Good friends who won't diet

J52- I really like the idea of a really beautiful smaller glass- I've inherited some beautiful cut crystal baccarat (French) glasses, and use those- and they are much smaller.

Gasp granjura
How could you!
Mary Berry is practically a saint

(Anyway, she is older than us, we don't know how wrinkled we will be at that age - if we I get there)

Granted granjura but she will be 80 next month too.

DM always said it was your face or your figure as you got older.
I wonder if janer's friends have lovely plump, smooth, unwrinkled skin?

No - because they smoke like chimneys! They do have faces that are full of character though, they are both very sociable. It's a shame I can't put their photos on here. I value my own life too highly though.

Blow all this talk about large/small/cut crystal glasses. Buy yourselves some medieval style pottery goblets then nobody knows how much you've got in there.

You can't alter other people you can only alter yourself.

You have to allow people to live the lives they want even if it is killing them slowly because it is their life.

My wonderful mother who had never smoked or drunk alcohol was slim and walked everywhere died when she was 79 from bowel cancer.

My mother in law who smoked until she was 65 lived until she was 92.

Another relative of mine was huge must have weighed 25 stone lived until she was 79,same age as my mother.

You just never know what's in store for anyone.

I would advise Stop Worrying janer
You will make yourself ill from worritting!
Just enjoy their company- you can describe the lovely things you've seen on your walks when you get back to their bench!

I wish I could stop seeing the title of this thread as "Good friends who won't die".

Nah Merlot- wine taste really horrible out of pottery goblets!
It is amazing how much the material of the container can affect the taste. I used to take the Mik out of my mil, because she would only drink tea from China cups, and not earthenware- but I do just the same now- mugs, but China mugs, for both coffee and tea (which I have weak, no milk, no sugar)- it tastes totally different.

BTW my mum smoked heavily from the age of 16- and was still smoking, albeit less, by the time she died aged 94. It did affect her legs though, and she was lucky not to have them amputated (as my bil's mum's legs, 1 then the other, due to smoking). My parents were very frugal and careful eaters- and did lots of sport- but they always had a glass of red wine with lunch and dinner- always.

jingl, I keep reading it like that too...

I agree re bone china, I will only drink tea out of bone china mugs. Someone once gave us stainless steel wine goblets - that was foul.

They were both in hospital for a couple of weeks each last year. That's why I'm worried. Him with heart problems and her with diabetes. They were both so upset and worried about each other - but now they seem to have wiped it all from their minds. I have said to her, how can you let him eat that much when you know he has to diet? She said exactly what I know she is feeling about herself, that no matter what she says to him, or what she feeds him, he will just go and get his food fix elsewhere if she doesn't give it to him. So the reality is that just as I have to accept that they won't change their ways, they have had to accept that from each other. They didn't even manage a week. She tried one of those electronic cigarettes but went back to real ones, he wouldn't even try. They tried to cut back on alcohol and ended up with liqueur on ice creams and port in trifles.

I have accepted that there is nothing I can do or say, I just don't entirely understand why they seem so ready to kill themselves off just yet. They have family and lots of friends, a nice home and garden and lots of interests. Maybe they think they are immortal.

Didn't realise immortality was an option! Not everyone wants to I've long enough to end up in a care home at 90. Something will get you in the end. Fit as a fiddle and lost to Alzheimers, it's no better. We all have to choose our own paths even if others find them frustrating. Lovely people? Enjoy their company & respect their choices however bewildering you find them.

I have to say that Cauliflower cheese made with double cream and eggs sounds wonderful.

It sounds like a cauliflower and cheese omelette to me!

Just a vey rich Béchamel sauce, not an omelette.

very not vey.

If you say so, absent.

Just... don't go there friends.
You are worth more than double cream, eggs, wine and so much more.
Size 12 awaits...

But cheese is just the biz!

Well, I just give up, I suppose I knew all along that I would have to. I shall ignore all the facebook photos of meals, hide them as they appear, I think I shall limit myself to the odd question as to which cake is best for a diabetic when we go out for afternoon tea! I am only human, after all... And it is better than banging their heads together, after all.

Your friends know the score. If they choose to take no action that is entirely their business. Just enjoy their company while they are still around. If they were unaware of the connection between size, health and what you eat, the situation would be different.

I had a friend who was a smoker. To be fair, she knew the dangers and did attempt to cut back, but never managed to entirely kick the habit, not even when two members of her family died of smoking associated cancers.

She knew I hated cigarette smoke, it gives me migraine, and I rarely saw her smoke but I never said anything direct about stopping smoking. We were close friends and I knew she knew the score.

She died aged 64 from lung cancer. All my saying anything would have done was undermine our friendship, which continued to the end.

Could they have a food addiction?

We didn't put double cream in cauliflower cheese when I did my cookery exam at school in the 50s! They sound like a jolly couple and are already in their 70s, they enjoy life which is what a lot of people dieting don't do.

If they go early which need not be the case as overweight people aften live quite long lives then it is their choice. They sound like nice friends to have.
Enjoy their company and cooking if they invite you.

At least they do not pretend and are not in denial- as so many very over-weight people are, who claim they do 'not eat a thing'.

Some people keep slim by smoking loads, or over- exercising to addiction levels, etc.

Sad but true.

I suppose their/my problem is that the food addiction, which is causing their illnesses, is visible. They do smoke loads and it doesn't work to make them slim! What's worse, one of their sons died of lung cancer from smoking so much at a very young age, but it hasn't stopped them. They are both just 70, and it's a longer life than many have, I can see that.