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Mother of the bride nerves

(58 Posts)
luluaugust Wed 11-Apr-18 17:35:30

Honestly cheesecake when you read some of the wedding threads on here your DD's day sounds well organised and serene. You really just have to turn up and be yourself, there will be lots of people so just get round as many as you feel comfortable with, it sounds like it is going to be a happy day enjoy it. Why not go and have a massage, try some relaxation, drink loads of Chamomile and take a deep breath as you make your entrance. Good luck

lemongrove Wed 11-Apr-18 15:49:58

I do understand cheesecake and when my DD got married
15 years ago I was asked to manage most of the arrangements.Even on the day itself I did the brides hair, and also two of the adult bridesmaids.After that, all that was left to do was enjoy the day.
Good planning helped so that I didn’t feel panicked.
If you don’t have to sort out all the arrangements though, then just get yourself an outfit and enjoy it all.I didn’t feel that eyes were on me at all, even if they were.If you feel you are dressed appropriately what does it matter?
Have you thought about something like Kalms, and take them for a few days before the wedding? Hopefully as it gets nearer you will feel better about the whole thing, it’s one day, that’s all.Good luck.?

Sar53 Wed 11-Apr-18 15:49:48

When my eldest daughter got married 10 years ago I was on my own and emotionally not in a good place. I was dreading being in the limelight.
It was the most wonderful few days, my youngest daughter and I arrived a few days before the wedding to help out. The day itself was magical and I can honestly say it was one of the best days ever.
cheesecake just go with the flow, try not to worry and I really hope you have the same kind of experience that I did.

cheesecake Wed 11-Apr-18 15:36:44

You're right, I know that in my head. But my silly brain goes into overdrive without my permission. I must focus on the joy of the day.
maryeliza I'm not usually prone to panics at all. It seems to have come on quite suddenly. Just after their engagement party actually. I really don't want pre-wedding jitters to spoil the day.
Enjoy your family wedding Petra. I like your style!

maryeliza54 Wed 11-Apr-18 14:46:55

Do you normally have panic attacks? If not why should you on this lovely day? If you are prone to them,have a chat with your GP. At the end of my dd’s Wedding day I just wanted it to happen all over again - so much joy, love, friendship - the very air was heady with it - what a blessing to experience that

petra Wed 11-Apr-18 14:45:39

I'm going to be the mother of the bride in May. The only 'problem' I have is what outfit to wear on the day ( I have 3 now) grin
It's not your responsibility to be the host, that is what you are in your own home when you give a party. If there is such a thing as a 'host' at a wedding it is the ushers. There should be no reason for you to help out, that is what you pay people for. I certainly have no intention of 'helping out'
My Son in law has paid a lot of money so that nobody has to do anything except: turn up, eat drink and enjoy yourself.
So, cheesecake. Put your gladrags on, look fabulous and enjoy the day grin

Eglantine21 Wed 11-Apr-18 14:06:59

Don't be panicky cheesecake. To be honest all eyes will not be on you. The grooms family will only really be looking at him and any related bridesmaids. The friends will only be looking at the bride and themselves (on selfies!) Your family will be mostly looking at the bride and a bit at you, but they love you anyway?
Last year my son got married and as I was the only parent left I had to do the welcome, the speech, the register signing, the waltzing around making sure everyone was happy- everything! I don't suppose hardly anyone now even remembers what I looked like.

Buy an outfit that you love and feel comfortable in and just enjoy this happy day?

cheesecake Wed 11-Apr-18 13:56:50

My daughter is getting married in June to a lovely man. They've chosen to have a big wedding with a huge guest list - they have a lot of friends and family between them and he has a number of colleagues invited too. I'm thrilled for them and would really like to be looking forward to the big day. But instead I'm terrified. sad I've never really suffered from nerves before but the thought of the big day and all the fuss and eyes on me as the mother of the bride is making me sick with worry. I know it's not about me and my daughter will be getting most of the attention but I know she'll be relying on me to play host and help out. We're a very close family. Please tell me how to get over this. I'm scared I'm going to have a proper panic attack during the service and ruin their wedding. Or be too panicky to be there.