Bad news at hospital

notoveryet Enjoy your family celebration. I may even raise a in your honour...any excuse is good enough...

notoveryet - My Dad had the same problem, for many years. They never told me about it until after he died at 84.
Mum had been told that it was good for him to eat an onion a day (cooked!) This would help with his blood in some way.
I hope this doesn't sound morbid, but it's one of the easiest ways to go!

I'm sorry to be leaning on you all so much, but I can't talk to family and friends without getting g weepy.I can't stand the thought of being without him, but I'm not enjoying this time we have together through fear. It just helps to put it down here. I did think of you all last night and we did have a lovely evening.

So glad you had a good evening. I know how hard it is to live in the moment, but we are all rooting for you.

You have insight into your feelings notoveryet

Can I make a suggestion. Just live every day as if it's your last. Within phyiscal and financial limits, go out and enjoy yourselves. Or stay in and enjoy yourselves.

Go and see family and friends more often. Ask family and friends to come and visit.

Or whatever would make you both happy. Tell DH how much he means to you and what a good life you've had together, and what a wonderful legacy you both have on the family you created together.

The worst may or may not happen. Sooner, or later or maybe never.

Not doing too well.Dh just going about normal life but I just can't. We moved to a small village about 6 months ago and I know I need to be finding new activities and friends. Dh has never been one for such things so I feel that if our time together is likely to be cut short, I should spend it with him. Am on anti depressants, just need some words of comfort, am not showing any of these feelings to him or family. Thank you all for being there.

It is very hard indeed to have to hold in your feelings all the time. Does you OH understand how you are feeling? - I know that many men would want to just soldier on without discussing it, and that can be hard in itself.

I do have some insight into how you are feeling - my OH is ill and I sometimes look at him and wonder if he will get through the day. But I do still go out and about and do stuff as otherwise life would feel quite oppressive to both of us.

You have the added problem of being in a relatively new place - I moved 4 months ago and it is slow going trying to get to know people and tap into the local activities. My OH too is not into going out and getting to know people, so I do understand.

I do think that you cannot put your life totally on hold because of this worrying news. As others have said it may never burst and he may go on to die of something completely different. I do understand however that in some ways your mind will be projecting forward to how you might feel after he has died and whether you will be able to look back guilt free. I know this is in my mind too - a lot.

But we can only be who we are and live our lives as a couple as best we may. Not many years ago, medical science was such that you would not have this piece of knowledge burning its way into your thoughts all the time; and you would have both gone on to enjoy life, and your relationship, free from such knowledge. I guess the best way forward is to try and do that - but not easy I know.

I am thinking of you and hoping that you will in time come to feel more at ease.

Excellent advice given by Luckygirl just be aware that we are always here to talk to, thinking of you too

Notoveryet you're in an uncomfortable situation aren't you and I'm sure there are times you wish you didn't know about what might happen. Luckygirl has made a very good post and I feel it would be beneficial for you to get to know some neighbours and local activities as they will help you in the future. Easy for me to say I know, as I'm not in your position, but it's only been a couple of weeks since you were told and you must still be in shock. You're probably grieving for your DH too which will be confusing as he's still with you. Enjoy your time together creating happy memories for the future

Thank you, I read the post from Luckygirl this morning and felt very supported and encouraged. Had my hair done this morning and a little wander round the village and feel better for it. I am currently looking for local organisations and my immediate neighbours have been very welcoming, I think I shall have a bit of a drive to clubs etc but time will tell. My very best wishes to you Luckygirl and heartfelt thanks for your supportive post.

notoveryet your news is still fairly new, every day you will feel a lttle stronger so go easy on yourself. Bet your hair looks great

notoveryet I'm so very sorry your having to deal with this. As a family we are living under a similar threat. I know the feeling of having this hanging over you. It makes it hard to be positive. In someways it may be easier if everything was out in the open but if the person concerned wants to carry on as normal then that's their decision and has to be respected and adehered to. When we're with her we pretend all is well and carry on as normal, except we put much more effort to everything we do. Things I may not have done before the diagnosis we now happily join in with.It's exhausting though and worse for you because I can get a break when we come home. It's the overwhelming fear I find hard,it's raised my anxiety levels to breaking point at times. So I think your feelings are normal and I hope you can get some support. We do everything we can to let her enjoy the life she has and make good memories to sustain us if or when the worse happens. I'm so glad you've found the support here helpful. Gransnet at its best.