Hypochondriac friend.

My mother rarely visited the GP but when she did so, after a bad cough that lasted weeks, and wheeziness, she was given an inhaler. 24 hours later I returned from work to find her collapsed, she died of pneumonia aged 63.

A friend of my daughter's lost her father to cancer. It apparently started as bowel cancer. He spent months visiting his GP to no avail. When he finally got them to listen, the cancer had spread widely.

A few years ago, a good friend spent months fobbed off with IBS type diagnoses, by the time ovarian cancer was found, it was too late.

Most of us know these stories and they are hard to ignore. I do think some people are more sensitive than others. Anaesthetists apparently routinely give red haired people higher doses before operations. If you do regular bodywork such as yoga or tai chi, then you are more aware if something new crops up.

Even if you don't consult Dr Google, there are many health columns in the newspapers and campaigns from the NHS asking us to take note of lumps and bumps or attend health screening. Is it any wonder that some become over anxious?

I think they really believe they have their illnesses. Feel sorry for those with serious conditions, they are usually the last to moan about them.
Border girl it must be hard for you, your poor sister had to cope with so much. To lose her hair, teeth and sight, it just isn't fair. I know people with serious conditions who never moan.
Like a lot of people I get down when I get something like sciatica, but when you compare it to something like Chrohns or other life changing conditions it's a non starter, because in time it will clear.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Well said, MawBroonsback. Crohns is horrendous. Can be seen as somewhat as an invisible illness but I've seen it firsthand and life is not easy. I'm sure all the doctor's appointments are valid. My goddaughter is there and in hospital quite regularly. She's on a liquid diet quite often, has had an ileostomy which caused her great distress, (only 26) and it's just miserable. She is regularly put on steroids which create their own side effects. The smaller symptoms such as dry eye, cramps and fatigue are exhausting and it's quite a miserable existence for many. So no, someone with Crohns is not a hypochondriac.

When I was a child I had an elderly lady as a neighbour, at every opportunity she would waylay my parents to tell them all about her latest health woes, and it got to a point where they would actively avoid her. They would have been the first to offer help if it was actually needed, but she just seemed to 'enjoy' her ill health whilst belittling her husband who was genuinely ill, and suffering from lung cancer. Having seen this it must have made quite an impression on me, as when I became disabled some 20 years ago I decided that the last thing I would do would be to constantly moan about my health, so instead I try to find things to do which give me something other than that to talk about, even though for the vast majority of time I am stuck in bed. I also try to keep in mind that there are ALWAYS people worse off than I am. This attitude leads people to say 'I don't know how you manage to keep so cheerful', so I guess the message here is that no one really wants to be dragged down by other people's health problems, we all have them, but to constantly witter on about it just pushes people away.

Icanhandthemback thanks for your reply I was wondering whether that could be the case. Its good to know.

I had a co-worker who had every illness our clients had. One day I turned up for work full off cold and struggling and when he said I should have stayed at home, I replied, #there are millions worse of than me that have no options but work.' he never had any illness after that

'Dynamo' the young illusionist from my hometown, has Crohn's Disease, poor kid.
www.bbc.com/news/uk-43554315

My husband used to call his brother a gold digging hypochondriac, always had something wrong and probably thought he could make a financial claim.

JuicyLucy Crohns Disease is a miserable and debilitating disease to suffer from, please do not lump your friend in with hypochondriacs.
It affects every aspect of your life and can have profound emotional consequences as well
Frequent, recurring diarrhoea.
Bleeding from the rectum and /or lowest portion of the large intestine that connects to the anus.
Unexplained weight loss.
Fever.
Abdominal pain and cramping.
Debilitating and absence of energy.
I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Nanny27, I had a friend who had been told she had lung cancer but would probably live to a reasonable age because, although untreatable, it was very slow growing and I did some research on it because I was a bit suspicious but there is such a cancer. She was quite relaxed about it which was a good thing...until she died within the year. It was such a shock.

I could have written your post.My generous kind friend is 13 years younger than me and she has Crohn’s disease. Every single day there is something else wrong with her last week is was tooth ache, and dry eye. She spends so much time at the drs hospital and dentist it’s laughable if it wasn’t for the fact she’s wasting valuable NHS time. If I don’t pander to her whims and listen to every little detail of what’s wrong with her she can get huffy. She seems to relish in her ailments and she’s only just 50 I think it’s an attention thing but she’s going to run out of ailments soon.

I too have a good friend, as most of you seem to have, who bores me to tears with her aches and pains. I have learnt not to ask her how she is .... but ..... does it make any difference ... no. She tells me that when she goes to the Docs ( which is often) she feels she isn’t listening to her ... I’m not surprised. The Doc must feel like I do. That said she is a good friend.

SaraC that's lovely!

I have a friend who has always had many illnesses, or so she said. I was very relieved when she moved house and lives many miles away.

I realise she is lonely and would love to have a partner to talk to about her jaw, eyes, kidney, hip etc. She has some medical knowledge so I am told about each of these illnesses in great detail. It’s sad really.

I family member told us in hushed tones that her father in law had inoperable lung cancer. That was about 6 years ago. He appears to still be living life to the full. I don't have any experience of lung cancer but it sounds rather unlikely to me. What do others think?

shysal. grin

My ex was a champion hypochondriac. If a disease of any kind was mentioned in the press or broadcast media, he definitely had it, including TB, gallstones, appendicitis, and almost anything that could possibly prove fatal. I understand that, 40 years later, he still has his gall bladder and appendix and nothing fatal has happened...yet.
I, on the other hand....

The problem is that certain aspects of health and disability are not visible. If you looked at me when I said I had 20 years of chronic disabling back pain you might think ‘Lose some weight and move around’. What you would not see is that I have an auto-immune condition attacking my liver for which I need steroids. The steroids create fat deposits around my face, neck and body. A combination of the drugs and condition cause debilitating fatigue. If I don’t take the steroids I will die. Most people with long term conditions develop coping strategies to minimise the impact on daily life which create an impression of ‘normality’.

Your friend may suffer from depression and attempt to hide it when she is with you. So I would urge you not judge her too harshly based on the way she appears to you.

I know I'm a hypochondriac but I'm certain it's caused by a brain tumour............

17th century Nun’s prayer...

Lord, Thou knowest better than I know myself that I am growing older and someday will be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Release me from the craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of wisdom, it seems a pity not to use it all but thou knowest, Lord, that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my mind free from then recital of endless details; give me wings to get to the point.

Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for grace enough to enjoy the tales of other’s pains, but help me to endure them with patience.

I dare not ask for improved memory but for a growing humility and lessening cock sureness when my memory seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet; I do not want to be a saint; some of them are so hard to live with. But a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see the good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people. And, give me, O Lord, the grace to tell them so.

Amen

My Mother wanted it read out at her funeral, which I did.
Reckon it covers the bases...

I used to go to the GP all the time until I found out what I thought was the problem from the Internet. I begged the GP who thought I was mentally ill to send me to see a rheumatoidologist , he agreed on the understanding that they probably would not want to see me. I the consultant told me the GP had written a very insulting letter about me and that I did in fact have Hughes syndrome, which later on turned into scleroderma and now the added bonus of pulmonary arterial hypertension. I now have a heart monitor implanted. I still get sick with different things, and the GPs still do not listen.

It's attention seeking and very boring for those on the receiving end. I met a woman at a funeral recently and all she talked about was her mental health. Nothing asked about me, no curiosity at all. All I could do was nod!

She should meet my husband - they have a lot in common

Have had 2 friends wrongly diagnosed by GPS so not a lot of faith in them tbh The first was given antidepressants for chest pains and told it was stress due to his father dying 4 months previously. A few months after he collapsed in the street and had major heart surgery. He survived. The second had a very bad cough for 6months and was repeatedly told by the GP it was a virus. As she deteriorated her daughter took her to A&E. They X-rayed and gave her 6mths to live as inoperable lung cancer. She died 4mths later. People are frightened by stories like this (and most people know someone who this has happened to) so are off to the doctor at the first twinge.