OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

Lucky I am so shocked to read your post today. Shocked beyond measure. You are incredibly generous in your assessment of the staff, but I’m afraid being polite and meaning well doesn’t cut it with me. And it is surely not “unfailingly kind” to leave his food and drinks beyond his reach, nor to dress him after a bed bath in soiled clothing.

I’m appalled, to be honest, and I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I can only echo others’ suggestions of securing the services of a carer for him if that is within your means.

I do so hope the poor man can be moved to a more suitable and comfortable ward soon. You are all in my thoughts

Morning lucky. I hope you have a better day.

lucky so sorry to hear this. I cannot add anything except to say my thoughts are with you and your DDs.

Thinking of you this morning as you start another day of trying to do the right thing for your husband. You are a strong, loving wife and I'm full of admiration for you. xx

Lucky I agree with every word Bathsheba has said and today you must attempt to have another word with the PD nurse and get him moved TODAY. The care is appalling or non existent- please make a fuss before it goes too far.

You also do not want him to dislocate his new hip because he has struggled to do something and has had no nursing help.

I am meeting the PD nurse on the ward today at 2 pm to discuss moving him to the ward the age care consultant (who also deals with PD and who knows OH well) is in charge of. I hope to be able to get this moving asap. And I will ask to speak to the consultant about the plan going forward.

My reluctance to complain at this stage is because the poor care is basically due to the staffing levels, over which the nurses have no control and with which I am sure they are equally frustrated; but I will be spelling it all out to the powers that be as soon as he is out of there.

I ask the nurses for something and they set off to do it but are waylaid by other patients all clamouring to have their needs met - and TBH they often simply forget what they were meant to be doing for OH. I have to go back and remind them all the time and they look so embarrassed about it.

My OH is lucky in that one of us is there with him from lunchtime onwards and we fight his corner.

I feel very sorry for the son of one of the patients, as the son clearly has a bit of an intellectual deficit but can see that things are not right for his father and deals with it in a rather aggressive way and is very distressed, which causes problems in the 4-bed bay. I am sure the nurses sigh as he walks in. He is right to be distressed, but his noisiness does not seem to help. And there are other patients who have no-one.

Glad to hear you’ve enlisted some support in getting your husband moved somewhere more geared up to his particular needs. Your previous work experience will inform your understanding both of the nursing problems and the needs of other patients too, you’re a wise woman. But seeing things from all sides isn’t easy, keep looking after yourself too!

Lucky you need to find out who his named nurse is. It is unforgivable if they keep forgetting things they had planned to do for him. One can perhaps expect one small mistake but not the number that goes on there.

That does sound a good plan meeting the PD nurse this pm. She sounds as if she cares.

What type of ward is he on? I am well aware of patient confidentiality etc. but he must not be in a 4 bedded bay with anybody who has the hint of an infection.

It’s been a horrific situation lucky, there seems hope for a move to a more understanding and better staffed ward which is a positive this morning. Once you have energy please do feed back your observations, for the sake of those who have no one to fight on their behalf. In spite of it all I hope your husband is progressing. Good luck for your meeting with the PD nurse and best wishes to you all.

I think Luckygirl has it absolutely right. Not much point complaining right now. In order for a nurse to do all that they should be doing for one patient it would need them to ignore how many others? It's a workforce planning issue. It's an inappropriate ward for her DH to be in but there could be serious bed blocking in the ward he should be moved to. No easy solutions other than family being there to ensure he gets the care he really needs. Fingers crossed he can be moved ASAP.

I am sure you are handling the situation in the way that is best for your OH and hope he is able to be moved to a more appropriate ward soon. I found it very difficult to complain when my mother was in hospital for weeks, for the very reasons you mention Luckygirl. I felt sorry for most of the overworked staff whose morale was low, but was also very concerned about her care. The ward basically functioned due to agency staff because of the shortage of NHS nurses. I was shocked to find many of them travelled several hundred miles, staying a few days. They informed me the pay and expenses more than compensated and they could not manage on NHS rates!

Hope ou can get him moved today or asap. It must be awful for all of you- and I feel real sympathy for staff too- as they must be aware and feel bad that the conditions just do not allow them to look after patients properly.

How lucky he is to have you, and the kids, ensuring he does get excellent and loving care- and are all batting for him.

hugs- hope you get some sleep and rest tonight.

I have just got back from the hospital - it has truly been a nightmare - the indignities and poor care are legion - I could not even list them - it just goes on and on.

Someone arrived on the ward - a "discharge nurse" - and informed me that he was being discharged today within the next hour to a community hospital for rehab. Just like that! No prior discussion.

I talked with the PD nurse (whom I trust) and she recommended the unit where he is going - about 40 mins from us.

So..........a young man came and took all his medications from his locker. I asked him who he was and he said he was from the pharmacy. Why are you taking his meds? - to organise the ones to take with him. Fine. About half an hour later I went to the nurses' station and he was still there with OH's meds in front of him and laughing and joking with everyone.

And then......the ambulance men arrive and say that they have to take him in the next 15 mins as the unit will not accept patients after 6 pm. Ah...but now it seems he can't go because he has no meds to take with him - they are all in the pharmacy. Right - so I offer to wait for the meds and follow on with them - no, that is not allowed. Ambulance men take pity on us and say they will wait an extra 15 minutes to see if the drugs appear.

In the meantime, because his meds are in the pharmacy along with the drugs card, he misses his PD meds time and no-one seems able to retrieve them so he can actually take what he needs.

So, then I am trying to hold a rigid, trembling man in the chair where he has been put - this continues for more than an hour. He is jack-knifed over in a heap.

We have a long and tense wait for the meds to arrive, while the frustrated ambulance men have a cup of tea. I then see them vanishing down the corridor - trip aborted apparently - does anyone tell us? - not for a very long time.

I then ask that he be put in bed; and that his sacrum be creamed - he was in pain from it. I wait, and I wait and I wait and eventually a lovely HCA comes and says she is trying to get a turn with the hoist; half an hour later she has bagged the hoist, but it takes 2 to operate it. Half an hour later she has both hoist and second person - hooray!

They lug him into bed and place a bottle on his penis with him lying on his side and clinging to the bed rail as he is frightened he is going to fall. He remains like this with me supporting him for half an hour at least, during which time I nip out 3 times to tell them he is in distress and needs help. Eventually they appear and we get him lying comfortably. And then he needs his PD meds - he needs them when he needs them and not when someone is free to try and find them. So another half hour passes whilst these are tracked down and I give them to him.

He has been quite paranoid all day and has a new prescription for a small dose of an anti-psychotic (something he would not want to be taking, I know) - I am utterly convinced that the reason he is in a muddle is partly because of the chaos that surrounds him, but also because he is dehydrated.

I am sorry to ramble on - I am tired and overwrought and have been there nearly all day fighting his corner. What a mess. I just have to hope that the new unit will be better.

Oh my God!!! Something seriously needs to be done about that hospital. You should send that last post of yours to the local paper.

You poor thing. Please get a good night's sleep now.

Oh God, Luckygirl. Your post makes terrible reading. Your poor DH and poor you. You really must complain but I'm sure you won't want to until your OH is safe in a rehab hospital.

I do hope tomorrow is a better day. Try and get some sleep tonight and look after yourself.

That sounds utterly dreadful and incompetent of the hospital

I really recommend that you call the PALS office (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) located at this hospital and complain about this treatment and demand to be included in future care planning

My heart totally goes out to you. This is beyond appalling and when you have recovered from this trauma you MUST take it up with PALS.
I could offer all sorts of advice but what you need now is a hug, some rest and hopefully some peace of mind regarding the future treatment for your DH.
There are no words strong enough to decry this complete shambles- I did experience similar things with my late DH and I too fought, kicked ass and ranted like a harpy on his behalf.
But now you need someone to put their arms round you and help you bear this dreadful burden.

Bless you. What a shocking catalogue of neglect, and how much the poor man is suffering unnecessarily. The new unit has to be better, it surely cannot be worse. Try to get some rest now. Hope he's moved tomorrow. xx

Oh Lucky my heart goes out to you and your DH. I really hope tomorrow brings more calm and order in the new hospital. Sending huge hugs.

I have no words that can make this situation better for your husband lucky, in any case as tuppnce says you don’t need advice now but rather to be cared for yourself. Wishing you a restful night, even if from exhaustion, and sending a wish that tomorrow sees an orderly transfer to a much more caring place along with a huge hug for you and your family.

Oh Lucky what an awful day you and your poor husband have had. The poor man is recovering from a big operation, suffers from PD, needs drugs - and his care seems to be minimal! Thank goodness you are there to speak on his behalf, but I'd say staff have been negligent and his care has been appalling.

The strain of it all must be incredible. I feel for you. I do hope tomorrow sees your DH moved to better surroundings and his move is without delays and frustrations.

Thinking of you. I do hope you get a good nights sleep and tomorrow is a better day for you both.

Dear Luckygirl,
I am so very sorry to hear of the appalling care your DH is receiving. To hear of this sort of treatment received under the auspices of the National Health Service is very troubling for the entire population that count on being cared for when injured and ill.
I want you to know that I am thinking of your DH , you and your family all going through this horrendous experience and hoping that he can soon be moved to a kinder, more caring hospital.
I know how stressful this is for all of you and hope he will be able to heal quickly and able to return home soon.
Hugs to you all. ??

Oh, Lucky! That's awful. So sorry. Massive Gransnet hug even though virtual support is not really enough right now.


Print your posts from here and use them in due course. That hospital admin needs pulling up short.

Orning lucky and i echo exactly what everyone else has said. Especially what baggs said about printing your posts. This is appalling. I do wish we could do more apart from listen.

When he moves to the new place it has to be better . It surely can't get worse.
Is there anyone who can help you?
It doesn't sound even as though the staff are overworked just incompetent. Bad management?
Bring back matron....