Mental health - when and where to get help?

For those who are waiting for CBT I can recommend Paul Gilbert's book, 'Overcoming Depression': a self-help guide using cognitive behavioural techniques.

HI. I registered a while ago, but forgot my password. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for over twenty years and can't thank myou doctor enough for prescribing me anti depressants.. Mental illness often needs medication as much as a physical Illness. A diabetic isn't ashamed of taking insulin, so why should someone with anxiety or depression feel reticent about taking the appropriate medication. Sure there are some side effects if one doesn't get the tablets which suit one's individual needs, but my sister who has MS suffered a lot of side effects before her MS medication was right for her. Also counselling won't work if you are in such "a bad place" that you are too low to talk, or to even drag yourself out of the house to your counselling sessions. My tablets stabilised me so I could get the most out of my counselling sessions. For the first few appointments I just sat and wept, but when the tablets kicked in i was able to talk to my counsellor and start using some of the strategies she suggested to deal with panic attacks andfits of deep depression the latter being much much worse than "feeling a bit unhappy". So go to the doctor before doing anything else. You'll feel a little bit better just by talking to a professional who has seen it all before.

You could be under the weather ? If so perhaps 24 hours in bed mostly asleep might do the job? If you can't do this? Book a weekend away ...coast /country?
Or lastly try a pleasent walk ..park, woods , coastal! Take time to enjoy the simple things !

Good news holdthetonic - so glad that you are on stream to get the help that you need - I do hope that it does the trick and that your life will soon be on the up.

In case anyone is interested here's a quick update on my situation.
I saw the GP and he was v helpful and has suggested CBT. Not surprisingly there are long waits to see anyone either on NHS or privately. However, I've started having some telephone counselling which is available via DH's private medical insurance so that should help whilst I'm waiting for my CBT appointment.
THANK you all again for your support.

Excellent advice, grannyactivist.

I've suffered clinical depression for all my adult life and I've had a couple of very serious wobblies. There is no magic wand, but the condition can be managed. However, the way I manage it is probably not the right way for others. The trouble with giving advice is that people can end up feeling a failure if it doesn't work. Some people feel very strongly that one method or other is the right way and can end up making others feeling that they didn't try hard enough, whether it be mindfulness, CBT or whatever.

Nevertheless, there is some excellent advice on here. One thing I would say, holdthetonic, is that you're already part-way to helping yourself, because you've already identified what's causing you to feel low. A CBT therapist would probably tell you to address those issues, while a mindfulness therapist would probably tell you to try and appreciate the 'here and now' by savouring moments which make you happy. You could end up spending a fortune on therapists to explore your issues only to be told what you already know.

Medication can and does help, but it can't solve problems. ADs work best when you get so low that you can't get to the situation you're in now, but see a GP and be totally honest about how awful you feel. If there's a GP in your practice you feel might be more sympathetic than others, it might be worth hanging on a bit longer to see him/her.

Positive vibes to you, holdthetonic

This is exactly what I have been trying to convey ga - TBH I know that without the medication I was given two years ago I might not be here now. My dear relatives were supporting me with everything they had and I was surrounded by love and care - but that could not make things better, because I was ill. All the patience and talking therapies in the world cannot cure someone with severe depression.

Diagnosis is the key. Let us hope that the OP is just going through a difficult life patch - but no-one on here can know that and our job is to encourage her to get a proper diagnosis.

ga - I am sorry that you have the worry of a sick relative and I hope that the proper help will be forthcoming.

Well said, ga. for you and your poorly relation.

I've stayed off this thread because it's too close to home at the moment. I have a very near and dear relative who has been suffering from depression for four years. Deep, dark overwhelming depression. The sort where staying alive every day is a struggle.

He believes in self-help, as do his family insofar as it's possible, but we were beside ourselves when well meaning friends 'encouraged' him by telling him not to 'resort' (verb: turn to and adopt (a course of action, especially an extreme or undesirable one ) to medication. Instead, mindfulness, counselling, St. John's Wort and yoga were all recommended by people who thought they knew what was needed. Meanwhile, those of us who do know him really well were desperate for him to see a GP and were praying that he would get medication. He finally, and with great reluctance, did go to his GP and was given antidepressants.

Recently things have been so bad that he asked his family to step in and help him to stay alive. After intervention from family members he has now been seen by a specialist mental health team: they have prescribed a different medication, long-term intensive CBT with a very senior clinical psychologist, a full psychiatric review, and he's also been deemed in need of regular supervision from the Mental Health Professional at his surgery. All much to the surprise of his friends who are now saying how shocked they are because they didn't realise that things were so serious!

My point is that however well meaning we might be, a GP is usually the person most qualified to assess and diagnose appropriate courses of action for someone presenting with symptoms of depression or anxiety. Go and see your GP holdthetonic, then come back on here and tell us how we can help you to keep your head above water.

Healthy Minds are brilliant and might really help you. You could just ring them no referral needed from a doctor. Self referral.

Retiring is a huge life change. You need some one to talk over with your how you are going to build a life that gives you the same satisfactions. Yes your GP may help but I do not think you will be top of the list.. I suggest you find a therapist who uses brief counselling methods so that you can look at what's worth while and how to build a life that brings you satisfaction.

One place to look is on the Institute of Human givens Site
www.hgi.org.uk/find-therapist

Perhaps it's a wee bit unfair to use the old phrase "mother's little helpers". Things have moved on considerably since the valium usage of the seventies and eighties. Today's ssri's are a different kettle of fish altogether, thank goodness.

Thank goodness we never have to go back to a time before medicine was available , when you could die from a scratch or a chest infection . I despair at the anti medication brigade , it is not `giving in` or being weak fgs ! holdthetonic go to the GP , they will know from experience if you are truly depressed or just need to make some lifestyle changes .
The St Johns Wort you buy from `health food shops` is also man made/altered , how do you think it ends up in those little bottles !

I'm finding all this advice really helpful and interesting. Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I'll update you on what happens.. in case anyone is interested !

Got to agree with Elrel, keep on GN you will get annoyed you will get angry but you will soon realize that their is a lot of sadness and the forums will also be help full in the simplest of ways.

Crafticat - it depends where you live
Candlefran. - it depends upon the doctor

Generalisations don't really help.

Wishing holdthetonic and everyone with similar concerns all the best. Gransnet can often provide huge and varied support and encouragement.

Sorry to hear u are feeling down keeping active always helps plus joining a group. Sticking to activities that gave you a buzz when you were feeling well is best. So if singing was your thing try and join a choir etc or contacting friends for a natter. For some of us working on a DIY project lifts our mood a nice yellow bedroom perhaps. The main thing is to share your concerns and to take baby steps to improve your mood. Best of luck.

Would speak to your GP, hopefully she/he is a good one. As for anti-depressants, I found they didn't help at all. Gave me shaky hands and made me feel more on edge. Tried private counsellors, wasn't helpful as found them rather wet. The one that worked for me was an NHS online CBT course that I accessed through GP. Had regular contact with psychologist at local hospital. Practical, helpful.

Hear, hear Nanna58!

PS anti depressants have literally made my life liveable , anyone who does need them don't ever feel weak or as if you are not 'trying hard enough' , no one would suggest a diabetic manages without insulin , mental health drugs are no different.

Have had depression on and off since 17. It's a funny beast, there have even hard times in my life and yet I've not been depressed, then at times when life was good I have been in the blackest despair . It may well be circumstance that is making you low, but if things worsen or continue do see your gp. Ask your family to keep a check, I don't always notice if I'm sliding towards a bout, but my daughter in particular picks up on it ( it takes DH a bit longer, natch! )

Some people find it hard to get counselling either because of a long waiting list or they feel too shy to talk to a stranger. When I found myself in this position I took some time out to imagine what I would advise if a friend was in the same position. It's especially difficult dealing with children who are becoming teen-agers. You need to be a bit selfish and take your mind off things
I joined a choir and whilst not a great singer found it didn't matter when you sing with a group and helped me back off a little I'm my children's lives and made me less anxious

Nobody is talking anti-medication. But it's too easy to just dish out the 'Mothers' Little Helpers' .

Some GPs might be more cautious and offer alternative advice, which often tallies with other self-help advice on this thread, but too many just reach for the prescription pad still. Some anti-depressants actually raise the risk of suicide,

It is very dangerous to swing into automatic anti-medication mode. Most people on here are not medically qualified. Self help is fine once the GP has made a clear diagnosis; and the OP has made the sensible decision to speak to her GP before doing anything.

radicalnan - have you stopped to think how those who have to take anti-depressants or whose lives have been saved by them feel when they read posts like yours which make them feel bad about their life-saving treatment? Sadness can be cured with self-help; mild depression can be cured with a combination of self-help and medication; serious depressive illness is not going to respond to self-help alone. Thousands of people with serious depression die by their own hand. Are you prepared to be responsible for that by encouraging people to by-pass a proper diagnosis?

I agree with BlueBelle. Counselling can be very helpful. A good, professionally (BAC) qualified person - i.e. one who has studied for years rather than days or weeks to qualify! - will allow you to see the wood for the trees and make your own decisions as to how best to move forward. Your GP can get you a referral which, if not free, will certainly cost you a lot less!

I had (post divorce) problems with my then teenage son. The counsellor saw us together. He felt treated like an equal by her. It made all the difference in the world to our relationship, and I shall always be grateful for her careful and sensitive handling of what was a difficult situation. N.B.If one counsellor doesn't suit you, get a referral to another.

Good luck and take care. Things will get better!