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Mental health - when and where to get help?

(79 Posts)
holdthetonic Mon 14-Nov-16 15:52:49

For the past few weeks I've been feeling increasingly miserable and low. Perhaps I'm depressed I don't know - perhaps I'm suffering from SAD. I'm having problems with my DD (12) and DH (69) plus I'm no longer working which is making me feel v lonely.

Should I go to my GP ? Should I just go to a counsellor - perhaps Relate? Should I contact Mind? How low do you have to get before getting help ?
(I did once see a counsellor to discuss anxiety (he was recommended by the GP) but it was SO awful and counsellor seemed so anxious that it was actually funny)

Really hope someone can advise. Thank you x

Anya Mon 14-Nov-16 16:02:00

Everyone will have a different opinion holdthetonic (love the name!) but this is just mine.

I've struggled with some devastating things in m life and felt very low at times. I've never resorted to pills despite everything. Try some self-help first.

Up your Vit D. Get outdoors and walk (or run or cycle) in other words MOVE.

Make plans. Having something to go or look forward to is very important.

If you are lonely then you must find company...you'll be given lots of good ideas for that on here I expect.

NannaM Mon 14-Nov-16 16:25:41

Hi holdthetonic! You have the right to feel well, both in mind and body. If you had an infection, you would probably be prescribed antibiotics. If you're needing antidepressants they too have a place in your wellness arsenal. Imho start with a visit to your GP, call whatever sources ar available in your area, and treat yourself with love and respect. True depression is not something you can "snap out of". And tbh not all counsellors are created equal, so if one doesn't work, ask for another. Don't give up on yourself! flowers
Ps. Sad rainy wintery days don't help either!

Jane10 Mon 14-Nov-16 16:32:38

I don't know if its something you've resorted to but beware of the effect of alcohol on mood. Walks outside or other forms of exercise can have a very positive effect. I do hope you feel much better soon. You're not alone with GN!

thatbags Mon 14-Nov-16 16:42:32

I think you should go see your GP, htt. It can't do any harm and could be very helpful.

In the meantime (and afterwards) keep chatting on here when you feel lonely.

All the best flowers

Luckygirl Mon 14-Nov-16 17:33:34

Sorry you are feeling low - do not hesitate to go to the GP if it continues. No point in suffering if help is available.

Mumsy Mon 14-Nov-16 17:51:23

Contact Mind they are excellent and will point you in the right direction.

TriciaF Mon 14-Nov-16 18:07:50

I think the fact that you have just given up work is very important. It has been a major change in your life, and you need to get something else to take its place. Less demanding, but making you feel needed.Try to find some voluntary work related to the job you used to do.
There's no need to think you have a mental health problem, when it's related to something practical, like adjusting to a major change in lifestyle.
Others might disagree, but I'm very uncomfortable with this recent trend to attribute any unhappiness to mental illness.

Luckygirl Mon 14-Nov-16 18:26:34

You can in fact do a questionnaire online that helps to define whether you are suffering from depression and need to see the doc. It is not to be taken too seriously but might help point you in the right direction. www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/depression.aspx

eddiecat78 Mon 14-Nov-16 19:15:36

There is something called IAPT (improving access to psychological therapies). I believe this is nationwide but in my area (Warwickshire) you can self-refer (without going through GP) and they will assess you and decide which sort of therapy would be more helpful to you. It`s all free. Might be worth you seeing if this is available in your area.

Jane10 Mon 14-Nov-16 19:15:43

I don't think you're wrong TriciaF

holdthetonic Mon 14-Nov-16 19:17:32

Oh what wonderful wonderful replies. THANK YOU so much everyone of you.! Really really helpful. flowers to you all. (Brief reply as I'm just about to cook supper).

mumofmadboys Mon 14-Nov-16 19:21:44

I think you should visit your GP in the first instance and go from there. Hope you feel a little brighter soon.

Luckygirl Mon 14-Nov-16 19:42:30

IAPT - I tried accessing the info about the nearest services to me and they said they were in another county, 25 miles away and the service they were suggesting was for people with Learning Difficulties - brilliant!

gettingonabit Mon 14-Nov-16 20:49:30

It seems to me that you're experiencing a multiplicity of problems at once, which may have tipped you into a state of mind which is unsettling.

I'd definitely see your GP. You won't be wasting his/her time.

I felt I may have been depressed a while back due to relationship problems. A problem with the taxman turned me into a gibbering wreck. I never see the doc, but I did on this occasion and was glad I did. She diagnosed me with "stress", suggested St John's Wort and plenty of fresh air and exercise. I also had some Cbt. I wasn't depressed though, which I was glad about.

I think a pp is right-there is a tendency nowadays to diagnose sadness as depression when it isn't.

Hope you feel better soon. flowers.

Luckygirl Mon 14-Nov-16 21:11:20

It is important to distinguish between sadness and depression as they are in a different league, which is why people have advised the OP to speak to her doctor who will be in a position to make that distinction and set her off in the right direction for getting better.

BlueBelle Mon 14-Nov-16 21:34:24

Holdthetonic while you are waiting to see the doc or whatever you decide is your need, you cannot go wrong to get yourself on St Johns Wort herbal tablets they really do help they really do
I went very low when my Dad then Mum then job went in the same year I wasn't sure if it was depression shocked low or what but st Johns Wort lifted me They don't work immediately but nor do anti depressants and I prefer not to use manmade tablets if I can avoid it

cornergran Mon 14-Nov-16 22:07:48

holdthetonic it's not surprising you are reacting to life events and stresses, I believe it's hard if not impossible to self assess for depression. You may be unsettled, worried and missing work, or you could have slid into depression. Either way you may need some help to come out the other side so do go and speak to your GP, they won't be surprised and can help you decide if they can offer anything both helpful and acceptable to you.

Luckygirl Mon 14-Nov-16 22:12:05

St John's wort interferes with other anti-depressants so best not to take it till you have seen the GP.

BlueBelle Tue 15-Nov-16 05:03:49

It's better than taking man made chemicals and well worth a try first if there are reasons for sadness,( reactive)it is very different from clinical depression It sounds as if Holdsthetonic has some big problems going on including unemployment, and relationships with both child and husband counselling would certainly help to clear her mind ( Don't be put off by one counsellor there will be many good ones who you can relate to ) and St Johns Wort to boost her mood
In my opinion people are given anti depressant like smarties when they visit a GP most GPs don't have always have a good knowledge of mental health but obviously can sign post you to other areas of help I have known Gps give young girls anti depressant when their relationships break up ( a natural happening that they need to learn to deal with themselves)

mumofmadboys Tue 15-Nov-16 05:44:36

St John's wort interacts with a lot of medications and shouldn't be taken without advice.

Azie09 Tue 15-Nov-16 08:33:38

Anti depressants are unfortunately a cheap answer to overloaded GPs. I've used St John's Wort and also 5htp which is sold as Serotone or similar in Holland and Barratt. People do forget that prescribed medications also have lots of side effects! I found both above very useful.

I also tried the IATP service, it appeared to be very efficient in that I got an answer quickly in the form of a phone call from a young woman who took me painstakingly through a long questionnaire to find out if I was depressed. I did then get 6 weeks of counselling at my GP practice from a very good counsellor. However, as he agreed, 6 weeks wasn't really long enough but that was the deal!

I have found that the thing about counsellors is you have to find one who is qualified and who does the kind of therapy that works for you and also who you get on with. I too have come across one or two whose counselling was the kind of thing I could have done!!

vampirequeen Tue 15-Nov-16 09:55:48

You need to see your GP.

Luckygirl Tue 15-Nov-16 10:04:06

Once again I say that there is evidence that St John's Wort is not to be taken without due care and advice from the doctor. If the GP diagnoses someone as having clinical depression then they will be a bit tied when it comes to deciding what to give someone who is already taking SJW, so they may miss out on proper treatment while they wait for the SJW to leave their systems.

Depression is not be tinkered with - it can be a fatal illness.

I do not know whether it is true that anti-depressants are given out "like smarties" by GPs - that seems to me to be an excessive generalisation that might put people off getting the help they need. One important factor here is the absence of other therapies available on the NHS, so GPs are a bit tied when trying to help someone.

GPs do on occasions actually advise people to try SJW, but you need that proper advice and assessment first.

In the context of an online forum, erring on the safe side is always to be preferred to indiscriminate advice in the absence of proper professional assessment.

holdthetonic Tue 15-Nov-16 10:12:42

I will contact the GP as you all suggest. I've looked into IAPT and found something similar in my county - and you can self refer. So thank you for that suggestion.
You're all absolutely right about the psychological benefits of exercising and getting outside. I actually do quite a lot of exercise. I do keep myself busy (voluntary work, classes) but everything feels that it's a displacement activity to fill the time.
I think the problems are (in no particular order) 1: loneliness (by no longer working) 2. difficult relationships with and between DH and DD, 3: Menopause, 4: the feeling of having no purpose to my life.
Thanks for suggestion of St Johns Wort - I'll see what GP says - as I have IBD I don't want to do anything that could upset my dodgy tummy.
Once again I really appreciate all your support and ideas.