at an inconvenient time, I either do not pick up and ring later or I answer and say 'Can I ring you back? When would be convenient?'

WhatsApp has its uses, but in many ways it is just a watered down email. Telephones are for those enjoyable conversations with friends you cannot often meet up with, or family who are not physically close. We phone DS once a week and have a conversation that can meander over lots of different subjects. In between we email and WhatsApp, but it is the weekly phone call that keeps us close.