Malnutrition

NanaMac, my daughter went into rehab a year ago, I could never afford to pay so I hounded all concerned, doctors, psychiatrists , hospital -every time she was in for self harming- a charity here for vunerable women, the local alcohol support centre, police - three years ago she suffered an attempted rape -, even the Welsh Assembly , got the funding , she was so fearful of some in rehab after five weeks she discharged herself . Now I will start again , I will not give up on her as you didn't give up on your son. It is important we speak out about this illness , so many families feel forced to keep silent because of attitudes to alcoholism , no one choose to be an alcoholic .

Thank you cornergran,Mumofmadboys , Maggie.

Jalima, I feel a twit, never heard of a soup maker, my husband once said - if you were around when the wheel was invented you would have complained - suppose I am a Luddite . Soup maker it is , thank you so much.

Oh, Anniebach, I have just seen this thread and my heart goes out to you. So much wise advice has already been given, so I have nothing new to offer. I would definitely get the soup maker - many of them make smoothies as well so they are an easy way of getting goodness into a warm or cold drink that will skip down easily.

For the rest, please do make sure you take care of yourself as well as your family. You must be exhausted. My thoughts and prayers are with you, as are so many others.

Wishing Anniebach and NanaMacGeek well. Both of your children are fortunate as they have a parent(s) there for them trying so hard to support them each step of the way. I so hope they both do well.xx

Yes, jalima is right, there is a Morohy Richards soup maker that also blends. It could be useful. Annie, it makes soup making fuss free, no need to watch it at all. I haven't tried the blender but no reason it wouldn't work. There is a tough and powerful motor that liquidises vegetables in the soup. I'm really hoping your daughter can be transferred and continue to receive the care and support she needs. She has her Mum rooting for her and there will be so much that is positive as she recovers. Please take care of you, too. Sending all, the good wishes there are to you, your daughter and family.

Anniebach, like all the other posters, my heart goes out to you. We found out last year that our youngest son is an alcoholic. He was also ill and malnourished. He was discharged from hospital after two weeks detox and we brought him home to live with us. He has been living with us for a year. We have had some dark days. Our GP was useless and could offer no help, nothing! Out of desperation, we took out a large chunk of our savings and paid for him to go into private residential rehab. We have had some wobbles (lapses) since but he has gradually come back to us and has now been in recovery for 9 months. Rehab helped him, not all of the other residents were alcoholic, some were misusing drugs and food and they were 'treated' together. We are not complacent, afraid that something will trigger his drinking again. He has hardly any friends and no job but is carrying out voluntary work and studying to change his career. He has such an uphill battle, no partner, no job, living again with his parents, ashamed, his savings running out and with low self esteem. When your daughter gets through this time, she has her family to look forward to. My son goes to AA, he says it helps, I tried Al-Anon and hated it because they were about accepting the alcoholic and living with it (at least the group I went to were, there are many different groups though), I was trying to fight it. I only wish the secrecy and shame around alcoholism did not exist. It's not our son's fault, it's not your daughter's fault. If you can get help you should. Our son was so ashamed that he asked us not to tell anyone what was going on so we are also isolated. We can laugh together now though and even tease him a little. I so hope you see your daughter in recovery. There have been quite a few posts by recovering alcoholics on similar topics. It should give us both hope.

I hope she soon gets a bed in your local hospital and hope she continues to eat and drink those drinks (although they aren't the most palatable). It's good that they are keeping her in hospital in the meantime.

My soup maker can be used as a blender although I don't know how good it is and, of course, will cook and blend nutritious soups as well. I think it's a Morphy Richards; there is a thread about soup makers. I can't find it, but there are some recommendations here:
www.gransnet.com/food/soup-makers

Ginny, she was fed intravenously but is now eating some solid food and drinking ensure. She has been officially discharged but they are keeping her in waiting for a bed in our cottage hospital, I can only pray they will not want her bed before she can be moved to our local hospital, dhe is still dependant on a wheelchair . Thank you for your kind words

She is still there Annie. She has her Mum battling for her and many, many good wishes to you and to her from here.

Is she being fed intraveniously in hospital?

Anno, I long for her recovery, she was always my ray of sunshine, she was everyone's ray of sunshine, favourite grandchild, niece, cousin , my son in law was looking for something in the attic recently, he came across photographs, he said - she was just so beautiful, inside and out.

I will not give up on her. She must still be there under the medication and alcohol

Going to look up blenders on Amazon

Annie, I have just caught up with your heartfelt thread and feel so moved by your dedication to your DD and by your need for help and support which this forum has given you and that is Gransnet at its best. I wish I could hand on to you my smoothie maker which I thought would be a good idea and hardly use at all but we live too far apart, so another idea is to see if there is someone advertising one locally - either that or a blender - much the same thing if truth be told. The organisation for adult relatives of alcoholics is A-Anon at which you would not only get support but be able to lend your support to others in the same position. www.al-anonuk.org.uk/
If you already know about this, forgive me for stating the obvious. There is a related goup for teenagers - al-a-teen, but it sounds as if your GDs get all the love and support they need from you and your SiL, and probably from each other. You have done a wonderful job in bringing them up to be competent and balanced adults. I do hope your DD is admitted to your Cottage Hospital to be close to her loving and supportive family and that one day, with your help, she will shake off the shackles of alcohol addiction and that you can be a happy family again.

Yes I was reading this earlier on. A blender, shame we don't leave nearer as you could have mine, and give it a go.

my kitchen appliances consist of a cooker, hand mixer, lots of wooden spoons and a hand whisk

You need a blender. Have a look on Amazon to get the idea.

Good idea to buy one or two smoothies to see if your daughter likes them.

Annie - I'm not sure you can make a smoothie without a kitchen appliance. We have a local buy sell and swop Facebook page where its possible to post if you need something like that, often someone can pop up offering one free or for a nominal fee.
You can buy smoothies at any supermarket which might be the cheaper way of testing out whether your daughter will drink them x

Thank you for asking.

She is back in the hospital , I am praying a bed at our cottage hospital will become available and she can come back here to recuperate and have regular contact with support workers. I am so afraid she will be discharged again, she is so weak one of her cousins visited her at the weekend, had to take her to the shop in a wheelchair ,

I know this will show how stupid I am, what does one make a smoothie in? I don't use kitchen appliances, never have

Hello there Annie
thinking of you and your daughter. Do try and look after yourself , it's not easy with the anxiety about your daughter's health at the same time as your move.

How is your daughter Annie? Any better? xx

Good morning whitewave. I am ok, worried but am getting on with sorting things in the house. Thank you

annie morning! How are you?

Hi Annie I'm so sorry to read this thread. There is lots to be encouraged about, your SIL sounds so sane and understanding, your grandchildren are doing well, a nephew is looking after your daughter.

As others have said, perhaps add spoonfuls of cream or butter to anything that she will eat.

As for the AA meetings, she should go to as many different meetings as possible until she finds one she enjoys. (I'm sure you know all this).

It must be the hardest thing in the world to have a child who is alcohol dependent.

Sending you love x

A very devoted Mum and Granny

Ginny, just a Mum and Grannie doing what everyone here would do, thank you and night,God Bless.

Jalima ,we do have a local AA branch , perhaps she will attend , I will go with her if she wishes.

Gosh, you should all see my list of foods since I asked for your help and a list of your suggestions too

M0nica mentioned eating together which may help her increase the amount she takes in gradually as eating becomes less of a chore and more enjoyable in company

Do you have a local branch of AA?
I know it is difficult for an alcoholic to acknowledge that they have a problem, they could offer the help and support she needs if she will go.

I do think the GP should be made aware and be more proactive.
Alcohol depresses the nutrients you can obtain from food and perhaps a course of good vitamins is needed as well.

Look after yourself too

Annie, what a remarkable woman, mother and grandmother you are. I'm filled with admiration. Your love and pride just shine out from your words and we can see that whilst your heart may be breaking, there is plenty of hope. I'm glad you have a strong faith to give you the reserves you need right now.

I was once suffering from what was termed clinical starvation as a result of an undiagnosed condition and on Ensure for a long time. I found the vanilla the most palatable but the savoury ones quite unpleasant. She doesn't have to take the whole amount at once, but can sip it through the day. It can be warmed up and added to drinks like hot chocolate. At one stage I was even on toddler food. I think the old fashioned idea of food for the convalescent will build up her strength. Soups and milk puddings, mashed egg if she likes eggs and can stomach them, and as others have said, bananas are a complete food. Tiny amounts, tiny steps a day at a time and you will get her there.

Would she listen to relaxation/meditation CDs? I had acupuncture to boost the immune system and the occasional massage.

From your posts I read that life has dealt you some severe challenges over the years and you have risen above them every time. Your love for your daughter will carry you both through this. Don't forget to look after Anniebach!

Night, God bless. xx

Annie, take heart in the knowledge that you and yours will be in many Gnetters prayers tonight and many nights to come