The Black Dog Gang

Jacksprat... I can identify with that. I've had depression for about 30 years. I changed medication a few months ago, and am on Mirtazapine (30mg). I felt very much better after a few weeks, but then I've been low and anxious again. I put it down to Christmas, the stress of it all, and the fact of being out of a routine. The GP suspects the same thing (a GP I've seen only twice ever, for 5 minutes each time, so I don't think she really knows).

I'm hoping that once I get back to work (Tuesday) and see other people/have a reason to get up and get going, I'll start to feel better again.

Do you work? Have family?

Would love to join your discussion.
Have suffered from Clinical Depression on and off for 45 years. Tried many ADs and finally found one that worked. Have managed to maintain a tolerable level of Depression for the last 12 years and thought I no longer needed meds. How wrong I was. Lasted 3 months before crawling to GP in tears asking for urgent help.
This was last winter. Went back on meds and after a few months started to feel normal again. This winter has been very difficult. Started feeling low and Anxious in September. Increased meds and felt better. Since new year I’ve felt terrible. Chills, hot sweats, upset stomach, severe depression and anxiety. Wish I had never stopped taking meds as I am now so unstable.

downtoearth you are suffering such grief , betrayal is so hard to bare, please don’t apologise, talk to us as often as you need please x

Just want to curl up and not be here anymore,everything just seems so bleak and grey and scary,wish I could get rid of the tight knot of anxiety,that makes me feel sick and hurts like a physical pain,I want to feel safe and happy again,and nor have my waking hours and my dreams when I sleep filled with anxiety and doubt,I have lost me,am mot sure I deal with it much longer,the person who was my rock betrayed me in the worst way,and now I have sunk so low,I am not sure I can climb back up again....sorry for bringing you all down with me.

Only meant I know how you feel re motivation. Not in any way belittling your losses.

Lynne and Miss A I know exactly how you feel! I lack the motivation to get out of bed and the thought of going out socially exhausts me before I start If it wasn't for my DH I think I would just stay in bed. During the night I have my Radio on with in ear headphones. Radi 4, R4 Extra and the World Service have kept me going for a year or more. to you both and all others suffering.

Miss A, I believe you are onto something there....there more chins, the more depressed. Yes an interesting theory.

Namnanny......write away my friend. I am super miserable. Perhaps we could play a Top Trumps type game of who can outdo each other?

Hello everyone, just found this thread. I'm on a roller coaster of a day. Too rough to write It all down. Plus I don't want to break up the positivity that is building for everyone.

Things just seem too hopeless to hope for better.

I also have a few chins..
Wonder if there is a connection between chins and depression?

Yes, that's one of my main issues. I can barely be bothered with anything; I just seems to take so much energy to even try.

Thanks, oldbatty......

I've got a few chins myself . I've been pottering about, doing boring housework. Him Indoors has gone for a walk. We're seeing friends this evening, and going to the pub (I drive so don't drink), where there's a duo playing. I have to force myself to go to places - but when I'm there, I enjoy myself, usually. It's a huge effort to get myself motivated to go anywhere at all lately - are any of you the same?

aw Lynne, that doesn't sound great. Chin up old girl!!! Chins in my case.

I've just watched Luther (love it, sorry it's ended) and have taken my Mertazapine plus an antihistamine, so I'll be drowsy in an hour or so...... I actually feel much happier when I'm in bed (and often wish I could just stay there and never wake up). Tomorrow's another day to get through, and we'll all do it x

Just discovered this forum and am sitting crying at some of the posts! It is a bad time of year for depression sufferers, hopefully the 'nights going out' will help us.
I use the 'tapping' that was mentioned previously. I have found it a godsend, as you can do it anytime anyplace and you are in control of your healing.
I have used meditation in the past. I often write down what I feel, or turn it into a poem - I find this very helpful.
I also listen to talking books to help me to sleep/overcome stressful situations.
I have had years of counselling,probably wouldn't be here without it. With a good counsellor, it is like putting down that heavy burden you have been carrying for years.
Good luck everyone!

I see things moving on the TV, mostly dust.

Hello, friend.
Don't we all live so far apart though?
Sometimes I would like someone near me to look at and know they get what I'm laughing at, or to make eye contact when something moving is on the tv.

pops up Here I am!!!

It was lovely. It felt like a face to face conversation with a friend.
I'm very low on friends, sadly.

Not silly MissAdventure you reached out , that’s good

I have my music on today, and my mood has lifted a bit, and silly as it sounds. I had a lovely little conversation on here in the early hours about music, and that really cheered me.

How is everyone today? I am longing to get back to work next week (I work 2 days a week), after being off since December 21st.....far too long a break.

I did some ironing, vacuuming, boring stuff today, but played my favourite music (an assortment of genres), snag loudly (the neighbour was out), and met my friend for coffee this afternoon.

Tomorrow...that's another day to find things to do. I find that if I keep busy and/or find distractions, I'm fine. How do you cope with this horrible black dog?

My outspoken friend tells me "You've lost your personality. That's what you've done since she died!"
She is exactly right though.

To those of you who are bereaved....I'm so sorry. I won't say anything crass like I know what you are going through, because I don't.

A friend of mine (she's 61) mourns her daughter who died suddenly at the age of 26, 11 years ago. (It was put down to Sudden Adult Death Syndrome).

I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Kind thoughts to those of you who have lost loved ones. x

And MissA and old batty, sorry I missed you out, didn't read your posts initially xx

Virtual hugs for downtoearth and Annie, you're both in my thoughts xx