At that age I'd suggest co-sleeping and letting him feed at night. All kids are different and this is an exhausting, pointless battle when the solution could be so much easier on mum and babe. There are no 'shoulds' with this, one of my granddaughers co-slept and breast fed until she was four.
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Sleepless toddler - family at end of tether
(96 Posts)My poor DD and her OH are at their wits' end - 18 month old boy has never slept and he just screams the place down for hours if he doesn't get attention when he wakes at night. They really are doing all the right things: peaceful bedtime routine, putting him back down when he wakes with no interaction.
The basic problem is that he uses my DD's boobs (or anyone else's he can get his hands on - including mine!) as a comforter and will not be weaned on to anything else however hard they try. He really is a beefy chap with a bellow like a bull so it is impossible to ignore him unless you put him to bed next door!
He wakes up his 4 year old brother who is now having disturbed nights too!
Poor DD had serious ante-natal depression so did not sleep throughout her pregnancy - I leave you to do the maths on how long it is since she had a proper night's sleep!
I have sent off for two things for her:a Ewan the sheep which goes in the cot and glows and produced white noise; some Serenite Junior (herbal sleeping drops for little ones), which costs an arm and several legs!!!
Does anyone have experience of either of these? - or any other ideas?
Thanks
Sago
I hope he’s weaned off the breast😬
Very good 😂
Ha ha!
I hope he’s weaned off the breast😬
Lemsip They’re resurrected by Spam and the because posters don’t bother to read the OP.
A TEN Year old Thread. 2013! where do they dig these up from.
Callistemon21
MerylStreep
THE CHILD IS AT SECONDARY SCHOOL NOW.
LOOK AT THE DATE.Yes, but perhaps he's still not sleeping at night
Take his phone off him 😄
Very good 👏👏
MerylStreep
THE CHILD IS AT SECONDARY SCHOOL NOW.
LOOK AT THE DATE.
Yes, but perhaps he's still not sleeping at night
Take his phone off him 😄
Foxygloves
You’ll have to speak up MerylStreep!
You watch, somebody will post 🤦🏼♀️
You’ll have to speak up MerylStreep!
THE CHILD IS AT SECONDARY SCHOOL NOW.
LOOK AT THE DATE.
Oh dear I feel for you and your DD. However this must stop, at 18 months he knows he has control! It's time to turn the tables and be very hard . Your daughter must not worry too much about his finer feelings - they don't have many at this age! They are definitely self interested - that is normal. Put him in his cot say night night , and leave the room . I know it is hard and I understand that she is desperate for sleep for herself and her son , hence allowing the boob fondling - I get why she does that ! However........... by permitting that she is rewarding him for making those demands!! Ask her to harden her heart ,do not return to his room and NO. more leaning over his cot to comfort him. It will be very stressful indeed but no pain no gain , I do hope she / they can persevere. Another idea if that does fail ( doubt it will ) if her OH is male send him upstairs to their son - no chance of boob comfort then! Ask your DD to be consistent and firm , her son will eventually get the message and will not hold her actions against her ! She will be doing him a favour in the long run! As you say she has had a tough time conceiving and giving birth ,this is probably the root of her feelings. I wish her luck , while she is persevering with this new routine I know you will reassure her she is a good mum - because she is !! I wish her luck , hope she sticks to her guns and that the new regime pays off . Hard to do I know that but she must have courage and determination if she is to be successful, it will be well worth it eventually. If she really finds ignoring his crying too much to bear ask her to send someone else upstate - whatever happens - no more boob fondling!!!!!! Good luck .
It’s probably helpful to others but this post is 10 years old and child involved is now at secondary school.
Noise cancellation headphones.
This is an OLD THREAD!!!!
Resurrected again by Spammer.
MargaretX The mother shoudn't be feeding him at night at 18 months?
Why?
Reported
Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.
Have I missed this? Did anyone ask if he was watching TVduring the evening or daytime? Watching the tele does things with your brainwaves even though you don't realise it. A picture on a TV screen is really thousands of pictures one after another and baby brain shouldn't be having to cope with that.
The mother shoudn't be feeding him at night at 18 months but I feel if she was ill with depression then he has the feeling he is not satisfied whatever she does and just wants more and more.
Dr Spock suggested the baby should sleep in someone else's house or someone comes into the house and gives that poor mother a rest. Is that possible? I know that in my town (in Germany) there is a crying baby clinic and taking the baby away to give the mother (and father) a rest of one or two nights is practiced.
I had my 18 month old grandchild once here due to an emergency.
Hope something works...
Mishap You say he is quite strapping, I remember a neighbour of mine had a constant crying baby, and was up most nights and it was found that he was not quite eating enough or eating foods that would fill him up.
He also obviously is not ready to give up a comforter so maybe you could introduce a teddy of some sort or perhaps a baby blanket that was safe.
Sometimes its easier for the whole family to give into baby sleeping in the bed with parents if safe.
One last piece of info that may help your poor DD There is a TV Nanny that I would say was excellent, her name is Joe Frost and she covers this subject in one of her books, her advise really is effective, I am sure you could find a copy on Amazon.
Get him checked out by a Cranio Sacral Therapist. Lots of children suffer trauma at birth, especially to their skull, which can make them uncomfortable and difficult to settle. It usually only takes a couple of treatments to resolve the problems and it is incredibly gentle.
Lots of thanks - I had pm too about Mumsnet.
mishap Tanya Byron is on Mumsnet now with a discussion about sleep woes, might help.
I tried bedtime routines, controlled crying, stripping the bedroom of anything that might cast shadows, put in a ticking clock because the regular tick tock was supposed to be soothing and finally at 18 months took her into our bed. It was the best thing I ever did. For the first time since she was born we all slept. As she got older she began to understand what bed was all about. When she was old enough to understand how a clock measured time I got a clock, put her to bed and told her I would come back after 5 minutes so that she could see me but I wouldn't speak only smile then I would go downstairs again for another 5 minutes. Once she was used to five minutes I gradually increased the number of minutes. It took a few weeks but eventually she was falling asleep before I went back upstairs. She still woke in the early hours and would climb into bed with us for a while but eventually she even stopped doing that.
I have no idea why she hated being left so much. My second DD was the exact opposite. She had to be woken up to eat and never bothered about being on her own.
I suppose some children just need more comfort than others. So tell your DD to comfort her child. He's still very young.
Too right Absent Its a difficult one to call really.
Both mine were good sleepers apart from teething and being poorly, so I was never really challenged like this.
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