Gransnet forums

Health

Good friends who won't diet

(134 Posts)
janerowena Tue 24-Feb-15 11:47:07

What do you do? In their early 70s, both shaped like tennis balls, lovely, lovely people. She has diabetes, he has heart problems - yet she is having cauliflower cheese made with double cream and four eggs tonight. Alongside steak. She told me today what her weekly shopping bill comes to, and it's 50% more than mine is when DS (who eats enough for two) is at home, together with DBH, for the holidays. So mathematically their food bill (bought at the same supermarket) for two could feed six adults.

They also complain about lack of money!

It's very hard to watch your friends killing themselves. They have been given diet sheets and don't think they even managed to make the first week. She is a wonderful cook. I have tried to suggest that she should cut down on desserts - that didn't go down too well. They both drink a fair bit, too.

They are both in their early 70s. So, is it a case of, let them die happy at a younger age and still remain friends? Or do I nag them and end up losing them as friends anyway? They seem to have forgotten how very ill they both were last year. She can barely walk now, her knees are crumbling under her weight.

granjura Tue 03-Mar-15 22:24:03

Indeed- what I was trying to say, poorly (again)- is that being slim is not NECESSARILY being healthy- if what is keeping one slim is very un-healthy, be it due to smoking, slimming drugs or even very poor diet and obsessive dieting. Slimming can, for some people, and if done too quickly, be very dangerous with someone with heart problems. Something OH has tried to explain to some friends, who also refused to listen.

Agree that in your friends case- it sounds that there are many problems combining in a recipe for disaster - and that there is little you can do.

FlicketyB Wed 04-Mar-15 18:13:49

janerowena It is not food addiction. They are not constantly stuffing their faces with any food they can lay their hands on 24 hours a day. They are choosing to eat a rich diet containing good quality ingredients which are cooked well. They are gourmands. Cauliflower Cheese with the sauce made with cream and eggs is a sauce your friend has developed for herself to make this recipe. You are very unlikely to see a recipe like that in any cook book.

We are not our brother's (or sister's keeper). It may be difficult for you but if that is the way they choose to live, knowing the dangers, a short life expectancy is the risk they have consciously chosen.

If I was doing anything I would be looking for the psychological reason to explain why your friends have adapted such an aggressively destructive life style. They are presumably intelligent people with an income to sustain a lifestyle that can include bountiful purchases of food, alcohol and cigarettes.

janerowena Wed 04-Mar-15 22:57:09

Intelligent, yes, well off, no. They spend a huge proportion of their income on food, alcohol and cigarettes. As far as he is concerned, his parents were restaurateurs, his grandparents hoteliers, so he is used to good food, it is his main pleasure in life and his right, as he sees it. She is a very good cook, I would have thought that she could conjure up something really nice with her knowledge. I was hoping that I could come up with something that would give them both some incentive, but I shan't try any longer. Maybe one day he won't be able to fit in his canoe, that would do it.

MargaretX Thu 05-Mar-15 10:31:11

It has not yet been proved that overweight people are not as healthy as slim people. The BM index considered in Europe to be the most healthy for middle aged or older people is 27/28. It is natural that living creatures put on some weight when they are older. It is due to evolution. You need some fat for emergencies. if you have had cats you know they get rounder with age.
The fact is that nobody can make money out of this. It is the food industry which is responsible for an altogether unrealistic view on aging, looks and food.
Leave you friends alone and enjoy their company!

goose1964 Fri 06-Mar-15 18:26:49

actually that sounds a good meal for a diabetic - it looks like they are following the lchf diet - low carb high fat method of controlling blood sugar levels - the theory is that all carbs are turned into sugar by the body - not good for diabetics - and because you restrict you carb intake you need to eat more fat so your body can us this for energy . also many low fat products are loaded with sugar to make them taste nice. the odd thing about this diet is that although it goes against all received wisdom of diets you can lose wight on it . I follow this diet & last month I lost 8lbs and my blood sugar has come down

Faye Fri 06-Mar-15 19:47:58

Years ago I tried janerowena to influence my step mother by buying her some healthy style cookbooks. My father had a single bypass which was 80% clogged up again within a year. My step mother loved to cook but her food was very, very rich. My father walked for miles, was active and looked good for his age but ended up with a pacemaker.

People lose weight on these high fat diets but some fats do not melt at body temperature and clog up arteries.

I would leave them alone, they must know the reason they are overweight.

Bobbysgirl19 Tue 24-Mar-15 16:05:05

You can't say anything as you risk being told it's nothing to do with you, which is true. Adult people make their own choices unless of course they ask for advice and then you could freely offer it.

janerowena Tue 24-Mar-15 16:57:58

I have given up, you are all right, of course.