Feeling let down

Is the Madrid trip just the four of you?

To me, things sound a bit one-sided.

They have a wide circle of friends, but you are the ones who have hosted them the last two Christmas days, and you’re hosting again this year, because they have ‘family issues’ and would be on their own. So they haven’t offered to host you for a change?

And none of their existing circle have offered to have them either.

If it were me, I think I would ease off on the holiday plans, and future Christmas meals.

But then I don’t really want to do loads of stuff with others, so perhaps I’m odd!

I think Graphite gives good advice about this problem.

You said yourself that this couple had an existing social network.

It sound like you have been doing things as a foursome but have never been integrated into their wider network. Is that right?

If this has been going on for a few years they probably think you are happy with the way things are. Have you ever said otherwise?

Networks are exactly that, Venn diagrams where parts overlap and parts don’t.

I think you are being a tad over-sensitive regarding the wine bar. I’d have just said something like. “Let me know if it’s any good then perhaps we can make a date to go there as we said we’d like to try it.”

Can you think of any reason why they might not want you as part of their wider circle (if that is the case). Anyone there you might not get along with or vice versa? Or maybe they just prefer socialising in foursomes and nothing larger.

I'm sorry you are upset by this but honestly, I can't see the problem. Your friends have other friends they see now and again. I can't see there's anything wrong with this.