Should I be worried about DH?

There are other conditions that can mimic dementia, such as anemia and low thyroid levels, which are easily treated. So it would be a pity not to persuade him to get checked over

Poor MamaCaz I feel for you. You've been given great advice already, I'd just say that I would be inclined to take these concerns to your GP and ask for help.

As you say your DH is keen to go to the GP for physical issues (unlike a lot of men), why don't you wait until he has his next appointment. You can phone the surgery/book a phone consultation beforehand and raise your concerns and explain that your DH won't bring this up but you are worried. They can then discretely assess him when he is there.

Yes, I think you should be concerned and should seek professional help and advice.

You mention being out in the car and him asking about a road sign. Please tell me he wasn't driving, you were the driver? Please!!!!!

My OH had a stroke almost 19 years ago & although recovered well at the time, is now experiencing effects from it as he gets older. He's been checked out by medics who say regrettably this can happen as the body ages. I worry about dementia too, but feel all that I can do if OH doesn't feel up to dealing with these concerns at the moment, is watchful waiting as others have advised.

Forgetting ordinary words is common, forgetting how to spell a very ordinary word is not normal.

We all change as we get older. Unless it’s seriously affecting your lives, I would leave it alone.

I agree he needs to be assessed and possibly be referred to a specialist. As his memory and mood are both changing it needs a proper check up.

YES. A doctor's appointment needs to be made. Perhaps, with a little prompting, your surgery could send a letter inviting him (or both of you, so that it's not so pointedly all about him) to have a routine check. If you explain that without such a letter, he is unlikely to seek a diagnosis and might be cross with you for suggesting he needs one, the receptionist might be able to work a bit of magic.
No-one likes to think that their faculties are slipping but you did well to note this early on and, hopefully, there is a positive response from your doctor which will give your husband (and you) a clear diagnosis and likely outcome.
Best wishes

I find that my spelling is not what it was in that I write a word and occasionally have to think whether it is right, whereas before it would have required no thought at all. Spelling was one of my few real skills! But at least I look at it and know it is wrong! - I suppose that is something.

MamaCaz. Having been in a similar situation to yourself I put my head in the sand and convinced myself it was part and parcel of 'getting old'.It was just the start of what was to be a distressing period for both of us. All I can say is get professional advice see DH's gp on your own, Tell him /her what you are describing to us and take it from there.

With Mum, we wrote everything down that she was struggling with and gave it to her GP who then called her in for a general health check. Her symptoms escalated from slight forgetfulness to things such as forgetting how to use technology that she had previously been familiar with, missing hair appointments, forgetting where she had parked her car or blaming other people for hiding kitchen utensils.

You could keep a note of things that concern you and then you will see if they escalate.

I think you should tell your doctor about your concerns and then when your DH next goes perhaps the GP could slip in a cognitive assessment.
In the meantime note any problems. Going out for walks and drinking plenty but not alcohol might help.

It concerns me that so many people advise you to wait OP.
My mother showed early signs of dementia. I insisted on getting her assessed then put on the medication Aricept before it was cleared for general use. It halted the deterioration allowing her to enjoy a decent quality of life until the end.
I am so glad I caught it early. Please don't wait before approaching you GP.

I don’t think people are advising OP to wait.
The general consensus seems to me to be that there may well be a problem - early signs of dementia/UTI/TIA , perhaps even eyesight, and that MamaCaz should get him checked over ASAP.

I think my suggestion of "watchful waiting" really relates to finding the right moment to take action. As long as he still has capacity then he can refuse treatment; and it is important that he is onside as he could make OP's life miserable if he is angry about the actions taken.

I get the same problem occasionally, mostly that I cannot recall a specific word, one that is in regular use, or I have to check my spelling. This memory problem is common as we get older. I also have to think about where I am driving whereas beforehand I would just drive there without thinking about the route.
So I've had a memory check which was OK for my age. But it is important to think about changes and recognise when advice from your GP could either set your mind at rest or realise something needs to be done.
I would recommend a visit to your GP for a general check up especially if the last visit to the GP was a long time ago.

MamaCaz - I would be worried and get him seen to by hook or by crook, but also taking into account the advice of others above.

This is a wake-up call for all of us. My mother said to my sister several years ago that she was to tell her if she noticed that her household or personal hygiene was slipping.

I think I shall do that to my nearest and dearest with regard to dementia and tell them that they are to deal with it in no uncertain terms if I start getting seriously forgetful. That way, no one should feel that they are walking on eggshells if they need to tell me I'm senile. It's obviously a bit of a taboo, and very difficult to tell someone to their face that they are deteriorating, but it's got to be done.

Surely your husband must have felt odd himself asking how to spell such a simple word?

I was in the same situation as you MamaCaz, so I understand your concern. The advice of "marching DH to the doc" made me smile. Clearly their DH aren't
stubborn mules like mine was!
I cared for my husband who had a rare form of lymphoma, for 7 years. I wrote to our doc, in fact I wrote many times as dementia wasn't the only problem.
It is the best advice IMO. Unless your DH agrees he has a problem and "wants" to get a check up, write to his doc and keep note of all incidents. Good luck. It is not easy!

he needs to be checked, there are other reasons for this other than dementia. I'm a master at it and I only have the menopause to blame.

Luckygirl I understand your husband's comment. He means that because the teacher was Welsh he was rugby mad, any excuse to watch a match

There might be a way, MamaCaz - how about scheduling a "double checkup visit" with the Dr. Ask your DH to come with you as your backup, (because you need him there?), but make sure that the Dr knows the real reason for the booking. The Doctor should also know beforehand that your OH is driving. This is something that must absolutely be forbidden if he is diagnosed with Alzheimers or Dementia. Too many cases of people forgetting which pedal is which, and accelerating instead of braking. Horrifying.

Driving isn't absolutely forbidden with an Alzheimer's diagnosis. The delay should be informed and they will probably consult the gp or psychiatrist. If a licence is granted it will normally be reviewed after 1 year.

We go to different doctors at different surgeries, so there is no way i can 'trick' him into an appointment, joint or otherwise.

It sounds like aphasia, the communication stuff that is. DH uses speech to text technology on his iPad to send emails and text to speech to read the news etc. He has very little literacy following strokes. He also cannot express himself clearly or follow a conversation. However he does not “look like a person who has had a stroke” . Hs mouth never drooped and he doesn’t even limp. He also has the moody stuff described by OP. I managed to get him to the GP recently because he was worried about his lack of stamina. Blood tests showed nothing to do with his raft of health problems, he just isn’t moving about enough ! Good Luck Mama With finding a way to get him to a GP. Stubborn beasts aren’t they??

My understanding is that a GP can do an easy check by giving someone something eg an address, to remember at the start of the appointment ( ie any appointment for something else) then ask them to repeat it just as they are keaving. So if you informed the surgery of your concern they could do this.

But I also wonder if he is socialising at all - I find that if I give in to lethargy, SAD, or shear laziness, I get depressed and forgetful, but if I am with other people I become (relatively) witty and gay! Could it be that your husband just needs to get out more? Does he belong to any clubs or meet friends in a pub? How about taking up bowling or something?