OH has fractured femur - not a good situation

Sing your heart out - it will do a power of good. x

Glad there's been some improvement Lucky, hope you get a lift from the music tonight.

I hope you're at choir as I speak, lucky. Whatever helps you will help your OH in some way too even if indirectly

I hope your DH was a little better today. Hope you enjoyed going to choir. I bet your friends were pleased to see you.

Hope you enjoyed choir lucky, it’s important to have things that ‘feed’ you so you can keep feeding your husband. Sleep well.

Morning lucky, I hope you got to sing last night and had a good sleep.

Thank you. I did have a good sing; but spent a very sleepless night. It is a hard situation to deal with at the moment.

Here is what we are up against:

- he needs his PD meds in order to stop his tremor and improve his swallowing. They are not given on time. We have to be there to remind them.
- he needs a lorezepam at 3 pm as he becomes agitated otherwise. I am constantly reminding them to give it to him.
- food is put where he cannot reach it, so we go in and help him eat.
- they did give him a bed bath yesterday, but put his dirty pjs back on when there were clean ones in the locker.
- he has sore heels and I am taking in the cavillon cream and dealing with that - heaven knows what is happening with his sacrum, as I cannot roll him to see. I have spent months getting that right after the skin broke down. He was promised inflatable troughs for his heels, but when I left 4 hours later nothing had arrived.
- he is medically unstable with dropping BP and blood results indicating some mild kidney problem. The solution to that is proper food (see above) and plenty to drink - he cannot reach his drinks either.
- he needed a bed pan yesterday evening so I got a nurse to deal with it. 30 minutes later he was still sitting on it (not great with a new hip and when you and just skin and bone). I got a nurse and explained that he needed a suppository as he uses at home. She said she could not do that as a doctor had to prescribe it - from my experience in the last week or so it takes at least half a day to get a doc.
- I have left them notes with clear instructions about which tablets are dispersible, which melt under his tongue and which need to be swallowed in a spoonful of yoghurt, but they constantly get it wrong and I find the notes screwed up in the locker. He finished up with a naso-gastric tube so they could crush the tabs and put them directly into his stomach. All they needed to do was to listen to what I am saying. OH pulled the tube out anyway after 24 hours.

I could go on....and on....and on. It is a system under terrible pressure; and I have to add that everyone is unfailingly kind and polite and mean well, but they simply do not have time - they promise to do something then someone else demands attention and they simply forget it.

I have spoken to PD nurse today and she will talk to PD consultant to see if he can be moved to her ward which is a "frailty" ward.

I am beside myself with exhaustion and would love to be able to pop in once a day and see him and not be in this situation where the DDs and I are on edge and on duty all the time.

It is sad to see - I used to work in the NHS and cannot bear it.

I am reading your post and getting increasingly angry Luckygirl and upset too on your behalf. DH's dear friend went through situations like this in our general hospital. He's now been moved to the community hospital where the nursing care is so much better. No-one took any notice of him in the general hospital when he needed the toilet (he was supposed to stay in bed) and he tried to get to the toilet, fell and fractured his pelvis.

There really is no excuse for washing a patient and putting on dirty pyjamas when there are clean ones in the locker - that is not through lack of time, it is bad practice. Food being put out of his reach is just uncaring and lazy - it is just as easy to pull the table round and put the food within his reach.

They may be under pressure but I wonder how much some of the staff care - they are certainly not all like this.

I hope your DH can be moved soon to a ward where the care is better.

Dear Lucky. Would it be possible for the family to hire a carer to be with him during the day? I have nursed people in the nhs who have had their own specialist carers.
Just to help him eat and drink and wash him would be good for a few days.
Just a thought.

Lucky I am really saddened to read about the nursing problems your husband is experiencing, both for your own situation, but also because there are many who don't have the good fortune to have someone like you who will stand their corner and ensure that they get the care they need.

My daughter is a nurse of the old fashioned 'nursing is a vocation' school. She has been both nurse and patient and says that basic standards have been dropping for years due to a combination of staff shortages, too many managers and not enough senior/experienced nursing staff - and poor recruitment and training practices. In consequence the patients don't get the same level of proper nursing care that they would have received in the past. For some (I hope most) nurses this is a matter of great concern, but with too much to do and too little time nothing is going to change any time soon.

I do hope that your husband is soon well enough to be moved into accommodation that is better for him - and for you.

That is so sad and also upsetting for you, lucky.

It has been mentioned before that talking to PALS might be a way forward. Or can you make nuisance of yourself with the Matron?

The idea of a carer isn't a bad one - maybe for half a day? Or a couple of visits!

Sending lots of hugs!

Polite doesn't really cut it when nothing changes for the better and a patient's unnecessary suffering continues. I'm so sorry it is so hard, lucky

I have nothing to add to the sensible advice from other gransnetters but I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time and just wanted to send my best wishes to you and your dh.

That is such a sad update, I do hope that your DH can be moved to a ward that is better suited to his needs
I continue to send kind thoughts

Oh dear. This is just a terrible situation to be in for your OH and for you. It's sounds as if it would be more appropriate for him to be moved to the ward which has been mentioned where they are more able to deal with his needs, rather than a busy acute ward where he is. I do hope this happens. I know how difficult it is as a relative to try and be assertive about care, or lack of it. As others have said PALS are an option, personally I didn't find them great when my mother was in, but it is their job to address the situation for you. I would write everything down about your OHs care that concerns you, and hand a copy to nurse in charge of the ward, and also PALS. It's much harder to ignore concerns when they have them in black and white, and may form the basis of a future complaint.

Luckygirl I do apologise for appearing to be on your back all of the time but you are more than well aware what will happen and how long it takes to heal if DH's skin breaks at heels and/or sacrum. It is also very painful.

He should have a named nurse caring for him. I would ask her (and more if necessary) to help you to turn him with two pillows between his legs so that you can inspect his sacrum and see if there is a pressure sore.

You must put the problems in black and white- that is the only way something will be done. It is sheer negligence positioning food and drink where he cannot reach it. The staff are on a one-way track to being sued.

I’m upset and angry on your behalf lucky. Nothing to add to sensible other peoples thoughts do just sending love to you both.

oh lucky, I just have no words to express what I want to say.
What is happening to the NHS is beyond the beyond.
I am so so sorry xxx hugs.

Is this the Emergency ward or Orthopaedic ward, Luckygirl?
If it is the emergency ward then, in my experience, they can be understaffed and rather chaotic but other, more specialised wards may be much better. I do hope that your DH can change wards as soon as he is able to be moved.

You could speak to volunteer services. They might be able to send a mealtime companion to give you a bit of a break?

Hospitals have their own DBS checked volunteers who are allowed on the wards

There's a difference between being short staffed and being thoughtless staff. No matter how busy a nurse is there's time to put food within reach! Also, if they're doing a bed bath there's no reason to not put clean PJs on if they're to hand. Neither of these is a training issue, just a common sense matter! I noticed a difference between individual nurses when I was in hospital. Some nurses thought about what they were doing and others just flew about like headless chickens achieving less than the others but able to say how busy they were!
I hope your DH can be moved to a more appropriate ward soon.

From my experience locally older/elderly patients deemed “frail” (as surely your DH must be) are put on a special “red tray” scheme which stipulates that someone must sit with them, helping as necessary, to make sure they eat all of each meal. Patient notes also have a space to record food and fluids each day which you can check any time you are there.
The “red tray status” is indicated on the patient’s name sign, including preferred form of address, name of consultant date of arrival in that ward and estimated date of discharge.
In the Stroke Ward I have also witnessed a nurse or HCA going round the beds to chat to each patient after their main meal to ask if they ate it and enjoyed it.

Tuppnce that sounds like a good system but I think it is too sophisticated for that ward as they are so "busy". Basic nursing care is so lacking there.

Lucky I'm just very shocked that this is happening. It makes shocking reading; I had no idea things were this bad with the NHS.

Whilst it makes us cross thinking of you, your family and your poor DH, how much more distressing this is for you.

Right now you shouldn't have to be dealing with these basic caring/nursing issues, the staff should. You must be exhausted. ((Hugs))