Nightmares

I was going to suggest the Menopause. I get weird, disturbing dreams (thankfully not so often now) which leave me in a state of high anxiety; heart beating out of my chest, confusion and sweating.

I've been getting them for about ten years or so. They're unpleasant and worse when I'm anxious.

Nightmares can get physical too. I remember my Mother shouting out because my father had his arm round her neck. He was fast asleep and was dreaming he was fighting a burglar. Very scary for Mum.

I was going to suggest new medicine or a change in medicines too.

Can I ask, when you are having the nightmares, what is the emotion you are feeling.

anxious? worried? fretting? concerned? Something else?

I find that when I have bad dreams, it is not the content of the dreams that is the point of my problem, it is the emotion when I am dreaming them.

Dont often have nightmares but have a brain that wont switch off.relax.slow down.tires me out.....and sort of....cant explain it...waking nightmares....?

I think nightmares come from underlying stress in your life.

Yes I agree newnanny!!

I have sleep problems too, and occasionally I have dreams that I am glad to waken from, not nightmares, but "realistic" dreams, hard to know if they are real or not when I waken, glad Im not alone with these problems, nice to "talk" about them.

I feel for you gillybob. I've often experienced this type of nightmare so much so that I've been unable to relax until I've rung the person just to make sure they're ok. Completely irrational, I know, but I do it anyway.

I think these dreams are the by product of a stressed mind. Have you tried any of the mindfulness apps?

Last night I had a nightmare about water, during the day l had taken GS age 4 for a 2nd swimming lesson, he was very distressed. On waking l thought that is it no more lessons.

At least l have a logical reason for the nightmare but l still feel really awful about the nightmare and the lesson.

I constantly dream that I have gone out or gone to work, and left my young children unattended.Now I have grandchildren, the dreams are sometimes about them, but still the same scenario.
My children are all in their thirties now, but when they were small, I remember feeling terribly guilty that I had to go on night-duty and leave them with their dad. He didn't neglect them as far as I'm aware, but there was always a niggling worry in the back of my mind, so I guess this is why I still have these awful dreams!

Sympathies GillyBob! I'm a poor sleeper too, with lots of unpleasant dreams. I've looked at some of the research on the topic and it appears that this tends to be a pattern as we age (sorry!). Pain can disrupt the various stages of sleep, truncating the lovely Delta-wave restorative stages and catapulting us into REM sleep where we dream. Therefore, it's a good idea to do what you can to sort out sources of pain. You could quite see how having some arthritic or muscular pain, for example, which was not sufficient to awaken you, might well stimulate bad dreams. Hope it improves for you!

I too would suggest meditation, writing a diary/journal and a gratitude list. Anything to clear your mind, quieten your mind. There's also the Bach flower remedy Aspen, which might help.

My sympathies too gillybob. I think I dream more than people to whom I have mentioned this subject. When I was young I had awful school related (another convent school) dreams and was afraid to sleep for fear of dreams. As a young mother I dreamt that I put the baby in a drawer and remembered days later and there was nothing there but a filleted fish. In my older age I have the sort of dreams where I wake up disturbed but can't quite remember what was in the dream. As Ankers says, the emotion is the troubling part rather then the content. A few days ago though I had a very real dream that I recall in great detail and it involved playing at the end of the garden, more like my childhood garden than where I am now, and discovering a line of graves and being concerned because I couldn't see how the bodies and gravediggers had come through our house undetected. It actually shook me up and I really wondered if it wasn't some kind of premonition. Since then I am back with the elusive dreams and just glad to still be here every morning.

I have lots of "strange dreams", people from my past, relatives that have died over the years, often the place is totally out of context. I bought a "Dream Catcher" which is hung above my bedroom doorway which has helped but I still have the odd strange dream

Thank you everyone for your responses, sympathy and helpful advice.

I am currently going through the menopause (peri menopausal) and I have been taking low dose HRT for around 8 months so that could be one explanation. My mum died in April and some of my (worst) nightmares have my mum in them or things belonging to my mum. I also have a lot of stress at work at the minute and my MS has flared up again, so perhaps that could be another reason for the bad dreams.

Some of my dreams are so bad I couldn't tell anyone for fear of them "coming true" but a couple of nights ago I dreamt that I was lying in my own coffin alive but every one around me thought I was dead and we're talking about me as though I was gone. I was trying to scream out and actually thought I was dead when I woke up (I know that sounds stupid). Last night I dreamt some young boys (whom I was supposed to be looking after) were trapped under a metal grate that was filling with water. I could actually feel them drowning and it was the most distressing thing. I was screaming for help and tugging at the grate but no one came.

Its getting to the point where I am frightened to go to sleep and I think I am going mad.

Last week I had what was probably only the fourth nightmare in my life. I was screaming in my sleep and had to be woken by my husband. The third one was only a couple of months ago.

I am also a person who thinks too deeply about things and worries about things that I have no control over and also has a fair amount of stress at work and home. I believe that it is this, along with being too warm in bed, which causes the nightmares.

I need to calm down and relax. Glad to know that I am not alone in this!