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Anxiety and the famous

(58 Posts)
Daisydoo2 Mon 02-Oct-17 13:04:10

Do you think that anxiety is increasing generally or is it the latest trendy thing to have particularly for the famous. I have suffered with it for over 20 years, I have had therapy and antidepressants but it still rules my life. I can't go out unless I work myself up to it and usually the experience ruins the event. I just feel so ill. I watch on TV how the latest celebrity has overcome their 'demons' as they comfortably strut their stuff in front of a live audience and can't help wondering if it is either a lie to promote their latest book or show or that they really have found the cure... wish I knew what they have done. What do you ladies think? Any tips on how to 'pull myself together'... oh how I hate that phrase.

Iam64 Mon 02-Oct-17 13:22:24

I suspect that as with other mental health problems, there may have been some increase in anxiety because life is so busy and expectations so high. I do believe though, that greater awareness of anxiety/depression etc and changes in the way society views these things mean its more likely to be spoken of.
Many of us will have grown up with fathers who had 'bad' wars. A couple of my close friends had fathers who returned from Japanese prisoner of war camps with what would now be called post trauma. These men often had awful mood swings, were emotionally unavailable and generally were not the loving husbands and fathers they could have been. It just wasn't spoken of in the way it would be now.
Give yourself a break - pull yourself together is a phrase that helps no one.

Anniebach Mon 02-Oct-17 13:46:56

There are different levels of anxiety . People can be anxious if having a dental appointment , if the anxiety level isn't hitting the roof they go, possibly shakey and/or feeling sick, I do know of a lady who extracted two teeth with pliers rather than visit The dentist.

I was involved with No Panic from the very early days, started in 1989 by Colin Hammond who had agoraphobia , I no longer work for the charity.

There at different opinions on overcoming anxiety , pull your self together is no different to telling someone with measles to rub of the rash.

Forget the celebrities, what advice do you follow to get yourself out?

Daisydoo2 Mon 02-Oct-17 14:04:21

When I get out I look around myself, hate to say it but usually look at those older or less able than myself, and think if they can do it so can I. There is inspiration everywhere, I just need to remember this when the anxiety is in full flight. The symptoms are so strong at times it really p....es me off, not to mention the rest of the family, I just want to run home. That's why I wondered if celebrities use this as a fashion illness, they don't appear to struggle at all with it! Note to self... stop watching rubbish tv lol.

Anniebach Mon 02-Oct-17 14:29:23

Some need a degree of anxiety, they get a high from it, or they have their own coping method .

There is no this way is the only way, you have a coping strategy and it helps so why feel as you do about your thoughts, they don't hurt anyone .

It is a wretched illness and people who live with it and keep battling are not weak but very brave , good luck x

DanniRae Mon 02-Oct-17 14:48:07

Get yourself a copy of a book called "Self Help For Your Nerves" by Claire Weeks (available on Amazon). It really helped me.
Good Luck Daisy xx

Ilovecheese Mon 02-Oct-17 15:18:33

It might be that 'celebrities' have more money for therapy and other kinds of support.

paddyann Mon 02-Oct-17 15:37:58

I think you have to find what works for you,I went through a really bad period of anxiety attacks a number of years ago ,my trick was to paint on a smile and dive into whatever I had to do .I often was left sick and shaking once I'd done it but eventually the attacks became less ,I think,because I didn't let them overwhelm me .My attacks were caused by an arson attack and subsequent threatening phone calls and I felt if I gave in to them I was letting the guy who did it win.I wasn't about to let that happen.I wish you well in finding a strategy that works for you

Daisydoo2 Tue 03-Oct-17 11:00:18

Paddyann that is a brilliant idea.. i have often thought if i could Act like someone else it would help... I will start with the smile. Thank you.

Iam64 Tue 03-Oct-17 20:00:13

paddynan, that sounds like the old "get on with it" approach. I've found it invaluable. That doesn't mean I think it works for everyone, or that it shouldn't be combined with talking therapy/meditation or any other type of support but getting on with it lacks the celebrity glitz it seems.

phoenix Tue 03-Oct-17 20:23:05

Recently diagnosed with COPD, I have noticed that if I get stressed and anxious, my breathing is definitely affected!

The Vensir definitely helps with depression, and to a degree, stress/anxiety but at times I do find myself reaching for the Ventolin! (I'm on Fostair twice a day, Seebri once a day, and Ventolin as and when needed, thank heaven's for the pre paid prescription thing!)

julianellis901 Wed 04-Oct-17 01:44:02

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DanniRae Wed 04-Oct-17 08:23:59

I think Gransnet is amazing if people read your post juliane and successfully take your advice. I just love the way we all help one another!

KatyK Wed 04-Oct-17 10:23:09

Daisy I too suffer with terrible anxiety. It is with me constantly, a tight feeling in my head and palpitations etc.
Everything scares me. Until recently I have struggled on but a couple of months ago, I was so bad I was shaking from head to foot at the thought of doing anything. I went to my GP who prescribed some mild anti anxiety pills, which didn't help at all. I still do most things in a sort of 'feel the fear and do it anyway' way but life can be pretty miserable for me and those around me. I have to say it does help knowing that others have the same problem, not that I would wish it on anyone. I put mine down to some awful life events, without wishing to say 'poor me'.

KatyK Wed 04-Oct-17 10:29:10

I'm sure some celebrities do suffer in this way, but I also think some jump on bandwagons.

Daisydoo2 Wed 04-Oct-17 11:03:41

Katyk you are definitely not alone, mine too is due to life events. James Arthur, another book promotion!, is on the tv saying breathing helped him... really.. if only it were that simple. I'm afraid feel the fear and go for it is perhaps the only way I know too. I'm trying to pretend I am someone else, who is more confident than me, when i go out today... well at least it gets me out the door! Most anxiety sufferers I believe have amazing knowledge and imaginations (blowing my own trumpet I know) so I'm trying to put mine to good use. Good luck.

KatyK Wed 04-Oct-17 11:07:51

I agree with you Daisy . If only it was as simple as breathing! I am not unintelligent (trumpets again). I think I have a lot to offer but am so full of self doubt and fear that it has always held me back. I do that pretending I'm somebody full of confidence thing. What a shame that we have to do that to be able to live our lives. Good luck to you too flowers

Cobweb01 Wed 04-Oct-17 11:26:13

"pull yourself together" just makes my anxiety worse as I am already angry that I am not in control of it. I imagine you feel something similar and then there's the guilt of letting people close to you down. My anxiety comes from PTSD: others have mentioned this was the trigger for them too. I also suffer from a problem with my nervous system which is made worse by stress so bit of a catch 22. Whatever works for you, go with it - some good advice given on here. I am on anti depressants which I hate as already on constant pain meds. I have no advice for coping to give you as I am not in that place yet but I offer my support and just showing you that you are far from alone in how you feel. We are all good at putting our mask on and pretending all is well.

MissAdventure Wed 04-Oct-17 11:32:06

I think celebrities will jump onto whatever the latest bandwagon is, although I'm sure they have their share of ups and downs.

Legs55 Wed 04-Oct-17 11:38:39

My late DH had bouts of depression, his DD & S both thought he should "pull himself together", it's not possible, pills didn't help him but CBT did (not always easy to get on NHS).

He would refuse to walk out of the front door, didn't want to see any-body or even talk to me at times. During one particularly difficult episode I managed to get him out of the house as I had raked up the grass the Council had mown & needed him to hold the bags open, I breezed in & said I need your help, come & hold the bags for me, he did without a second thought it broke the cycle & he could manage to leave the house again.

Daisydoo2 it's never as easy as "pull yourself together", I suffer from mild anxiety about visiting the Dentist, meeting new people & driving to strange places but as a Widow I have to force myself to do these things without support. I do agree that some celbs seem to jump "on the bandwagon" others like Bill Oddie have suffered for years & only recently spoken out.

I wish you well & hope you find your "coping mechanism"flowers

lesley4357 Wed 04-Oct-17 11:38:41

I also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. As a - now retired - teacher this posed problems. I overcame it by wearing my 'teacher hat' or acting out the role of a confident person. I'm still anxious being myself, but find that adopting an appropriate persona helps me cope

Applegran Wed 04-Oct-17 11:52:50

Living with anxiety is so painful and limits so much of your life - I think you are doing well to ask GN for advice. My suggestion is to realise that anxiety, and other painful mental conditions, arise because of habitual thoughts. We usually believe our thoughts, especially if they keep coming back to us. But our thoughts are often - very often - not the Truth, and that applies especially to thoughts which keep coming back. Thoughts lead to feelings and fears. So it is well worth getting help - ask your doctor if you can have CBT, or maybe NLP (don't worry about the initials - they are ways to help you change unhelpful and unreal thoughts and replace them with helpful and realistic thoughts. That can transform how you feel)

Lilyflower Wed 04-Oct-17 11:54:00

I find having routines help. For example, I have a checking off list for going out the door and just do the same things in the same order. My last part is actually handling the things I am afraid I will forget and saying them out loud, It sounds crazy saying, 'Keys, phone, lippy, purse, shopping list,' or whatever to myself but once I am in the routine I forget to be anxious and just get on with it.

If I wake in the night now thinking the world is about to come to an end I tell myself that it is the result of night time brain chemistry and that when I am up and about in the morning I will feel better.

I am not sure that the anxiety goes away but having a practical 'go-to' technique helps a bit.

Musicelf Wed 04-Oct-17 11:55:46

I'm another who suffers in the same way. I have no self-esteem - my mother made sure of that - and am anxious about meeting anyone, about going anywhere. My husband is supportive, but as a confident, outgoing man, he has no idea of how destructive these feelings are, and I try to hide them when I can. I have been on anti-depressants for years, but I also rely too heavily on my Ventolin.

My wonderful husband booked a cruise for my forthcoming birthday - we sail next week - and although I've been on a cruise before, I am absolutely terrified already. I am glad we have a balcony cabin, as I will take refuge there when necessary. My saving grace is that I was a fairly decent amateur actress in my day, and can put on the confident face, but it's such hard work.

It's good to know that I'm not alone in my anxiety, and that I'm not just a total wimp.

MissAdventure Wed 04-Oct-17 11:57:19

I'm sure there are apps for phones which have mindfulness, etc on. I don't know how helpful they are, but was reading a review of one in a magazine, and it came out as being very worthwhile.