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cancer

(312 Posts)
etheltbags1 Tue 28-Apr-15 21:41:14

I have on many occasions asked for advice on these forums but this time it is really serious, my cancer is not responding to chemo and has not been killed in my lymph glands. Any advice how to cope with this situation, I don't feel ill or weak or ready to depart this life and will fight with all guns blazing but what can I say to myself in the small hours when I am scared.

Luckygirl Fri 03-Jul-15 08:28:34

But you are not suffering from a treatable anxiety state soon. This is in a different league. Most people have got past the "mind over matter", "pull yourself together" attitude.

annsixty Fri 03-Jul-15 08:44:57

If only soontb if only.

soontobe Fri 03-Jul-15 09:16:35

I have never told ethel to pull herself together.

The mid over matter bit is different, and can work and does work in certain scenarios.

But I take your point if there is persistent anxiety involved.

bramblelover Fri 03-Jul-15 11:22:44

I've just come across this discussion Ethel and thought I would at a note about immunity. A couple of years ago DH had his aorta replaced - triple AAA op. In preparation it was discovered he had a tumour on his pancreas which though not cancerous could become so so it was removed. During the op his spleen was removed too. I had no idea what that meant but it means he now has no immunity. After his AAA op he remained on antibiotics for 18 months.The guideline for us was that should his temp rise above 37.5 we should go immediately to the doc or hospital emergency if it was out of hours. In all that time it has happened twice and DH admits he felt unwell but didn't want to be a nuisance!!!! but in no time his temp was reaching 40 and he started having convulsions around midnight. In the hospital I had to deal with everything in French.It could simply have been dealt with by visiting the doc for antibiotics . Now we have a thermometer like those in hospital and we know exactly what to look for. He takes no antibiotics now and life is back to normal but we have joined the 8 a day (fruit and veg) group and he loves it.We carry note of his medication with us and take no special hygenic precautions. I forget he ever had the op. Life is good and will soon be good for you again.Sorry I have gone on a bit!

etheltbags1 Fri 03-Jul-15 14:20:11

I went to the gp for a routine check up not cancer related and I remarked that I had just been told that I was cancer free and my treatment was stopped and he said something like 'for now' in a grumpy voice. so I assume they are waiting to see if any rogue cells have escaped the surgeons knife and will appear. I have check ups every 3 weeks so I guess I will know soon enough. Im still recovering from the op although almost ok I still have to be careful with lifting etc and I get very tired. I do see the point of your comments maybe I doo need a dash of cold water as someone said. lol. It would be nice in this hot weather.

Charleygirl Fri 03-Jul-15 14:47:55

ethel I can appreciate that it can be difficult when you have been told that the treatment may stop because at present you are cancer free. You unfortunately will have to get through the 5 year period but think positively- it may not return.

At least if the symptoms do return you will be on the lookout and can get an early appointment to get it sorted.

As many have said before, you have to rest, you will not get better overnight.

Judthepud2 Fri 03-Jul-15 19:10:54

I think everyone who has had a cancer diagnosis and treatment has a lurking fear of its return because the medical people never use the word 'cured'. It is easier said than done to 'get a grip'! However, my way of thinking is to be grateful for every day without the b_____d.

Check ups did tend to put me into a slight state of anxiety as I hated feeling like a patient and returning to the clinical environment brought back the fear. I've passed the 5 year milestone now and no more check ups. It is easier to put it all behind me.

Time and distance should help Ethelbags You are still recovering. Have you a Macmillan Centre near you? They provide counselling for this kind of anxiety free of charge, at least the one in Belfast does.

Deedaa Fri 03-Jul-15 21:37:16

Your GP doesn't sound the most tactful person ethel When we tell our GP that DH is responding to treatment his answer is always "That's good" smile rather than "At the moment" hmm no wonder you feel worried if you aren't getting the support you need from the GP. A dear friend of mine who had bowel cancer as a teenager has to go for regular check ups. She told me that the upside is that after each one she knows there's absolutely nothing wrong with her.

etheltbags1 Sun 12-Jul-15 21:17:23

thank you all for your kind word, next check up is 2 weeks, Im still anxious but theres nothing I can do so I may as well enjoy being off work and lazing around the garden in the fine weather.
I know that when I get back to work I will soon be grumbling that I wish I was off. (although not for the reason im off now for).

Luckygirl Sun 12-Jul-15 21:21:57

Ethel - you are beginning to sound a bit better - I do hope your anxiety treatment is beginning to kick in and make your life easier.

Ana Sun 12-Jul-15 22:08:24

Oh, have you been given treatment for your anxiety, ethel? That must be a positive step - nothing worse for your physical health than constant worrying.

I agree, you do sound perkier! smile