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How do you not feel shame in taking anti-depressants long-term

(139 Posts)
alovelycupoftea Sat 13-Jan-18 14:36:42

I have been on ADs on and off (mostly on) for the last 25-ish years, after a lifetime problem with anxiety & then later depression after the death of my mother when I was 20. My problem is that, even after all this time and with the ADs working so well for me that I can live a normal life, I still feel a bit ashamed of needing them. From time to time I start to think about coming off them/ reducing my dose ( I am currently on 225mg Venlafaxine), but only manage to unsettle myself with the very thoughts and so changing my mind. I know all the practical arguments about "you'd take medication if you had asthma etc, so it's just the same", and they all make perfect sense, but I just can't seem to truly believe it and accept it without feeling a bit pathetic for needing them. Has anyone else accepted this ok, and can share how you did it? Thanks so much.

Jaycee5 Sun 14-Jan-18 09:23:02

I think one problem is that so many people think that they are experts in depression or anxiety in a way that they wouldn't with cancer or heart disease and they are often negative about ADs.
I have taken them (citalopram) and now occasionally take St. Johns Worth which helps if I feel myself sliding towards depression. I wish I had discovered it earlier as I suffered from it for years. I haven't found anything that works for anxiety except to try to avoid situations that make me anxious which is obviously not always possible. If you have found something that works then I hope you will be able to see that as a positive.
I am sure that there are far more people who are taking anti-depressants than would admit it although no one would think twice about saying that they were taking most other medications.

Jaycee5 Sun 14-Jan-18 09:23:35

Wort not Worth.

HappyAmI Sun 14-Jan-18 09:25:08

I’ve been on ads now on and off for last 25 years and have now agreed with my gp that I can stay on them indefinitely. I’m on a relatively low dose, 50mg sertraline a day, This helps to keep me stable and able to deal with all the stuff in my life.

I don’t feel ashamed of being on them, or hide it. I’ve found also that if it comes up in conversation so many other people say they are on them as well.

labazs1964 Sun 14-Jan-18 09:26:42

i know how you feel i have been on them for similar amount of time and sometimes i think oh maybe this isnt right and i should be ashamed of having to rely on them but i know without them i would be a lot worse off probably be in hospital long term or even have taken my own life we have to do what we have to do to survive

Wally Sun 14-Jan-18 09:30:42

Cuppa. We are what we are and if taking a certain something helps you along life's some times stressful highway then there is absolutely no shame whatever in taking it. I have family and friends that need similar help so please whatever you do don't go cold turkey. If you're worried about long term effects why not discuss them with your doctor.

damewithaname Sun 14-Jan-18 09:31:46

Don't feel ashamed and if anyone has every made you feel that way, they should be ashamed. You live a fuller life on them and that is all that matters!

Coconut Sun 14-Jan-18 09:32:53

It’s not your fault that you are prone to depression, no more than anyone else who has to live with any other medical condition ...... so take the help available and don’t beat yourself up about it ?

SussexGirl60 Sun 14-Jan-18 09:35:54

Hi, in my work I see many people on antidepressants long term. I think it’s ok to be on them....equally, ok to want to stop taking them. If you decide to try coming off them, you will want to find some support, emotionally, and physically, so you know how slowly to wean yourself off, and you have somewhere to go, to offload emotions that will come up. There’s no easy way to do it. If you have the motivation, it’s really possible but you may decide you’re happy with how things are. No one can, or should make that decision for you.

Jane10 Sun 14-Jan-18 09:37:14

You shouldn't feel ashamed of having to take them. However, they are only treating or masking symptoms rather than really addressing the cause or causes of your pain.

loopyloo Sun 14-Jan-18 09:40:00

I think this is a bit of a feature of modern society . That we should all be exercising and eating healthily and if we become unwell it's our fault. I feel this because of my type 2 diabetes. That it's something to be guilty about.
I think we should be aware of this so we can counteract it.
If you need anti depressants to cope that's ok. Like I need glasses to see and shoes so I can walk. Don't let them make you feel guilty.

Grandange Sun 14-Jan-18 09:41:45

and much more of it! it beats the alternative............

Yellowmellow Sun 14-Jan-18 09:43:56

Talking now with my therapist head on. There is no shame in taking anti-depressants. There is 'circumstantial' depression, which means circumstances in our lives can trigger depression e.f. a break up of a relationship, bereavement, loss of a job etc, then there is clinical depression, which can mean a level of medication is needed to maintain good mental health. If you needed heart medication or medication for a physical condition you would probably take it. No shame. Has anyone suggested counselling or CBT to help you understand and manage how you are feeling? This help can be accessed through your G.P x

Granny23 Sun 14-Jan-18 09:58:20

For anyone concerned about the cocktail of drugs they have been prescribed - Visit your pharmacist and ask them to check the list of drugs to see if any are incompatible. It was the Pharmacist who spotted that my mum was still taking a drug that should have been cancelled when she started another, phoned Mum's GP which led to a full review of medication and much reduced drug regime. GP made a home visit, inspected the medicine cabinet and took away all the redundant prescribed and over the counter pills for disposal. Mum was very reluctant to stop the pills she had been taking for years but was noticeably better once her medication had been sorted out.

goose1964 Sun 14-Jan-18 10:00:42

I've finally started to take ADS after on/off depression all my adult life . I've identified my trigger so I'm a lot better but I still need my ADs to fully silence those negative innrt voices

janeainsworth Sun 14-Jan-18 10:00:53

jaycee if there are particular situations which make you feel anxious, cognitive behavioural therapy can be helpful.
It helps you to recognise the causes of the anxiety (often going way back in the past) and to reframe the situation so that you see it in a different, more positive way.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Sun 14-Jan-18 10:02:04

I wouldn't feel shame if I were you. My sister is on AD and probably will be for life because she feels she needs them and doesn't want to go through the experience of having to wean herself off them.
To turn this discussion on its head I take a certain amount of pride in not taking them. We've both been through challenging times. Maybe my expectations are different. If things are bad I expect to feel sad and maybe have difficulty sleeping but I 'tough my way' through. Perhaps I'm just more headstrong in a bolshie sort of way.

Legs55 Sun 14-Jan-18 10:19:47

My DH had bouts of depression over the years, medication never worked for him but I put this down to his impatience (pills didn't work instantly!!). His Psychiatrist agreed that pills weren't suitable for him. He was referred to a Psychologist, this worked better for him.

There is no shame in taking ADs, if they work for you carry on. flowers

Poly580 Sun 14-Jan-18 10:23:00

Hi Cuppa, I was admitted to the Priory in 2006 with clinical depression ( not sectioned). I was so low I wanted to take my own life. The stigma of mental health follows me still. People need to change their views. The shock of what happened stopped my periods ( not in the menopause) and left me with an under active thyroid. I have just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I could go on but this post is not about me.
I was given a very thin book to read called “The curse of the strong “that was written by a psychatrist. It explains how you have had things to deal with that others may not have, how you tried to stay strong for so long that your system couldn’t cope, that kind of thing. It changed my outlook and I turned a corner. I slowly weaned myself off meds after 10 years of taking them. When my GP told me that sertraline was the possible cause of my hair loss I took charge of my own health. There is no shame, we are all different and have had different paths. Don’t ever let ignorant people make you feel ashamed. Depression affects all walks of life. You’re doing fantastic! You’re still coping and have either helped a few people who feel the same or increased understanding when they read your post, so thank you. I wish you well x

Rosina Sun 14-Jan-18 10:27:28

You are doing nothing wrong and harming nobody; everyone in this life needs help of some sort at some time, and this is what you need. Don't be hard on yourself - you sound like a responsible and caring person to even think of this at all, so get that chin up and remember how many people need some kind of help as they travel through life. You sounds like a really nice woman - love yourself for this! x

Rosina Sun 14-Jan-18 10:28:18

'sound' - my terrible typing again.

Candelle Sun 14-Jan-18 10:32:58

I can be quite unwell with a physical problem (as at the moment) that rears up every winter and I feel guilty about having it, the medications I need to try and manage/sort it out again and the change necessary in my lifestyle (can't do anything) whilst I am unwell.

I see it all as a weakness that I am unable to do anything about and without being too flippant, I probably need some anti-depressants at these times.....

We should not not feel guilty about our health - no one knows what another person is feeling/suffering, it is all so subjective. As I say, 'ibbwib'. I'll be better when I'm better...

Alovelycupoftea, please don't feel guilty about your pills. Keep taking them to help you and I'll take mine to help me. Blow everyone else!

Cobweb01 Sun 14-Jan-18 10:33:18

I have been on mirtazapine for about 6 months now and hope to be able to reduce them, then come off them in the next 6 months. Difficulty is not knowing if I am feeling better because of or despite the ADs. I know how you feel and I think the stigma of having any kind of mental illness is being addressed but for those of us that are of older generations, we still have the old attitudes in our heads. I hope you feel better and if it's the ADs that are doing that for you, feel no shame as the shame is on those who don't recognise mental illness (long or short term) and think we should all "pull ourselves together".

holdingontometeeth Sun 14-Jan-18 10:52:46

If they are working for you, which they obviously are, continue with them.
There must be millions of people on AD's as the estimate is one in three of us will experience Depression at some stage in our lives, some knowingly, others not.
A bit of positive thinking wouldn't go amiss.
Be proud of getting through each day and think that you are the best thing since sliced bread.
If you do go along the course of stopping or reducing them, only do so after discussing it with your doctor.

Day6 Sun 14-Jan-18 11:07:47

Cupoftea - I rattle from all the prescription pills I have to take on a daily basis.

Try and reframe your situation if you can. There is no shame and aren't we lucky to have the sort of medication that makes us feel better?

You are what you are. You function better because you have to take ADs. I wouldn't function at all if I didn't have some of my pills. We live in good times. Decades ago we'd have had to suffer, or even worse, we'd have conked out.

Rejoice that you are ok. You are not weak. I am what I am, pills and all, and so are you. Onwards, upwards, forwards etc. Best wishes. smile

Nonnie Sun 14-Jan-18 11:33:15

travelsofar that seems to be the current problem with the media emphasis on mental health. I know someone who says she is depressed but won't take any meds in case they disagree with her. IMO she would try anything if she really was depressed.