chemo

I am beginning to think[could be wrong] that your mum loves you very much.
I agree that she is not showing you, but in her way, I think that she does.

Yes, ethel - smells and tastes change a bit, depending on the "cocktail" of your chemo. It, like the rest of it, will pass. Glad you have been in touch with MacMillan - well done!

Re your mum. Could she be very afraid of loosing you and is having trouble knowing how to communicate this fear without upsetting you? It may be why she's telling her friends - in order that they will support her. The trouble is they're likely to be all gloom and doom. For her generation cancer means a death sentence. Perhaps you could use MacMillan to explain things to her? Reassure her that you're not about to pop your clogs and help her to support you rather than antagonise. And being professionals she'll believe them.

I agree with NfkDumpling. When my son was diagnosed with cancer he said I could ring MacMillan whenever I felt the need.

I did and their advice was to follow his lead i.e. if he wanted to talk, talk with him. if he wanted to be quiet follow his lead and don't ask questions. I did exactly what they said and it has worked well, although it is often difficult for me to keep quiet.

My son was very tired with the chemo and he is only 44 so as I guess that as you are older than that Ethel - it is normal, if miserable, to feel tired.

Best wishes Ethel

I agree with NfkDumpling. When my son was diagnosed with cancer he said I could ring MacMillan whenever I felt the need.

I did and their advice was to follow his lead i.e. if he wanted to talk, talk with him. if he wanted to be quiet follow his lead and don't ask questions. I did exactly what they said and it has worked well, although it is often difficult for me to keep quiet.

My son was very tired with the chemo and he is only 44 so as I guess that as you are older than that Ethel - it is normal, if miserable, to feel tired.

Best wishes Ethel

Good for you Etheltb. Treat yourself like spun glass. It's a slog being nice to people when you are in this state but your mother is showing you how much she cares . I'd let her tidy your bin. I think that's really kind of her. Simple soap and bath stuff don't have any smell. Send her out to buy some. HopE your DD shared the chocs with you.

ethalbags your coping brilliantly. Family relationships are complex somtimes too complex. Beyond our understanding. My poor dad used to get on my nerves just sitting in the same room as me. He didn't even have to say or do anything.

took mother shopping today so she is 'stocked up for the big storm' that she is convinced is coming. Took DD shopping today so I have had quite a good day.
Looking back I did not realise that I would be so lonely, I wish now I had had a relationship and not been so independent (no Im not trying to wind anyone up with the subjects of relationships). Just someone to talk to or to go out with but Ive made my bed .........
even a friend who is an atheist has promised to pray for me... that's got to be a good sign.
DGD said 'luv you granma' today xx

Families!!!!!

Glad you're back on track with your mother, ethel, sounds as though you had a lovely day and are feeling better!

Is there a BC support forum you could join just to swap experiences and treatment side-effects? It's only natural to feel lonely when no one else knows exactly what you're going through.

Ana, nobody gets on track with her. lol, they chucked the mould away when they made hers.
she bought my DD more pressies today, think shes making a point that I may have taken her shopping but Im still in the bad books. Shes at her volunteering tomorrow which she rules with an iron will, Margaret Thatcher may have been called the Iron Lady but my mother could outdo her any day. Its her will that keeps her going,something to do with living through the war years, Hitler would have run a mile if he'd invaded and met my mother and some of her contemporaries.

You sound as if you are doing really well ethel - well done.

Really good to hear Ethelbags !

Well done ethel, glad you had a better day.

Who needed Dad's Army if your mother was around?

rose, her dad was in the local 'dads army', the volunteer defence force, or whatever they were called and he was just as forceful as she is now. (churchills secret weapon).

ethel, i read an article regarding mistletoe extract being used to boost the immune system after chemo. maybe worth checking?

My dad was the captain of the local Home Guard. He always said that Dad's Army was very like the real thing!

I thought mistletoe was poisonous!

So did mine annodomini - he nearly shot an American GI snogging a girl under a railway bridge Dad was 'guarding'!

amarmai, yes I thought mistletoe
was poisonous too. Much to the dissapoinment of some gnetters, I will not be testing it unless I can buy it from trusty Holland and Barrett or such like.

btw, if I had lived in the 2nd world war like my mother, I would have been a GI dolly and gone for the nylons and chocolate. Taken the line of least resistance.(no assertiveness like my ma)

I suspect that your mother managed to take some assertiveness out of you etheltbags1, if you dont mind me saying.
She sounds like a formidable person.

You will feel very tired ethel DH is amazed at how much time he spends in bed. Just go with it and do what you feel you can. You are sounding much more positve now All the best!

Hi Ethel, I also had the same reaction , but I read that some chemo patients have benefitted from an extract of mistletoe. Perhaps worth checking ?

Don't even buy it from Holland and Barrett or any reputable health store without thorough checking with your doctor and nurse first.
You have to be extremely careful as some natural products will cause a bad reaction with drugs.

I am all for trying to boost your immune system but would only recommend Vitamin D and perhaps a general vitamin ethel - or nothing at all if you feel uneasy about taking supplements.