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fighting depression without drugs?

(56 Posts)
eddiecat78 Sat 10-Dec-16 11:13:14

I`ve had a couple of bouts of depression in the past and always worry about it coming back. Things are very difficult for me at the moment - in particular trying to settle 93 year old father into a carehome with very little support from anyone else (except husband - bless him). I can feel my mood dropping - getting more tearful and less able to concentrate on anything else.
Before this I was weaning myself off amitriptyline which I have been on for years and I really don`t want to increase the dose again or try another anti-depressant.
So please - can anyone give me some practical tips on how to buck myself up and keep going. I can`t allow myself to become really poorly as there is no-one else to support my father. And my daughter is getting married in April so I need to be well for that (at the moment I can`t work up any enthusiasm for the wedding)

sunseeker Sat 10-Dec-16 11:24:32

I too took anti-depressants for years and found them no help at all. Most therapists want you to talk about all your problems which just made me feel worse. I then found a therapist who does Solution Based therapy, which worked for me. Basically she said what is past is past, you can't change it you have to concentrate on here and now. The sessions started with listing anything that made me happy during the previous week - initially that was very hard but got easier over the weeks as I began to notice those things more. We then discussed things I could do to increase my happiness level - again very difficult to come up with anything at first and the last half hour was a hypnosis session. Now every night when I go to bed I think about anything that made me smile or happy during the day. This apparently releases endorphins in the brain. I hope you manage to feel better soon.

Mumsy Sat 10-Dec-16 11:30:18

Try a herbal remedy, there is st johns wort but you cant take that with some prescription meds. If Im feeling low I get a tonic from the chemist, one my doctor recommended is Effico. You must make some 'me' time for yourself too often when we are caring for others we forget to look after ourselves and we hit that low point and its difficult to get out of. Also try doing one positive thing each day, doesnt have to be anything major, a short walk would suffice, pace yourself and stop doing everything at once.

rosesarered Sat 10-Dec-16 11:33:41

That sounds a good idea sunseeker. ediecat I can't suggest much ( others will be along shortly with tips I hope) but I try and block all negative thoughts the second they enter my brain with a sharp 'Stop That!' To myself. It makes me smile so helps in two ways.You can either use your own voice or imagine the voice of anyone else, a parent or a strict but fair teacher from long ago.?

Luckygirl Sat 10-Dec-16 11:39:49

You can't take St JW if you are on amitriptyline; and your mood may be lowering because you have reduced the dose of amitriptyline or stopped it altogether.

My advice to you would be to go back to your GP and discuss the stress you are under. You may be better to go back to the amitriptyline while you are dealing with all these things and to only look at reducing or stopping it when you have tried other methods alongside it: e.g. counselling, exercise etc - all of which are good. If you start to feel better on these ideas then THAT is the time to reduce the amitriptyline because you have something else in its place. To just stop it with no other fallback help is not wise, especially as life is so difficult for you. The last thing you need is to be ill at this time.

Anya Sat 10-Dec-16 12:09:56

That's very good advice sunseeke

If I feel myself getting down then I do as sunseeker says and set myself little goals to do things I love doing, or even a challenge. Even something as simple as trying out a new recipe, involves looking for one, going to the shop and then hopefully enjoying the fruits of your labour produces a kind of satisfaction.

I'm feeling really bad at the moment due to illness, but writing my Christmas cards and getting them posted was a positive that help lift my spirits and drive me on to do a bit more Christmas shopping..

Also make sure your Vit D is at a good level. This tends to drop in the winter months and will make you feel under the weather and sad.

Whatever you can do to give yourself little moments of pleasure and satisfaction will gradually work.

Annierose Sat 10-Dec-16 12:28:16

Did you have contact with a mental health professional, and how helpful were they? Most mental health teams in the NHS now offer solution based therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy - like all therapies, some find them useful and some not. It may be worth asking your GP for a referral.
There is a site called MoodGym that some people find helpful.

I think that identifying what helps can be very useful, and I know that our local health walks are very popular with people who find that getting out and walking with others gives their mood a lift.

I would also say that some people with occasional depression do find that, in moments of great stress (such as the one you describe) they do find a course of the modern type of anti-depressant useful. They say that it just lifts them enough to sort out what is needed, and then they can reduce and stop. So if you struggle with any of the suggestions posters have made, don't let your experience of amitryptilline put you off. I'd also say that mental health teams have a lot of experience in talking about 7 around this.

I'd also say that organising a care home, and everything that goes with that is bound to trigger an emotional response. I wonder if you could be kind to yourself, not worry about the wedding etc. until Xmas is over & dad is settled. If you aren't feeling better, then that may be the time to talk to your doctor or take other steps.
I wish you well.

eddiecat78 Sat 10-Dec-16 16:24:41

thanks for your thoughts. I`m not going to decrease the amitriptyline any further but really don`t want to increase it. I`m also not keen to try different anti-depressants as I`ve had bad experiences with side-effects in the past - I really don`t need that at the moment. I think I do need to focus on some happier things.Going into the care-home every day is depressing in itself - it is an excellent place but obviously it does make you very aware of people nearing the end of their lives. Hopefully I will be able to visit less often as Dad settles in but at the moment I feel I can`t as he is very worried that people will forget about him.

Lazigirl Sat 10-Dec-16 16:38:04

I have an elderly parent too and it's really getting me down at the moment. I did try antidepressants once when I was very low but couldn't cope with them as they made me feel spaced out. What has really helped me is going out walking - not necessarily long walks as I'm not super fit, but try to do about 3 times a week. I also joined a meditation group, and the focus on breathing has helped a lot, particularly when I can't sleep. Friends to offload to I find are better for me than any therapist.

eddiecat78 Sat 10-Dec-16 21:46:30

Thanks Lazigirl - it`s miserable isn`t it? So many different emotions plus all the practical things you have to think about.

I am going to try to do some more walking - not very enticing in this weather though! I am lucky enough to have some very good friends who I talk to, but I don`t want them to feel I am moaning every time I see them

TriciaF Sat 10-Dec-16 22:25:38

Such a coincidence - I was going to post about this tomorrow, but it has come up now.
I've been feeling a bit low lately, as if I'm fighting depression ( had it once before.)
I go for a walk every afternoon, but recently the walks have become shorter. But today it was such a lovely sunny day decided to attempt a longer walk that I haven't done for ages, and I managed it! As Anya says, setting a target and achieving it.
And I do believe that demanding exercise has some chemical effect on the body. I've felt so different this evening.
I'm planning another walk tomorrow, just a bit longer.
Our dog, who came with me, has slept almost all the time since we got back.

Anya Sat 10-Dec-16 22:34:21

Tricia exercise is a great mood lifter. Walking, swimming, whatever suits you.

And can I add music into the mix? Happy music, music to dance to, something to sing along to, or even something that makes you cry. Sometimes listening to a sad song can help release feelings that are kept hidden but might be better out in the open.

And if all else fails, hug the dog.

Grannyknot Sat 10-Dec-16 22:34:33

I cannot recommend walking enough for mood lifting, it's so utterly therapeutic. When I walk, I make a point of taking in my surroundings, be it architecture, people, a new route, shop windows or gardens.

I'm fortunate to belong to a walking group, we walk for an hour every week, everyone who knows me knows that's my "time out".

I have the utmost respect for people who strive to overcome depression. Medication has a place, but it's not a silver bullet.

Luckygirl Sat 10-Dec-16 22:43:28

Walking as a mood lifter is not for all - my walks are more of a limp!! But I do half an hour every day regardless; and if the weather is truly awful then I limp up and down the living room whilst watching TV - pacing up and down like a pregnant father!

Jalima Sat 10-Dec-16 23:18:53

As my walking has become more of a limp that is actually frustrating me.

Today was a lovely sunny day How lovely, wherever that is
It poured with rain here all day long, a miserable day to be out.

Grannyknot Sat 10-Dec-16 23:26:30

lucky point taken, I should have said "assuming you can walk". We do have one woman in our walking group who is in her 80s, walks with a limp and is very slow. But she never misses a week. The fast walkers in the group double back and walk with the slower ones too. We walk in all weathers.

Anya Sat 10-Dec-16 23:29:01

Other forms of exercise are available.

Jalima Sat 10-Dec-16 23:33:05

I will get organised in the New Year! (doing the physio exercises at the moment).

Marmark1 Sun 11-Dec-16 09:11:14

Sun seeker,that is very good therapy,I read once,if you keep dwelling on the past and worrying about the future,your pooing on today.

SussexGirl60 Sun 11-Dec-16 09:26:45

As well as all the thing suggested so far, I'd consider an alternative therapy...like acupuncture or homeopathy. You won't need to stop the anti-d but might find you want to wean yourself off them eventually.

Anya Sun 11-Dec-16 09:31:20

You been at the cooking sherry Marmark hmm

michel55 Sun 11-Dec-16 09:32:01

when I have a bout of depression... I stop taking my painkillers...the pain is better than depression ... I then stop everything I am doing and do nothing that would upset me and for a few days get myself some treats lots of treats... smile
and it usually work because as I am now in a lot of pain... my mind is off the depression and concentrating on my pain ... and I dont say anything to anyone because pain and depression dont show any physical symptoms ....peoples give you blank look when you mention it ... I found it work for me .
So good luck and do what you want/can to overcome it

radicalnan Sun 11-Dec-16 09:34:52

I have bouts of depression that render me all but helpless. It is one of those things you can feel coming, Black Dog Churchill called it.

If you look at the amount of highly successful people who suffer you can see what a wretched, universal thing it is, I am not at all sure that anti depressants are helpful.

Life can be bloody depressing. I find it helps to think in terms of driving a car, sometimes we have to shift gears in ourselves to move things along a bit.

It isn't easy but exercise is always helpful, good food and sleep are essentials and talking to friends who know you as a person.

You can almost plan for it, get a good book and immerse yourself in that, fabulous music, work in the garden, soak in the bath, any creature comforts help, even though you don't feel like anything at all. You would take your medication so make yourself invest energy in self care.

The brain can only process so many bits of information at a time, even little things like lovely flowers in a vase are a visual and scented distraction for your mind, try and cheat depression of your full attention.

I have days when I can barely move with it and just have to think 'this too will pass' until it does.

Life can be a bitch, those things we have to contend with, and when we recognise that, our feelings are normal and acceptable and not medical and treatable, then we can let go of the idea that we have to be in control of it all.

I hope that things improve for you soon. Don't doubt your own resources for coping with it that is part of depression itself.

cookiemonster66 Sun 11-Dec-16 09:36:09

mindfulness focuses on the here and now and can help with pain and depression, look up some classes, it really helped me, and its drug free!

TriciaF Sun 11-Dec-16 09:47:27

Some people get depressed at this time of the year because of the reduced daylight hours (Seasonal ?A Depression.)