cancer

That's great news ethel!
now for goodness sake stop worrying and get on with building up your strength

I'm amazed that having had a life threatening illness people worry about the lawn being cut and things not being put back in the right place.
Go on, flame me. I know there are many of you thinking along the same lines.

petra....

It isn't that simple though, petra, especially when you live alone.

All the usual things still have to get done somehow, and surviving serious illness tends to make people more anxious if they're that way inclined, despite being grateful for all the treatment they've received.

I agree entirely ana, what ethel previously posted was she had four cats and a huge lurcher which all slept on her bed. She wouldn't have been so worried about germs. Ethel was told her immune system would be lessened and to use anti bacterial spray. There has been advice in Australia in the media and government against anti bacterial spray because it contains triclosan, the doctor would have been better suggesting soap and water for cleaning.

Having cancer I would have been very worried and felt very down about it too and ethel you have every reason to have felt extremely anxious. I hope you can relax more now after your great result and keep well.

That is wonderful news ethel please don't spoil your recovery by worrying so much. Get out and enjoy life, even if it's just a walk to the park . We are having some lovely weather , revel in the fact that you are still here to enjoy it and let the future look after itself.

Great news ethel. You have got the news you wanted. So pleased for you. I assume that you are very grateful.

I dont think it is possible to also have had a personality transplant as well, so it is understandable that you are still much the same person as before.
But probably, as the weeks go by, you will relax more about your new situation.

I just got appointment for check up in 3 weeks time, I am scared that it will have come back by then. I try to distract my self but it comes to haunt me at night.

Has anyone else been like this.

ehtel, it won't have come back after three weeks! They won't even be checking, this appointment will just be to make sure your operation site is healing OK.

I don't know how old you are ethel but I'm presuming you may have another 20 or so years to look forward to. That means 1,040 weeks. Will you be spending all of them worrying about whether it has come back - or will you be getting on with life and enjoying it?

I am sorry, but for goodness sake!!
A week ago you get the "all clear" and we are all pleased for you. Don't you think you are being a tiny bit completely paranoid now?
There are only so many reassuring noises a person can make and you have had those a-plenty.
Time to stop obsessing and be bloody grateful you gave been given a second chance instead of woring yourself into a state.
Don't wish to sound unkind, but there is not a lot to say except " get a grip".

What a horrid post Soutra. If you feel like that perhaps it's better to keep your opinion to yourself and not bother posting.

I suspect Soutra was only saying what quite a few others were thinking.

Quite! The anxiety seems to be more risk than the cancer. Get some treatment for your anxiety state!

Some people respond to lots of sympathy, some to a bit of straight talking. Ethel has shown in the past that the more soft soap that people give her the more she suspects that they are just humouring her and not telling her the dreadful truth. Soutra is administering a dash of cold water to wake ethel up out of the slough of pessimism and self-pity and get her to see the information she has been given more clearly.

You got an all-clear at your last appointment, ethel. You have had a serious op - but you came through it fine. For goodness sake stop acting like a Victorian heroine going into a decline and start rebuilding your life that has been on hold since the begiining of this diagnosis - no since the beginning of the merest suspicion that you might get this diagnosis. If anxiety keeps creeping up on you, then go to your GP and get medication for it.

You are always saying how independent you are. Now is the time to use that strength.

Really? A dash of cold water and a demand that she 'get a grip'.

Luckily I've only had two benign skin cancers but my OH had cancer and my son is now in remission.

All your fears and worries are normal ethel. Cancer is one big b------. Not only that but there are all the tests, unfamiliar hospital surroundings, the operation, the list goes on.

The cancer teams know all about these fears and worries so lean on them Ethel, tell them your worries, they're trained to deal with it and TG for them and keep posting - a trouble shared is a trouble halved.

A good post Falcon

Thanks Anya.

Been there, done that, got the tee shirt. What ethel is feeling is how we all felt, the only difference being that most us felt exactly what she is feeling for a long time BUT we kept it to ourselves and only admitted that dread to ourselves at 2/3/4 am. When with family,friends etc we were always positive and upbeat. Anyone who has had cancer and wasn't scared to death is not being truthful and those feelings catch up, unawares, for years. Those first few reviews were the most scary visits to make with many a sleepless night beforehand so ethel go, get it over, and then relax. It will get better.

So have I, annsixty I have had cancer, and I lost my husband to it. I have been round the loop twice.

But having seen already how ethel always thinks the worst in any situation and how she doesn't believe good news even when she hears it from the horse's consultant's mouth, I repeat that as well as reassurance (she is getting more of that than any worried poster ever on GN) she also needs an occasional reminder that everyone is actually both working hard to get rid of it and being transparent with her about her results.

I agree that the best people to tell about her anxiety are her consultant and her GP. They have the means to make her feel better about the whole thing.

I agree Elegran and I did post earlier that it was time she started to see the glass half full instead of half empty as she always does. However we are unlikely to change her attitude so perhaps we shouldn't try.

I think there is a theory that pessimists are the survivors. My son in law says to me Why all this negativity? But it's a primitive response rather like the tribes who call their children names like ugly and wicked so the bad spirits will not want them and won't come and take them away. Etheltb is voicing her worst fears so they won't happen. She has already got a grip .IMO

ethel is by nature anxious and it is probably manageable most of the time - but this diagnosis and treatment has understandably triggered a more acute anxiety. Get some help with it ethel - my friend is in a similar situation and she has been given something to curb the anxiety. She now leads a full, anxiety-free life. This could be the same for you if you talked to your GP and asked for some help. Do give it a try.

You say that your fears haunt you at night.
I think that everyone, for some reason, is more fearful at night. And it seems to me, that most people cant do anything about that.
I may have said before, that I ignore all thoughts at night. Well actually, that includes the ones as I am going to sleep, and all those before breakfast too! They are rubbish. So I have trained myself to ignore them.