Every single one of my smear tests has been painful. All have come back clear. Years ago, when they used metal speculums, and after long-lasting and incredibly painful ferreting about in my insides, it was decided I had a backward-sloping womb, and a sensible nurse found a differently shaped speculum which did the trick and got a sample very quickly.
That relief didn't last long. Last time I had a test, disposable plastic speculums were used and it was obvious that one size should fit all. The last smear test a few years ago was so difficult, painful and long-lasting that I vowed I would never have another one done. The nurse tried over ten times to get a sample, and her orders to "relax and let my knees flop" eventually dried up as it was apparent all her digging around inside was causing me pain, anxiety and certainly not hitting the spot. She was becoming flustered too. She apologised after the tenth attempt....and I asked if they had a bolster or pillow so I could raise and tilt my hips from the bed. There wasn't one, so with much difficulty I held my hips and raised my bottom off the bed, at an angle, and the speculum was delivered to the cervix.
What a painful and humiliating palava.
I have since learned the doctor/practice gets a financial bung if tests of various sorts are carried out.
I see the nurse regularly for various procedures and each time I am told a smear test is due. I am almost scolded for not taking up the offer there and then and making an appointment. I really am getting fed up with all the insistance that I should have one. Whatever happened to the freedom to choose? I know the nurses are only following orders but on nights out with my girlfriends we discussed this, and I was relieved that my friends, three of whom work in medical fields, also resented the insistence, for financial purposes, that they should have regular tests when previous ones had come back clear.
We've all had our 60th birthdays, we don't sleep around, we aren't nymphomaniacs and we've all suffered painful (or bodged) smear tests. We are all agreed that we will not have another one, no matter how much we are pestered at the various clinics we attend.