Visiting friend who has had stroke

When I was in hospital after an operation last year a friend brought me some dry shampoo and it was a very welcome gift.There are now several different types in spray cans and I have continued to use it if in a hurry and no time to wash hair.Hand cream was the other best gift .

After a severe debilitating stroke, my mother liked to be taken out to a café for a cup of tea. She also liked a cigarette. I think it made her feel more normal, even though we could not have a conversation, we just sat there, with me speaking to her and her not understanding. I found people very helpful opening doors for me with the wheelchair, and I got to know where there were lifts and disabled toilets.

My sister was laid up two months , in intensive care for three weeks and then high dependency . Her daughter used to make sure she looked as good as she could with moisturiser.. little light make-up, making sure of ‘hair removal’ on chin ... little things her sons would not have dreamed off . But mostly massaging her feet and and painting her toe-nails and finger nails, as she was always fussy about both! I made the trip 250 miles three times a week (after work) on two trains a bus and a two taxis to see her... and every time I saw her in the best condition because of her extremely thoughtful daughter. Ask your friend if she would like the same sort of service. She may be longing for a proper wash n brush up! With her the best health as soon as possible.

Maybe some dry shampoo.I remember when my mum was in hospital for 6 weeks, there was no way her hair could be washed normally and even when she was well enough to shower alone she couldnt manage hair washing , the dry shampoo revived her hair and she said made her feel 'fresh' once more until we got her home and was able to wash her hair for her.

When my husband was in a care home after his stroke I used to get a nurse to take him out into the garden in a wheelchair if the weather was nice. I don't know if he enjoyed it or not, as he was unable to speak or understand, as he also suffered from Alzheimers, I was probably just assuming he liked it, and I definitely did. It was a nice garden with a couple of big trees, and a lot of chairs and tables. Often other people used to join us and we would have a nice chat. A nurse would bring us all tea and cake. Definitely better than sitting in his dark little room. I hope he did enjoy it. I used to take him chocolates and cheese.

I had a stroke and as a result afterwards had PTSD. Being able to get outdoors and feel and breathe fresh air was wonderful. Also headphones to listen to stories and music to distract any negative thinking. And yes, the tactility of having nails done and a hand massage is lovely and relaxing and reassuring xx

After my DF had a stroke, he spent a lot of time just gazing out of the window. Outside he could see the branch of a tree so my daughters (then 5 and 2) and I hung some peanut 'necklaces' and some fat balls on the branch. It cheered him up no end to watch all the birds that visited.

My friend really appreciated a lovely perfume ( if she has a lock up cabinet ) moisturisers hand and face , Evian face mist , and Tesco home made lemonade ! A trip to the coffee shop ( with nurse permission) or outside was a huge treat and hair brushed ! As was my list of jokes. Hand massage sounds like a brilliant idea !

I usually take some hand cream to hospital patients. Their skin gets really dry in the hospital atmosphere, and the massaging of the hands is good therapy too.

What excellent ideas here.

Personally I love my listening books, which sort of lends itself to stroke victims.

Definitely take a stroke patient outside into fresh air if confined to hospital bed.....my DH was 10 weeks inpatient and looked forward to being put in a wheelchair and given a grand tour of hospital corridors, coffee shop and even the car park! Try to do before mid afternoon, tho, as the fatigue felt by stroke patients is not to be underestimated!

My sister used to do my mum's nails for her. She was always particular about how her hands were. She also spent ages with the hand cream too. Human contact when you are in hospital is so important to some people and rather than just hold her hand it was a great idea.

On the lines of what Fennel has said - in our experience with hospitals the ward staff wont cut nails so maybe have some nail scissors and a file with you to give her a mini manicure. And then if it's something she will be able to do herself you could leave the file and hand cream with her.

(We sent a little kit of a neutral nail polish, remover and hand cream for someone who had suffered a brain injury in an accident. Later she told us how much she had appreciated it and that getting back to doing her make up and nails had been a big thing for her)

Thanks to all who responded - will post next week when I have tried some of this out.

Little and often is a good mantra for post stroke. Exhaustion takes over very rapidly!

Im a stroke survivor at age 24 and 38 the thing I most appreciated from my friends was them doing whatever we had done before with me and just continuing our relationship It was good to be read to though and a half hour visit was a goodlength of time

Music is often appreciated or a small radio for the chatter and stories to relieve some of the boredom at quiet times. I would appreciate getting off the ward if it was possible, regardless of the weather (gales, hailstones and fog are exceptions)
Hope your friend gets well soon

After my Mum had a stroke she couldn't use her right hand, or walk independently. but was otherwise 'all there'.
I used to take her out in a wheelchair shopping, which she liked. But the main thing, she asked me to use tweezers to pluck those long facial hairs which many of us get in old age.
She still took pride in her appearance. Bless her, I didn't appreciate her until after she'd gone and I got old myself.

Dont take food to a stroke ward without checking with staff

Going outside is great to relieve cabin fever but only if you can visit early. People convalescing often get very tired in the afternoons so speak to the ward staff (as they will be the ones getting her in/out of a wheelchair) and aim to get there at the very start of visiting if you plan to take her outside.

Body wash & lotion = good
Talc & lip balm = bad

Some rehab wards allow flowers but ask first

An aunt of mine loved it when people "did" her face for her - lots of moisturiser and then a little make up, (but you might not know her well enough to offer that). Maybe take some handcream and give her a hand massage.

Have you any old photos you could look through together? If you have an i-pad or similar you could look for some short youtube videos that might interest you both.

Take a little pot of fresh fruit that you can share.

The thing my daughter most appreciated when in hospital after a stroke was to be helped into a wheelchair and be pushed outside breath of fresh air we spent many a happy afternoon just sitting under a tree enjoying the breeze. Sorry about your friend maybe you could do this for her if it's possible. I hope she continues to recover.