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COUNSELLING

(44 Posts)
mariana Tue 09-Jun-15 09:50:52

Has anyone had a course of counselling and does it really work. I have been badly depressed for a few months, and today I have a telephone asessment, then I guess I will go through to actually talking to a counsellor.

Right now, I cannot see how it will help, but I have to give it a try. I would love to know if any of you have had positive experiences through counselling.

crun Fri 12-Jun-15 23:03:01

"if any of your previous counsellors have BACP membership there is a rigorous complaint procedure "

They're all NHS. There's a one year time limit on making complaints, and it all happened decades ago. The complaint I'm drafting is about them repeatedly lying about my heart arrhythmia.

I see todays media is full of the CQC report into the prejudiced treatment of mental health patients.

mariana Fri 12-Jun-15 22:57:49

My doctor has prescibed more tablets, but keep on a smaller dose for longer. So I shall see how that goes. I really did not want to take any medication, becase so far, I am not on any other medication, but I guess that is good, as they will not clash !

whitewave Fri 12-Jun-15 20:06:09

I had a breakdown at work whilst in my early 50's, and actually have no recollection of the day itself. My DH was call ed from work to "rescue" me and he said that all I kept saying was "I do not want to be put on any drugs" over and over, so I obviously felt strongly about that. My GP arranged for me to have a number of sessions with a counsellor, and it worked! It took time and I was off work for quite a few weeks but eventually got there and there has been no repeat. I was told, which came as a complete surprise that I was very depressed. I was lucky IMO that I didn't take any drugs, and so I knew that as I felt better I WAS better and it wasn't the drugs masking anything. I am probably wrong in that opinion, but it was how I felt at the time.

Iam64 Fri 12-Jun-15 19:06:03

Yes they do TriciaF, as do the ones at the psychology department. The cuts mean they are even harder to access now than in recent years, sadly.

TriciaF Fri 12-Jun-15 15:14:49

The sessions I went to were in the psychiatric unit of a local general hospital. Perhaps these don't exist any more?

mariana Fri 12-Jun-15 13:19:50

I would love to go to group counseling, but as far as I know it is not available where I live

TriciaF Thu 11-Jun-15 16:58:49

I forgot to mention group counselling - I too had this a long time ago for an ongoing problem and found it very helpful. In fact it became almost addictive and I didn't want to stop! Made many good friends.
In the end I had to stand on my own 2 feet, but kept some of the friends.

jamummy Wed 10-Jun-15 21:51:21

hi there I had a phone assessment in November 14, a week later I had an appointment to go to group councelling for 8 weeks, after 4 weeks I was approach by the councellor and given an appointment for 1-1. I have been going on a weekly basis and it has really helped with the situations I was having, at first they allow you 8 weeks and then they can go on longer if you need it, mine went on for 20 sessions unfortunately because it was NHS funded my sessions had to end even though I still need help, I have been told I can go back in 3 months the trouble with that is if your not completely recovered you can go back to where you started. I think you should give it a try if you are offered it, some people recover quicker than others and believe me it does help even if you just talk. good luck smile

jamummy Wed 10-Jun-15 21:48:48

hi there I had a phone assessment in November 14, a week later I had an appointment to go to group councelling for 8 weeks, after 4 weeks I was approach by the councellor and given an appointment for 1-1. I have been going on a weekly basis and it has really helped with the situations I was having, at first they allow you 8 weeks and then they can go on longer if you need it, mine went on for 20 sessions unfortunately because it was NHS funded my sessions had to end even though I still need help, I have been told I can go back in 3 months the trouble with that is if your not completely recovered you can go back to where you started. I think you should give it a try if you are offered it, some people recover quicker than others and believe me it does help even if you just talk. good luck smile

TwiceAsNice Wed 10-Jun-15 17:24:43

Wow Crun you have been unlucky and had a bad time! Keep going with your complaint, if any of your previous counsellors have BACP membership there is a rigorous complaint procedure for clients to pursue and they will apply sanctions to a in incompetent/ negligent counsellor and withdraw their membership. If this happens counsellors have to comply with whatever BACP asks them to do to improve their practice before they can have their membership back. It is difficult to get work at all without some kind of professional body membership. I'm really sorry you've had a bad time. I recently saw a client who came to me after 3 disastrous encounters with other practitioners and I said how courageous he was to keep trying. He has come back to me for several groups of sessions with space in between to reflect and process the therapy and I know it has helped him because he's told me so and I can see it.

Please don't give up, there is a person out there who can help you. Counselling can and does work for many people . It is the counsellors job to try and make it easier for you.

crun Wed 10-Jun-15 14:41:12

Counsellor No.1
I was referred at the age of 10 after my parents were divorced, because I was getting 'tummy ache' when it was time to go to school. I was told it would go away if I ignored it, and labelled a neurotic hypochondriac from a broken home.

The long term consequence of that diagnosis is that it has blighted my healthcare for life. After I was diagnosed with a heart arrhythmia they denied it for 22 months, telling me that they'd never seen any arrhythmia even after I given them my own copy of an ECG.

Counsellor No.2
This bloke was the one I got most sense from, but he left the job after a few weeks. Before he went, he told me why he was quitting: "I'm fed up of the way the patients are patronised, and fed up of pretending we're helping when we know we aren't". He explained how they think that they can cure people by convincing them that they just need to view their problems rationally, when in reality they are quite capable of seeing their situation rationally as it is. Pretty much exactly what Smail argues.

Counsellor No.3
This one was a complete drip. After a year of saying "mmm" every time I opened my mouth, he said:

"Well, do you think you're any better?"
"Do you?"
"Er......y-yes...........so, do you?"
"No"
"Well I'm discharging you, if you want any more you'll have to go back to your GP."

Three down, one to go.

Counsellor No.4
She just sat there smirking like a Cheshire cat, and thwarting any rational conversation by being systematically obtuse. I walked out after I had to sit at work listening to staff repeating what I had said to her. She was also trying to suggest that my parents had been abusing me.

No.5?
The advocate that I've been allocated to assist in making a complaint is an Ex-NHS mental health worker. Apart from defending the NHS and watering down my complaint at every opportunity, she was doing what people like that do best: trying to manipulate me into thinking that I'm deluded about the events that I'm trying to complain about.

TwiceAsNice Wed 10-Jun-15 12:49:40

Mariana I'm sorry you are depressed, Depression is an illness and you need to source some treatment for it like you would with any other illness. I am a trained counsellor, I work for the NHS and an adolescent counselling service so see clients from age 10 up. I am registered and accredited with BACP and have professional indemnity insurance. This is expected within the NHS and if you decide to see a private counsellor they should also have all these in place in order to practise and would have no problem in proving that to you.

Unfortunately anyone can set themselves up as a private counsellor with the minimum of qualifications and experience and this is why the government has said all counsellors should be registered by next year to be able to work. Most reputable counsellors belong to a professional body and all should have regular monthly clinical supervision so their work is monitored. There are other professional bodies beside BACP but it is one of the most well known. It expects it's counsellors to abide by its code of ethical guidelines which is in place to protect the client.

Counsellors should have a minimum of a post graduate diploma to be fully trained and many ( like myself) have a Masters in counselling and there are many theoretical orientations to choose to train in. Many counsellors then go on to have further training in a specialism they are interested in( mine is in Bereavement). Go back to your GP and find out how long you will have to wait for your sessions, the person who you initially saw is probably an assessor who will now pass you on to a counsellor colleague in your local primary mental health support service (in the NHS) and most places have a waiting list of at least several weeks but you will be seen. and the counsellor should contact you directly when an appointment is available.

No matter how the counsellor is trained the most important part of the sessions is the client/counsellor relationship and you need to build up trust with your counsellor for it to work for you. If you do not feel comfortable and " click" with them do not be afraid to ask to see someone else. Also antidepressants can work well in tandem with therapy and research has shown that both together work better for depression than either on their own so discuss a change or increase of medication with your GP at your next consultation. I imagine the one you are currently taking is Sertraline but there are several others to try, sometimes you need to try more than one before you feel they are helping you, you will know when it is working you will realise your mood has lifted enough to help you cope better day to day and increase your motivation/concentration and zest for life. Good luck try a few adjustments and see what happens. Am happy to speak with you if you would like to pm me.

Mishap Tue 09-Jun-15 22:28:35

It was probably Sertraline. I did not last one day on it as I was sitting around retching! But I know others who have felt very well on it.

I have been given a different type of anti-depressant and am OK on it. I have had to gently build up the dose and work out the best time of day to take it for me - but I got there in the end. It felt pretty slow though!

Worth discussing with GP and seeing if there is one that will suit you better - I really do think the key is to start on a minute dose and build it up very gradually so your body can adapt to it.

I do hope that you will start to feel better soon. flowers

mariana Tue 09-Jun-15 22:15:33

Thanks so much to everyone for taking the time to comment. I eventually had my assessment today, with some problems along the way. She said she is referring me for counselling, although I thought that had been done already. But it will be at least a month. This is with the NHS, as I could not afford to pay. i wonder if it is worth trying another antidepressant. the last one I took, made me feel worse, and I cannot bear the thought of feeling worse than i am now. I need to see my GP again.The one I was taking was called SER........I think, cannot remember the name.

petallus Tue 09-Jun-15 22:07:16

Yes Ana it was private treatment.

Much more difficult if you have to rely on the NHS.

The other day I came across people collecting for a charity which provides counselling for soldiers traumatised after serving in Afghanistan. Some are suicidal. The government gives them no help at all and the charity provides private sessions at a cost of £40 each.

TriciaF Tue 09-Jun-15 21:27:07

The counsellor should definitely have qualifications.
As someone said there are different styles. Cognitive behavioural therapy, and its variations, seems to be the main one in vogue at the moment. In a way it does offer practical solutions, you're give a target to achieve for the next session, aiming to help the personal to have more control over their feelings. There's usually a time limit for number of sessions.
Another type is pure behavioural therapy, used especially for phobias. Then there was the Rogerian approach, which gives the person a gentle lead to ramble on and work things out for themselves, with validation from the therapist. And also different types of psychoanalysis, which can take years.

Ana Tue 09-Jun-15 19:37:11

But petallus, was that private treatment? I wouldn't have thought you had much choice under the NHS.

FlicketyB Tue 09-Jun-15 19:31:34

I thought that what Counsellors essentially did was listen to you and gently guide the discussion so that you began to see the possible solutions for yourself and then make the decision as to which solution was best for your well-being.

Mishap Tue 09-Jun-15 17:19:48

There are lots of different therapies offered by counsellors and you need to see if this approach is right for you, and if not you can look elsewhere, although you may have to pay.

I am sorry that you are depressed - I too suffered a depressive illness late last year and early this year and have got it under control with a small dose of anti-depressant. The therapy that I was offered (CBT) did not prove at all helpful to me, although others have found it useful; but I do know that there are many other therapies that might have been helpful, but are not available on the NHS here.

petallus Tue 09-Jun-15 16:36:28

My therapy was very helpful.

It's easy enough to get a bona fide counsellor if you know how.

Either go for someone registered with the BACP or the British Psychological Society if you want someone with a background in psychology.

crun Tue 09-Jun-15 16:01:13

I thought David Smail hit the nail fairly and squarely on the head.

Eloethan Tue 09-Jun-15 14:12:02

mariana About eleven years ago I was quite depressed about work - I was in a job that I didn't enjoy and which I didn't feel I was doing particularly well. So it wasn't as serious an issue as some of the posters on here have experienced but nevertheless it was causing me a great deal of anxiety. My GP arranged for me to have a course of counselling - seven sessions I think.

I found it enormously helpful just to be able to speak freely to someone who actually listened properly and didn't keep breaking in with their views and advice (I think it is always a temptation to try and fix things for people, but counsellors are trained to listen attentively and help you to reflect on the things you say, rather than give you their opinions).

I do hope you will consider counselling - it is certainly worth a try and you may find it very helpful. As others have said, you need to "click" with your counsellor - if you feel uncomfortable with her/him it is best to try and find someone else.

HildaW Tue 09-Jun-15 12:45:39

mariana, I have been seeing a lady (recommended by my GP - they had employed her at our local practice until the funds were reduced). She is a qualified psychotherapist (plus a few other things) and she leans towards a branch of Mindfulness called ACT. I have found it very useful - yet its difficult to exactly put my finger on what she has actually done for me. Depression and anxiety are such 'catch all' labels that sometimes the more you dig the more there is to find and understand.

For example I was depressed and yet once we started to have our sessions it soon became clear to me that I had every reason to be a mass of emotions and just calling it depression was stopping me getting to grips with it. I had dealt with a lot in my early life and was now going through some more very trying stuff and as 'my lady' explained I should feel down, tired and very unhappy as that was what these particular experiences would be likely to do.

Anyway will not go into boring detail enough to say that after years of going up and down, coping sometimes and not coping on others I now feel I have had some very good sessions that have enabled me to understand my emotions better, rationalise them and bring some strategies into play when I need them - although the later does take practise.

I'd recommend it but with the obvious proviso that you have a word with GP...and then be properly advised as to the qualities of a councillor that will be pertinent to you.

Good luck.

grannyactivist Tue 09-Jun-15 12:21:03

Hello mariana, I'm sorry you're experiencing depression right now. Counselling/therapy can be very helpful, but one of the most important aspects of successful counselling is the relationship between you and the counsellor; you need to be comfortable with and trust that person. There are very many theoretical approaches to counselling; as a trainee counsellor I chose to have extensive training in Person-Centred Counselling and Gestalt Therapy and lesser training in other approaches, but in practice I used a range of different theories and methods. One type of counselling may suit you better than others. I would also strongly endorse what ffinnochio has said about finding someone who is registered with BACP, but also try to find a counsellor who is under regular supervision. I stopped counselling when I moved away from my regular supervisor as I think it's really important for counsellors to be subject to another's trained opinion.

Meercat Tue 09-Jun-15 12:02:40

I have benefitted from counselling but I would strongly echo ffinnochio and recommend that you work with a registered counsellor. The BACP website offers a register of qualified practitioners and each gives some brief details of their specialisms, approaches and qualifications.

The counsellor I saw offered an introductory session which allowed me to explain what I was hoping to achieve and her to explain how she worked and what I could or could not expect.

I don't believe it is the case that any counsellor will fit any situation. Different approaches may work better for some people or some issues than others. You need to explore the situation a little before committing yourself.

On the issue of practical solutions, the counsellor I saw did not hand out practical guidance or instructions. Her role was to help me explore issues and my own history for myself. However, I recognise that this might vary depending on the form of counselling and the nature of the issues to be explored.