Why are men reluctant to seek medical advice when they feel they may have problems developing?

My OH first had prostate problems when he was 60. A benign enlargement was diagnosed and corrected. Fast forward 10 years and again problems reared again! This time, after various tests, prostate cancer was diagnosed! The complete removal of the prostate was recommended and duly performed. For five years of regular blood tests all was well till once again cancer reared its head in the bed of the prostate. Two years of watchful (stressful) waiting has culminated in six weeks of daily radiotherapy, which OH finished two weeks ago!! Hopefully this time the 'dragon' has been slain, but we won't know for three months, so more waiting!! Grandad, whatever you may think of my politics, I really would advise you to at least have a blood test as at that will put your mind at rest one way or the other. Even our son has agreed to that - under pressure!!

Rufus as far as I know a PKR consists of only replacing part of the knee. There's a surprise! Only parts that are damaged or worn, e.g. only the damaged part of the cartilage rather than the whole lot.
You're lucky if you haven't problems with your replacements. I've had two and the first one was royally bodged. I reckon a student did it!

Elegran; Thanks! Just needed to establish a few guidelines. Back in the good old days of B/W TV I couldn't face up to watching anything medical ( I think "Emergency Ward 10" and "Your life in their Hands") were all the go then, but with colour TV I was gone! However, with Vera's help I learned to toughen up and was able to gradually lower my hands from my eyes. Even watched eye operations without blinking!
Now I'm battle hardened, but tend to forget some people feel a bit squeamish about certain procedures; as the prog said "Your Life in their Hands" and the only part patients can play is to get into those hands as soon as poss.
I'm available for private consultation if necessary; at no cost!

Do men see themselves as too important to be kept waiting in a surgery? Seems some want to choose day, time of day, why not go private ?

That's true, Annie Those who ignore their symptoms for long enough won't be seen dead at the surgery - they'll be seen dead in the morgue (but their mourning families will be at the surgery for medication to relieve their distress)

It could be, Rufus, that you are in danger of going to the opposite extreme - thoroughly putting off those who are not keen on discussing their innards instead of encouraging them to make any mention them at all!

When your dead Grandad1943, you won’t need the surgery so free yourself of the worry to be seen dead there.

Elegran; "Bring back conscription" brings back many happy memories of stripping off years and years ago for what was, and maybe still is, called an FFI
If anyone has"a bit to spare", or better still "a lot", then a "pseudo cyst on the pancreas" op. would help. I'd love to tell all about it if anyone has the stomach, but it's really nothing to be afraid of; just give me a nod.

Kathyd; Thanks for that, although having "survived" 2xTKRs, both still excellent after several years and one arthroscopy (waste of time), medical staff are always impressed that I can converse in medical acronyms, but PKR,? I know what it means, but what's involved if it's not an arthro.?

I am pleased that the thread did what you were hoping it would. Four of our resident men have contributed, and it seems that not all men are reluctant to consult their GP, which is good news.

Elegran, I would agree with Rufus that this thread has brought out in its discussions precisely the attitude of many men regarding seeking medical attention when they feel they have something developing. I feel the thread has also has demonstrated that being able to talk to other men regarding medical problems seems to be very important to many of us.

In the above, men in retirement would appear to lose regular contact with other males more readily than women, and that may add to their reluctance to seek out medical attention even when they realise it is required.

I hope the thread will generate further discussion on that problem as I would be the first to admit to having an attitude to my GPs surgery of "I would not wish to be seen dead down there". That coming from someone who has spent the last thirty-three years in industrial safety may sound strange and something I do not understand myself.

Many thanks to forum members who have expressed concern for Steph one our companies Assignment Controllers. I have been working away from the office today, but I have been told that she came into the office this morning "looking awful" which is making many of us think that this may be more than just the start of the menopause.

I believe some were advising her to go to A&E but she managed to obtain an appointment with her GP for 17:30 this evening.

To the forum member who asked what Assignment Controller is/does, I will try to explain that in another post as I have only just arrived home myself.

Rufus - PKRs = partial knee replacements. TKRs = total knee replacements.

Services experience does seem to inure men to stripping off and being examined. "Bring back conscription!" perhaps, for the sake of the health of half the nation?

Your wife is right about her weight being blamed a lot, though, Neil That seems to be the advice whatever the problem, even from GPs who themselves are hardly sylphlike. I have heard that in fact, being a bit more well-covered can be a boon when you do fall ill, as you have a bit of spare to lose before you get too thin - which is a hazard in itself.

Good man!

I have to disagree, every six months I have my “MOT”, blood pressure, blood test, weight, height etc with the doctor, well nurse actually but she would not hesitate to refer me if needed and, on the are occasions anything feels ‘odd’ I go fir a checkup, however I am fit, swim, walk, cycle everywhere and look after my weight, unlike my wife who is HUGELY resistant to do anything about her health arguing always that the doctor (she insists on seeing the female senior practitioner who is part time, elderly and hardly ever available) will just put it down to “her weight”. Even getting her to go for a flu jab was a bit of a struggle. I think mybservice career, where nudity, needles and regular fitness checks were the norm lead me to just always take care of myself.

Elegran; This thread has been running just a few days and it looks as if it's going the way you hoped, unless I'm mistaken. I'm not sure how explicit the accounts of various problems should be, but so far they appear to be not overly '"medical" yet detailed enough to persuade anyone in doubt to see a doctor asap; don't wait until it's too late.
I don't know, of course, how many Grandads would be taking notes from my prostate presentation; it could be made more graphic if requested and the same goes for my "pseudo-cyst on the pancreas", sounds like the name of a posh hotel, but in my opinion, real-life accounts from people who have "been there, done that" are much better at persuading anyone to forget their inhibitions than general sermons preaching platitudes.
As we all know, men are very good at interpreting sermons
as nagging and selective hearing kicks in.
Anyway, it's way past my bedtime, so this little ostrich is donning his nightcap, which happens to fit by the way and will shortly be burying his head beneath the doona.
Night, night everyone.

My father surprised me in old age. He was robustly proud of his good health. He didn't need to visit the doctor for over 30 years and I never remember him being ill, except occasional blinding headaches, which I am convinced were migraine, although he was outraged when I suggested that to him. I have had migraine since early childhood.

However, as an extremely old man (85+), after he was widowed, he always took up his annual invitation to attend a Well Man clinic at his surgery and they picked up his bladder cancer in its very early stages so that it never fully developed. He lived to be 92, still hale and hearty until his last final illness, in which his bladder cancer played no part.

I suspect he was so good about his annual check-ups because, for much of his adult life he was in the army and army life included regular medical check-ups, so I think it was just second nature in him to respond to an 'invitation' to an annual check up as obey an order, when he was in the army to report to the MO for his regular army health check.

I did explain that the post was to Grandad, not you, Rufus but if the cap fits, wear it.

but the message is to all ostriches
Elegran; Come, Come! Are you calling Grandad and myself ostriches?

Should have been to Grandad not Rufus but the message is to all ostriches.

Rufus Sheneeds to ask herself (and so do those men whose heads are firmly in the sand) which is better/worse?

Dry rot specialists tackling a small outbreak of rot, removing it and treating the surrounding woodwork so that any spores are destroyed, and joiners and decorators in making good the damage so that the house is as good as new and will stand for a lifetime.

or

The cellar door firmly closed on the dry rot in the basement, which will reach the attic in a year or so and mean that the house will have to be completely rebuilt.

And neglected people are not so easily completely rebuilt as a neglected house.

working life prevents booking those examinations
Grandad; "They" are very silly if not downright stupid. Nobody's job is that important, nor is anybody indispensable, but it's just as important for any company to facilitate the maintenance of an employee's health where ever they might be, as you know, especially when there is every chance that only half a working life is the outcome. .
Btw; What's an Assignment Controller?

I think you've hit the nail on the head, Elegran - men don't like to show weakness. There's the fear that something awful will be found BUT if you don't do anything about it it won't disappear all by itself will it?
It's all part of being male and the need to appear strong. We have to help them to overcome this but it's difficult.
When my dear late husband began to show symptoms of MND he waited six months before seeing the GP. Going sooner wouldn't have made any difference, his illness was still as terminal, incurable, etc. All it would have saved was puzzlement as to what was happening. We would still have worried.

Surgeries open seven days a week? More receptionists, more nurses, more doctors.

Believe you me I’ve tried OldMeg I can’t just drag him there . He knows deep down that he should go but he’s frightened of what they will say . Other ( very rare) visits to GP have ended up very serious . I knew he would disappear first thing this morning to avoid me I thought I’d catch him at work but he’s gone already . I’m at my wits end and not sure what else I can do . No one else to turn to really .