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OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

(937 Posts)
Luckygirl Tue 26-Mar-19 10:35:34

As many of you will know, OH has had PD for many years and is very frail. He only weighs 6.5 stone. Sadly he fell yesterday and has a displaced fracture of his femur. He is not a good candidate for surgery - but there is no choice.

It is a worry that the ward do not have the air mattress that he needs and that he has at home - we had just got on top of the skin problem. He was on a trolley for 12 hours yesterday which will not have helped.

I am waiting to hear when the op will be.

Alygran Sun 07-Jul-19 12:15:28

Lucky I was thinking about you earlier and am sorry now to read your latest updates. I cannot offer any advice but just wanted to send you hugs and flowers. Take care of yourself.

kittylester Sun 07-Jul-19 12:20:56

I agree with maw and also send you lots of love and hugs.

I wish we could do something to help.

Charleygirl5 Sun 07-Jul-19 13:06:06

Can it not be argued that DH's primary level of care is a health need and therefore paid for by SSD?

I am sure I remember he developed pressure sores and that is nursing care would you not agree?

It is a nightmare for you.

merlotgran Sun 07-Jul-19 13:17:36

It's so awful, Luckygirl, I really feel for you. When DD was having hallucinations due to toxins building up in her system, the need to go to the loo increased and as she insisted on walking, I had to juggle the drain bag, drip (sometimes) and syringe driver. This would sometimes go on all night so by the time she agreed to go into the hospice I was exhausted.

They're not themselves but no matter how often you tell yourself that, you just want it to be over no matter how much you love them sad

Thinking of you every day.

nanaK54 Sun 07-Jul-19 13:33:20

I'm also thinking of you and sending kindest thoughts flowers

Jane10 Sun 07-Jul-19 14:36:23

Oh Luckygirl ??? and heartfelt good wishes.

Chloesgranny Sun 07-Jul-19 16:27:37

Might it be worth getting in touch with either or both of these charities to see if you could get some help with the cost of Carers and general support? doctorshelp.co.uk and the Royal Medical Benevolent Fund. Thinking of you and hoping you have a quieter night.

Luckygirl Sun 07-Jul-19 20:03:08

Thank you for that chloesgranny - I tried the Med Benevolent Fund and they only deal with practising doctors still on the GMC register. I will take a look at the other link.

cornergran Sun 07-Jul-19 20:53:35

I’ve no words to help lucky but do think of you often and as ever hope that there is help for you both. Sending love.

Bellanonna Sun 07-Jul-19 20:55:21

No advice Lucky but still thinking of you. ?

dragonfly46 Sun 07-Jul-19 21:00:26

Thinking about you Lucky sorry I can’t help.

aggie Sun 07-Jul-19 21:10:48

I am so sorry to read how things have deteriorated xxx

grannyqueenie Mon 08-Jul-19 01:04:53

lucky, I am so sad reading how things are going for you at the moment. I can’t imagine how you are still managing to cope with such an awful situation. Thinking of you flowers

Luckygirl Mon 08-Jul-19 10:17:25

I just feel like giving up here. Just been to GP to get results of right knee MRI and I have a fracture of base of femur in the knee joint + inflammation + osteoporosis + arthritis. I ask myself did I need this just now on top of everything else? No wonder I am in such pain. If I finish up not being able to drive I might throw in the towel.

Callistemon Mon 08-Jul-19 10:29:13

Oh dear, Luckygirl that must be the final straw. You simply cannot struggle on like this. Is this an old fracture which has re-set wrongly and what does the GP recommend?
As the saying goes 'put on your own oxygen mask before you help someone else'.

flowers

cornergran Mon 08-Jul-19 10:35:47

Just a gentle hug lucky, I'm lost for words and so sorry for your situation. Hope the GP washable to offer intervention options as of course he/she understands your situation well.

Jane10 Mon 08-Jul-19 11:33:22

Surely this is is the last straw? How can you possibly be expected to carry on as you are? What would happen if you just gave up? This must be an emergency! Where are your daughters? Where's the SWD? What's the GP going to do about the situation?

loopyloo Mon 08-Jul-19 11:57:52

And what treatment has the GP suggested for your knee? Also, is there not some sort or sedation that your husband could have?

jura2 Mon 08-Jul-19 12:02:21

oh my- not been on GN due to visitors and OH in hospital again - I am so sorry to hear that.

Yes, you need a meeting with daughters and GP and care team - you can't go on like this. Hugs xxx

Jane10 Tue 09-Jul-19 20:08:26

How are things luckygirl?

grannyactivist Tue 09-Jul-19 20:23:52

Lucky - I'm so sorry that life is so difficult for you just now. flowers

SueDonim Tue 09-Jul-19 20:25:46

This is shocking, Luckygirl. I'd like to say it's unbelievable but having just gone through the experience of my sister's illness and death from brain cancer, I am not surprised. There was nowhere to turn. It's as if once the NHS has decided you can't be cured, you're an embarrassment to them and they want you off their books.

My sister spent her last weeks worrying that she would live longer than six weeks and have to find the money for her own care. It's inhumane. angry

I'm so sorry you now have more concerns about your own health, too. I wish I could do something to help.

kittylester Tue 09-Jul-19 21:33:47

I've only just caught up lucky. Can your dh go back to the hospice while your leg is sorted out.

A discussion with your daughters sounds in order. It is probably impracticable for them to give you much in the way of help but a bit of brainstorming wouldn't go amiss!

((((hugs))))

merlotgran Tue 09-Jul-19 21:48:06

Oh heck, Luckygirl You must dread what each day might bring.

Hopefully, there will be a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel soon.

Jane10 Tue 09-Jul-19 21:49:36

It may be impracticable but this is their parents in a time of dire need. Sorry to sound harsh but it's time for those girls to get going and help them in whatever way they can.