Mental illness

Oh my goodnesssallybee123 I am so sorry to hear about your problems.
I wish you the best and hope that you can find peace somehow.

Mental health issues
Hello. I am having more more anxiety and I want proper treatment if I can get it.
I have an appointment on 25 June to see the gp but I hope to be referred to a mental health specialist.
Does this resonate with anyone else?

Goodness, Sallybee123, you've had more to deal with in your life than most people would in several lifetimes. You've had so much pain and grief that it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed and overloaded. In contrast I feel terribly guilty for feeling as I do because right now my life is far from hard and there is no real reason for me to be so unwell. You have probably spent so much time and energy supporting others in your family and caring for them that caring for YOU has had to take a back-seat - am I right? Anyone would feel not only tired, but utterly and completely exhausted. No wonder you are feeling so dreadful. What support do you have for yourself? Have you had, or are you having, any talking therapy for your painful losses and grief? I can identify with your situation over your genetic condition, in a way: I am a carrier for Goltz syndrome and passed it on, unknowingly, to my daughter - she has symptoms whilst I do not. However, you desperately need ongoing support and I wonder whether you've had that in your life. Meds are OK up to a point but as you say, they anaesthetise slightly and little more. Hugs coming your way - I really hope you are able to access good, long-term therapy which might help you deal with all the pain you've had to bear for so long. XXX

Hi Rowantree

It is hard, not just trying to cope with my illness(s), but also with life. I am very tired and I don't want to be strong, I just want to be wrapped up and not deal with the realities.

At the moment, I am still not daring to grieve my mother and father in laws deaths, and my Mum's death last year, I don't dare really acknowledge the death of my 4yr old grandson in March this year, and how the hell do I deal with the knowledge that the genetic condition that my 18yr old has (inherited from me), is killing her? I don't know how long she has now, but it's clear that it's not long.

Oh and lest we forget, there's all those 'normal' stressors, 'moving house', supporting a daughter whose hubby was in Afghanistan, being physically ill.....

Seriously, I am exhausted, I fear life, and what might happen next, I am not strong, there is a degree of anaesthetic from my meds, so my feelings are less sensitive, but I avoid the outside world, that way I don't have to deal with much more.

Big hugs xxx

And sallybee: I hear you. You sound a very strong lady who suffers a great deal. Glad Rethink helps.

vampirequeen, if you are describing your symptoms, some of them are similar to mine. I have anxiety, depression and unstable mood disorder and have had for decades. I feel I am alone in that I have unwanted feelings and thoughts I feel deeply ashamed of and despite enduring months of intensive therapy (Mentalisation-Based therapy) - I'm 6 months into an 18month course) I feel no better - worse, in fact. I have tried endlessly to help myself and to pull myself out of the mire but in fact I am getting worse and I risk making the my loved ones suffer too, though I try with all my might to prevent that happening. I also have a daughter with Unstable Mood disorder (otherwise known as Borderline Personality Disorder) who suffered greatly as a teenager, and had a long hard struggle, but she is doing extremely well: she finally had a therapy which helped her enormously, and with determination, love and a wonderful partner, now has a good life, is self-employed doing something she loves and has a beautiful 3-month-old daughter: our first grandchild. She puts me to shame.
Mental health problems still evoke shame and guilt in the sufferers who often feel they are burdens to their families despite trying hard to overcome their problems. I live constantly with the fear that if anyone knew what I am really like, they wouldn't want to know me at all. I can't see that changing much, but I am still trying, and will continue to do so as long as I have breath.

I am quite articulate and very self aware, but my heart goes out to others that I know who are less able to be assertive.

When I am physically ill it always affects my MH, I become very tearful, which just reinforces the view that I am being 'emotional' grrrrr!

The stigma around mental illness is huge. Part of the problem is that there is a stereotypical view of sufferers, so Schizophrenics are viewed as murderers, and yet as a % of sufferers, there is less violence perpetrated by people with psychiatric diagnosis than by the rest of the population.....makes for good reading in the press though.

The vast majority of violence perpetrated by psychiatric patients is to self, eg self harming, suicide etc.

Bipolar is becoming quite a 'sexy' diagnosis as increasing numbers of 'stars' are coming out of the 'closet', but I would love to be 'normal', it must be amazing to not feel like this!

I know exactly how you feel 35 years ago I had anorexia and since then panic attacks and anxiety - like you I have held management positions and brought up children. But when ever I go to the doctors with an ailment -it's stress !!! So I try not to go unless very urgent. You would think in this day and age the perception of mental illness would be different.

I am new so nothing to lose.....I suffer from Mental Illness, Bipolar type 2, and generalised anxiety. I only have one head though, am not violent, have managed to bring up 3 children, and until the end of last year also held down a senior management position.

When I am unwell, it is a living hell, I hear 2 voices, one telling me that I am not worth life, that everyone would be much better off if I were dead, that I am useless, disgusting ......the other tells me not to listen, to take a deep breath, to contact someone for help etc. My days when I am poorly, consist of using distraction techniques for 15minute blocks, so I persuade myself that I won't do anything stupid until zi have finished the puzzle, have done the word search etc. I don't wash, I don't dress, I don't communicate......

Most of the time I am somewhere between ill and well. I am scared of hurting myself, but scared of life, and I do sometimes think that I am a drain on the public purse, I cost a lot in Meds (Oh yes the meds.....all have side effects, some interact with each other, but they keep me alive), I am reliant on not only the MH services, but on my GP, the Cardiologist, the Neurologist, the Haemotologist, the Dermatologist, the Rheumatologist.......

My husband is incredible, he has retired early to become my carer, and does look after me, he encourages me and enables me to try to be independent. He prompts me, tells me when I pong and persuades me to get in the bath. He encourages me to go to the hairdresser (which means he comes too), he comes with me to every appointment, he is someone very special!

On a day to day basis I am very dependent on the support of other sufferers and carers on the Rethink forum. I would recommend that anyone struggling either caring for or experiencing MH problems to have a look at this specialist group, most of us are very self aware and able to recognise our illness.

So, assuming you are still reading, what's the worst aspects of mental illness? STIGMA in the press, when trying to access services (in my case just a few weeks ago, I knew I wasn't well, my leg was very painful, and I just knew something was wrong. Even after blood results suggesting I had a clot, the A&E staff asked me if perhaps I was 'stressed' and the pain was perhaps psychosomatic....the scan confirmed otherwise 3 large deep vein thrombosis in one leg, two in the other

Or when I kept raising my concerns about a mole on my leg, it's just anxiety they said.....until the mole was excised to shut me up.....oops, stage 3 malignant melanoma

I am considered to be a second class being.

Sorry to hear your update grannya - the relatives of people with mental health problems so often seem to be sidelined or blamed. It's close family /freinds who pick up the pieces, offer lifelong support yet aren't part of the 'team' somehow, but sadly often seen as part of the problem. I appreciate the need for autonomy and confidentiality but .....

You're right Brendawymms the nearest relative can be displaced by a County Court Judge and one of the grounds for such an application is that the nearest relative 'is incapable of acting as such because of mental disorder or other illness'. A more suitable nearest relative is then appointed. An AMHP (used to be called an ASW) would need to make the application.

This is a useful link:

www.rethink.org/resources/n/nearest-relative-factsheet

Again as far as I remember the nearest relative can be replaced by someone else if necessary. It's worth speaking to the social worker, or whatever they are called now, and see what the options are. I wish I was still up to date with Mental Health Law so could help better.

Unfortunately the 'Nearest Relative' (brother) for legal purposes also suffers from schizophrenia and is showing signs of being ill at the moment. It was to him that the initial information was passed on. My parents in law are their foster carers (for forty years) and have been completely sidelined by every one of the mental health professionals as being people of no account.

There used to be section 7 mental Health Act to obtain Guardianship of someone's affairs who has severe mental health concerns. I'm retired now so am not aware of the current set up but as he is sectioned 3 MHA it may be worth asking.

Ga Sorry to hear this after all your efforts

Just found this thread ga - so sorry to hear things have been stressful and sad for so long. Your comments about the confidentiality issues, the excluding of caring relatives when the patient is unable to make decisions or keep themselves safe, is sadly familiar. Look after yourself also.

ga

So sorry to hear this GA. (((hugs))) are all I can offer and of course you can tell everyone on GN about it any time you like

I am sorry to hear that things have not got better, ga. I well know the feelings of hopelessness.

I'm so sorry to hear this, ga. I hope he's recovering and you, too. What a terrible situation

Sadly I was over-optimistic about the new case worker - who in spite of promises did not keep her word that she would apply for a Section 3 order. After several very difficult weeks I've just heard that my brother in law is very seriously ill after being fished unconscious out of the river. NOW there is an application for a Section 3 order!! It was so predictable that I just weep. The family, and especially my poor parents in law are devastated.

The sharing of information is so often up against over zealous ideas of patient/client confidentiality. Particularly when someone quite apparently appears to be unable to make a rational decision themselves. I hope it goes well GrannyA

I used to love AMHP work. Alas, I have now moved into a different field and altnough I'm enjoying it I do miss the feeling that one could really make a difference in such difficult situations.

God bless you grannyactivist for your perseverance and support for your relative and his family

Honestly nightowl this woman has done more in one week than the combined MHT has done in years. She understands that listening to the family does not constitute a breach of confidentiality and is the first person to have taken a history of my relative and the first person to have got all the professionals together to share information. When she told us that there was nothing on file since the end of February it beggared belief. Since that time there has been police involvement, a Section 2 Order, and a separate hospital admission! Not on file!! Arggh! God bless AMHP's -that's wot I say!

That is good news grannyactivist. You can usually rely on AMHPs to act sensibly. Their training is extremely thorough and they have to know the law inside out. Here's hoping for a swift resolution for you and your family.