The Black Dog Gang

Hi Dawn don’t think I will ever be my self again but I will keep trying as we do... I have very little contact with family, sadly we cannot pick them.. I see my two brothers and love them very much.. I come from a family of 6 brothers and 2 sister there was 11 al in all with mum and dad sadly no longer with us, lost our dad at the age of 46 Christmas Eve.. still miss him so much the rest well that’s history and we really do have to move on the best we can.. hope you have a good friend, I have we have been friend 58 we are always there for one another she is more like my sister.. I have my own three children and 5 beautiful grandkids that really do keep going .

Dawn that should be 58 years

May I join? There have been times when I could barely face getting out of bed each morning. I always forced myself but it's not easy. Psychologically I find the weekends more difficult as I can go from Friday to Tuesday without speaking to another person. I put on a brave face and try to keep busy.

lovebeigecardigans please join us, we are all here to support and give support . I understand why you find weekends difficult, isolation is hard . I see my younger granddaughter once every 7 to 10 days , the only time I have a chat and laughter . Today was an exception my elder granddaughter called in, she came up from Cornwall for two days.

May I ask how you fill your days ?

Lovebeigecardigans, I cannot for one min understand how you must feel, sounds like you Have some very long lonely days. The mornings or always the worst for me with the anxiety. Do you go out much, I try and go for a walk every day if only for half a hour, some times I can’t do it no matter how I try, but I really do try and feel better for it..it’s very good support on hear. Wellcome

How is everyone feeling today. I'm here trying you distract myself, after having my antidepressants in the cupboard a week, I've managed to take a quarter of a tablet about an hour ago, I know I'm useless and should have just taken the whole damn thing, but my phobia has been awful this last week, just thinking about the side effects of the tablet has made me feel ill and very irritable dh and I had a big fall out yesterday over the TV of all things, that's what's spurred me to take it this morning. I'll let you know how I get on.Hope you lovely ladies are having a less anxious day than me.

Katyj you are not useless, no difference you fearing the medication than me fearing stepping outside the front door.

No, I think it’s harder for you, if I step outside I can swifly step back in . You are brave, please believe this .

I will be around throughout the day , except 11 to 12 when I have a therapy session.

Hugs x

Aww thanks Annie. It's all so irrational it's crazy .I'm such a down to earth, practical person in real life, just this other part of me that takes over. I'm not feeling too bad, just been for a walk, my tinnitus is worse, but that could be the anxiety. Good luck with your therapy session.Let me know how it goes .

Katyj phobias are irrational but they are hell for those with phobias. They are so real. Many people have phobias so there are many, many irrational people .

The top phobia is fear of spiders , this is accepted as normal because so many fear them. I couldn’t care less about spiders .

You were very brave taking that medication this morning, braver than me, I am trying to pick up the courage to walk half way down the front path, how irrational is that for a person who once wanted to drive alone to Italy to see the Turin Shroud, who loved walking holidays, climbing mountains?

You will come through this , I was so fearful of my therapy session today I got the time wrong, it’s 1.30,

Hugs for a brave friend x

Hello all..
I've not been posting here because, well, every day is a struggle really, and I'm not sure where I go from here except to get on with it, and try and make the best of it.
I think I may need to trip to the docs to get some anti depressants again.
I stopped them as I was having a problem with sweating; not sure if they were the cause, but I suspect it was more of an anxiety issue.

I think the crux of the matter is that I still don't feel ready to face life, and yet I have to.
I don't want to keep clean, and brush my teeth and go to work, but I have no choice.
See? I'm in full 'misery' mode, hence feel I can't support anyone else.

Sending love to all, though.

MissAdventure to you too. x

MissAdventure .. when I am overly anxious I have a problem with sweating. Please go to the doctor again. I have been taking anti-depressants for years .. they keep me on a more or less even keel. Thinking of you. All the best xx

To all on here - you're not useless. Sometimes life can be tough. I will definitely try to go out walking again, weather permitting. It will enable me to tick the box 'exercise' for today.

Thank you.
I will make an appointment, I think.
It would help if I had a nice gp but I can't stand the woman!
Still, I'm sure I can get past that and try and sort myself out a bit.
Now isn't that strange (or not!) My hands have started to sweat at the thought.

I have never been an anxious person; where has this come from, do you think?

I feel I've had a personality transplant since my daughter died.
I barely recognise myself these days.

MissAdventure* that makes what you are feeling so understandable. So sorry.

The gp might well turn out to be much nicer than you think. Definitely give it a go.

MissAdventure I can’t be the person I was before my elder daughter died, I don’t know ‘me’ now .

Give your GP another go, you are seeing her for YOU not for her.

Thanks gonegirl

Can anyone answer a question for me, please?
Regarding anxiety; could I have symptoms of it, although not actually feeling anxious, if you know what I mean?

I rarely feel anxious, rarely worry, and overall I'm a reasonably 'together' sort of person, but could I still have anxiety?

I never really dread anything happening, I'm confident in almost every situation, so I'm a bit at a loss where the sweaty issue may have come from?

Exactly so, Annie i feel like a half person now.
It's as if half of me was drained away.

Miss adventure please have a trip back to the Dr, a young friend of mine developed terrible sweating, the Dr changed her tablets and she's fine now, I can't remember which one it was, but when I was Googling my Ad there was one that included sweating in the side effects. Hopen you feel better asap

MissAdventure half of you was taken away , probably more than half .

Ask the GP about the sweaty incidences , you can also ask your self when they come on you ‘what was I thinking ?’

Well, I haven't had any since I left the job. (I think maybe I put too much pressure on myself, trying to be everything to everyone)
I just don't want them back again.

That’s a positive x

Got therapy now, gulp.

Behind you all the way, Annie, giving you a gentle push, as you do to me.

I think if you suffer from anxiety you tend to get 'butterflies' in your tummy. A general feeling of dread. They used to call it 'floating anxiety'. (Not about anything in particular. Just the way you are at that moment)

Could be depression without the anxiety MissAdventure They don't have to go together.

My fluoxetine has been pretty good for both things.