Depression In Retirement

I am sorry to hear you are not enjoying retirement - so far! - maybe some of the suggestions on this thread will help you.

From my point of view it is the best thing in the world, and I wish I could have done it when I was younger!

I have been retired for 10 years now and the joy of getting up most mornings with a day ahead in which I can choose what to do has not palled.

I am very busy indeed doing the things I love. It is a shame that your job sucked everything from you each working day, so that you have not had room to develop other aspects of your life. But now is the time to start.

This is YOUR time - I hope you find a way of looking at it in a positive light as an opportunity rather than an ending.

There are millions of things you could be doing - some solitary, like reading or study - and some out in the community enjoying the company of others or contributing to the local scene by volunteering in whatever interests you (theatre, wildlife, music, health, education) or just chilling out.

I find it very hard to imagine not knowing how to fill my time!

I retired after many years in a senior leader post in a school and can honestly say I have never found life so enjoyable.
I can understand how you feel though, the role is so full on when you are working.
I have found voluntary roles where I can put my skills to use, and believe me they are very welcome. Perhaps your voluntary work is not at a high enough level to be satisfying.
I am trustee of a charity which involves recruitment, change management and strategic direction. Schools are desperate for governors, including Chairs. There are few people willing to take this important role on, and with the right skills. Headteachers need all the support they can get.
I enjoy the WI and am on the committee of my local branch. Through this I have met many people to go on outings, and have taken courses at Denman college.
You need a balance of being useful and enjoying yourself. I am also arranging holidays in between to see plenty of different places.
You sound as if the transition has been difficult for you, perhaps it was too early and you might consider going back to work?
If you want to use your skills have a look at volunteer opportunities and the LA governor support unit.

There don't seem to be any easy answers. I retired early from a professional position to assist in some serious family matters. I have also been very involved in care of grandchildren but they too are growing up and don't need me so much anymore.

I think one if the biggest issues is that we lose our roles, our status in the community, become somewhat invisible and, as you say, our reason to get up in the morning. I think this is why some people (those who can afford it anyway) often travel a great deal. It fills in the time and provides instant companionship and hopefully some fun. There is no "one size fits all" answer. Try the many good suggestions offered by other Grans and over time you will find what works for you.

It's ironic isn't it that the wonderful gift of late life leisure and unstructured time that our forebears could only dream about can loom so large as a problem. Maybe a first world problem but still real. Good luck. ☘️
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Retirement is tricky for everyone and depression is very common. It is as though the past senses you now have time to deal with problems and pains you pushed aside when you were busy. Your relationship with your sister might only be the flag for a more complex issue with relationships in general.

Like others on here I recommend a bit of routine. I get out of bed and go to a pilates class on Monday mornings at 9.00 am locally . I've made friends there and we often have coffee afterwards which is enjoyable. Sometimes we go to the cinema together which I like.

My friend doesn't care for exercise but three times a week, she cooks voluntarily for a local organisation and so has to get out of bed to do the shopping.

Whatever you like, but maybe think of a bit of therapy to explore your depression and learn a little more about yourself. That is what I did after my children had left home and I was bereft. I will always miss them but find the space they have left quite enjoyable these days. Goodluck to you.

Sue, I wanted to add something to what I said in an earlier post. I know that walking out of doors , if possible somewhere green and natural, makes a huge difference to our outlook. It is good for our brains and moods - we evolved to walk! Of course it could be some other exercise, but for me walking regularly makes a huge difference, and I believe is sometimes actually prescribed by doctors.

I am a school governor, as mentioned above. I am sure that, with your background in education, there will be schools ready to hoover you in! It is a serious role involving training and taking responsibility for monitoring particular aspects of school life. And being a part of that community has its fun aspects too.

I have not in the least lost my status in the community as Apricity suggests happens in retirement - it is quite the other way around. When I was working I was seldom there in the community - now it is my focus rather than being out of the community working all day every day.

My life is tied partly by looking after sick OH, and also by GC care - were it not for these, there are so many things that I would do and enjoy. I would probably volunteer at the local hospice as it would tie in with my work background.

When you are retired, every day is an opportunity.

Oh dear you sound like my husband 18 months ago...though he didn’t voice anything....just his behaviour changed to the point that I thought he had dementia....on speaking to my son (psychiatrist)..he suggested depression and to keep a diary....GP agreed....he had worked for 60 years...lived in a big house with a big garden...played golf...very quiet man...moved to different county (his choice)...small house...small garden...no other income....shy to begin with but because of his depression completely shut off...became Mr Scrooge....documented every purchase.....even a pint of milk!!...was short tempered, rude, grumpy, sullen, all traits not there before.....he had got rid of his golf clubs....his son and I colluded and he brought him set of clubs...joined sports club with 9 hole course....played at 0700 so never met anyone but at least the fresh air helped...only down side was I have to go as he only has one eye and sight not so great ...can’t always follow flight of ball so I have to go and spot for him....it took nearly a year but he has come out the other side...converted garage to workshop and started doing odd jobs.....now chats to some of the neighbours and I have my husband back.....fresh air and patience and you will get there.....my answer to everything is.....”could be worse, you could be living in Syria”!!

I think the key issue here is that you feel you lack a sense of purpose. Could you try to find a new purpose...either feeling needed, or learning a completely new skill.
Also...perhaps those long hours keeping busy at work were an escape from something else on your mind, that you were too busy to think about...maybe your sister?

As a retired headteacher I can really empathise with you
If you don’t fancy doing local volunteering how about using your skills for the citizens advice
They were exactly right for me for some years then I stepped back and now volunteer at the local Hall
Really citizens need and will use your skills and you’ll meet clientele you can recognise
Go to a different town if needs be
Can’t recommend highly enough
Good luck

So far no one seems to have mentioned U3A, if there's one in your area. This organisation offers a wealth of different activities and you can usually try it/them out, without making a commitment to join. Other posters have mentioned WI - I really recommend this; most groups also do other activities in addition to the regular monthly meeting. Local libraries usually have information on locsl activities and groups - sometimes they "host" these. Please, please get out there and get involved in something - taking the first step is the hardest thing. Lastly, it's been said that "if you feel blue, go green!" As has been mentioned, getting outside, even just to walk around the block, or smell the roses in your garden, can help to lift one's mood.

It does get better, SueSocks - I worked in a very busy environment with lots of challenges and retired fairly quickly without giving it a lot of consideration when circumstances changed and I would have been financially worse off if I didn't. I loved my job, and it was an abrupt and seismic change for me.
After a few days of having a lie in and catching up on various jobs, a certain bleakness started to creep in and I missed so many things about work. However, I can honestly say that the joy of freedom crept over me, it was a slow awakening to a feeling that I had never experienced Gradually I picked up on other activities, and I can honestly say that I have never been so happy or felt as relaxed as I do now. Take heart - it does take time.

I note that your activities seem to hinge on joining groups- it's wonderful if you can also develop hobbies and interests at home. I retired early and find being frantically active all day every day means I don't get depressed. Reading...don't just pick up a book listlessly but set yourself (or sign up for) reading challenges; write reviews... A good walk each day is ideal; make yourself do it, even if you don't have anywhere particular to go. Handicrafts? I knit and sew: research projects online/ from library books, so always a long list of things to make..Educate yourself- get books/ go online to pursue topics that interest you. Of course develop social life alongside, but I do think the stuff you do at home is the mainstay. I don't know how I ever had time to work!! xx

SueSocks, if you feel you lack purpose, get into voluntary work that gives you purpose. I don't mean doing a couple of hours in the local charity shop, I mean actual hands on stuff e.g. helping with people with dementia, cerebral palsy or autism. Contact your local Carer's Association to see what opportunities there are, or the Alzheimer's Society. Is there a good care home near you which would welcome someone to run activities with the residents? (e.g. Abbeyfield Society home). If that kind of 'hands on' involvement doesn't appeal, your background in teaching might well be valued in a voluntary role for the WEA or in a community library. You are lucky to have reached retirement in good health and ready to start a new chapter in life. Enjoy it!

Retirement can be a big transition and I identify with the issue of working out a purpose in life when its no longer a career. I would suggest timetabling some regular exercise into your week. Its brilliant for depression. Very hard to feel down after a vigorous Zumba class, or aerobics, or even Yoga or Pilates. Volunteering works for me. I do two jobs at the moment and love both. The RVS trolley round at a nearby hospital has proved to be uplifting and rewarding. The courage, stoicism and good humour of some of the patients is really heartening, and seeing the way they are dealing with misfortune invariably makes me feel blessed about even the smallest things in life - such as being able to walk out of the hospital door into the sunlight at the end of my shift.

SueSocks. I was very apprehensive about retirement 3 years ago. It is a huge adjustment and it takes a while to get used to that lack of purpose and structure. But now I am really enjoying my life. Think you have to give yourself some time to adjust. It's not the end of your life, just a big change. You are now free to do anything at all you want! Grasp that with both hands and think about what you want to do. You dont say if you are a married lady. But if you are single, there are lots of good holiday companies now who cater for solo travellers. You have obviously been used to responsibility, so check out what local groups there are I.e. ladies equivalent of the Rotary club? Charities usually require secretaries, treasurer etc. What about an Open univ course? Or are there any National Trust properties nearby who need volunteers?But try and keep in touch with some of your work colleagues. I missed some of the ladies I worked with but a small group of us get together regularly for a catch up. You are obviously a strong, intelligent lady, to do what you did work wise, so there is a lot out there for you.

Firstly, one cannot 'catch up' on sleep, that's a nonsense.
Your post makes no mention of a husband/partner so I'm assuming that you live alone and, after a 'hectic' work life, it's to be expected that life post retirement will feel somewhat flat.
You make no mention of your interests but I would have thought that, if you feel a lack of energy, you wouldn't be giving private tuition or working in a school again. More of the same old but on a slightly less frenetic scale.
As you have a decent pension, why not travel with like-minded singles. You could plan a journey taking several weeks or months with no pressure to return to the fray. It may clear your mind ready for the next stage.
There is MeetUp, a worldwide organisation comprising a multitude of groups doing anything and everything a fertile mind could possibly imagine...and then some. You could even start your own group and there are no joining fees or restraints on the number of groups you choose to be interested in. More can be found on their website.
There are groups within that org which organise holidays of varying lengths in varying countries, just for members.
I 100% guarantee there will be something of interest.
Lastly, get out of teacher mode. You've had decades of it so why continue to immerse yourself via private tuition and volunteering?
Money? I doubt it. Is it the feeling of being needed/useful? Probably.
Wipe the board ckean andcdo something out of the box. Surprise yourself. If all you can chat about is schools and your past role, it can be boring to listen to.
Learn to skydive, take up marathon running, learn how to drive an HGV. Anything but school related pursuits.
Good luck. Take the path less well known.

I refuse to write out my errors 10 times.

My wife and I retired 3 months ago. We have since taken up yoga, joined English Heritage and try and be as active as we can, both physically and mentally. I am assuming that you are on your own which I am sure is not easy for you. As someone else suggested take a holiday or use the skills learned in your occupation perhaps in volunteer work. Try and join groups where you can meet people. It will get better - good luck

I am kept very busy with AC, GC and an elderly Mum. But I did make a personal bucket list and am working my way thro it. I travel all over the world with a really good Singles Co as so many of my friends do not have my dreams. I also belong to an “over 50’s Meet Up” group, which are in most areas now. They do everything from yoga, walking, book clubs, eating out, theatre, Cinema etc and you can also suggest things that you would like to do, and other like minded people will join you. Let your retirement be a new phase of adventure and fun, life is for living !! ?‍♀️☀️???

Don't lose faith.

I took early retirement following ill health but still worked on a casual basis in the same profession as I only had state pension and savings to rely on. I love the flexibility to be able to do what I want each day without having the daily grind of knowing I have to go to work.

I got heavily involved in local politics at first to stop me being bored but after 5 years have withdrawn from that now but still help out on the fringes. I have now joined my local leisure centre and swim 3/4 times a week following surgery and it makes me feel great. I am also a member of a pub quiz team for mental stimulation.

So I would advise you to find a new interest you can be passionate about, do a bit of volunteering and exercise (maybe get a pet to care about), increase your socialising and perhaps register for some supply work if you miss your job so much and, as finance doesn't seem a problem for you, get that bucket list out of places in the world you'd like to visit. I would recommend a company called Just You if you go as a single traveller. You are luckier than most as you have had a good career and are financially secure so you should learn to appreciate the rewards it has bought you.

I'm surprised you've never mentored anyone for the last few years of their teaching career through to retirement, Suesocks. I think I was about 45 the first time I did, which got me thinking about my own retirement. Geographically where to live if moving/downsizing? Whereabout in that region/town to live? What kind of property?
Although my circumstances changed hugely within that time, sometimes for the better, sometimes not, I still had to 'fill my time'.' I looked back at the things I enjoyed before work totally took over and things that I'd fancied doing but never had the opportunity to start. I started looking for local courses in local craft hubs or at college, August is the perfect month for college investigating.
I'm not physically active so walking daughter's dog first thing in the morning is a reason to get up. And I do love my Fitbit, it nags me to get off my backside.
Finally there are 4 local very active U3As accessible to me by bus or car with a myriad of opportunities. (Yes I am preparing for the day I can't drive anymore) U3A is my plan B for when I don't have enough to do.
Sue, imagine you are talking someone else through this period. Good luck.

Sue - It's a personal thing, but when I retired at 55 I had enjoyed my job, but it was the company of my work colleagues that I missed most.
So I tried to build up other friendships.
Perhaps that's your main need?

Why do many retirees join yoga groups, volunteering, National Trust, English Heritage, UC3 blah blah. They all smack of 'end of life' interests. How about water skiing or rowing, riding or something similar. Volunteering seems to be endemic amonst retirees.

The OP has another thread ‘Sister Issues” which might help to explain further.p