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Could someone tell me what happened to the post ...
I hesitate to post again with a medical issue, that’s all I seem to write about! I have suffered with anxiety in the past and CBT helped in the end. I hate all those drugs as they seem to make me end up dribbling down my front!
I went to have a procedure at hospital on Tuesday and the consultant said I seemed to be a very anxious person. I couldn’t understand how he’d come to that conclusion but thinking about it since, I am getting very anxious and wound up with my tummy in knots at every little thing.
I thought it was a virus which I’ve been suffering from in the last few weeks with headache, neck ache, eyeball ache, feeling of dread and all that but it might be more like anxiety, mightn’t it? I’m going to try and see a doctor but there are no appointments available online and I simply can’t ring up at 8 am asking for an emergency appointment (which is all that’s available) saying I’m feeling anxious!
Today I was meeting a friend at a show as a favour and her husband was coming although he’s just had a hip replacement and can’t walk far. When I got there there weren’t any parking spaces so eventually I got someone who was parked near the entrance to wait before they left so my friends could park there. I waited 25 minutes anxiously watching every car coming up the road, hoping they’d arrive in time. The kind people came and explained they had to leave but not before he’d looked all round the car park hoping to see if they’d arrived anyway. I kept ringing her mobile but it went to answerphone. I went into the venue to check again but I didn’t want to pay and enter as I was only going to keep her company and didn’t really want to go in on my own. Eventually half an hour later they arrived, by which time I was totally strung out and worked up almost to tears. I couldn’t ‘let it go’ and calm down and all the good advice in my head, I just couldn’t. It turns out they’d only set off when I was already waiting and they live about 15 miles away. I am not perfect, I can often be late but I would attempt to contact them to reassure I was on my way. I know, in my head, I should have gone in and waited comfortably but I was so keen to get them a parking place. I wish I could just think sod it and look after myself first.
Has anyone any advice or experience of how to ‘calm down and let it go’?
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The Worry Cure by Robert Leahy on Amazon.
I used to be so anxious but no-one would ever have known. Dr prescribed Citalopram which helped greatly, couldn't believe the difference.
Something else which I found wonderful was this book. I'm not one for self help books but this was recommended to me.
I have in turn recommended it to a couple of friends who also found it very helpful. When I'd read it i felt like a weight had been liffted.
I
I think you should phone the doctor for an emergency appointment
Yes I was just the same, very anxious, waiting for the slightest symptom. Keep going I was just unlucky.
I know it’s silly, half a tablet taken but I’m checking if I feel Ok! Glad to know you did the same? Someone said she did it for the first week and it seemed to ease her into it, is that how you felt?
Luckylegs.I took half a tablet to begin with, their unlikely to give you any side effects to begin with, keeping my fingers crossed for you.
Thanks again. I don’t want to bore you all but to answer some of the questions:-
I have taken Thyroxine for many years for low thyroid function. I’m anxious about my health as well a little but because I have a blood cancer which is well controlled and other health problems as well but I’ve suffered anxiety most of my life before I knew I had some of these problems so I can’t blame that.
I am in a singing group, it’s wonderful and I thoroughly enjoy it. I sincerely hope I can get there tomorrow. I love line dancing and Zumba as well but can’t go at the moment with the dizziness.
The whole point is her phone was dead so I couldn’t ring or text her or her me. This is often the case with her.
I’ve been given 50 mg Sertraline, just got them yesterday but the pharmacist said take in the mornings. I am, of course, very nervous about taking them because of the side effects and one reviewer advised taking half a tablet a day for the first week which might help ease me into it, I’ve therefore just taken half. Oh God! I’m so nervous about it!
Sorry if I’ve missed anything, I don’t want to drone on any more about myself. I’m going to look at all your suggestions, thank you so much.
Seajaye has described some of the techniques that I was taught on the Stress Control course I described in my previous post. They work!
I have always suffered from high functioning anxiety which means from the outside no one would know this, and I have held a high level demanding job for many years without anyone knowing. It can however be very debilitating in private. I have avoided drugs like the plague, as my physical health is very good, and I would not want the risks of side effects making matters worse . As OP mentioned, CBT (and NLP) in the form of some excellent self help books, did help me develop coping mechanisms. I don't think I ever expect the feelings to go away completely. One of the things I find helps is to play with words in my mind, to rationalise the triggering events and the reaction produced in me and to think what I could have done to reduce my reaction.. For example, in your situation the trigger would have been the late arrival of your friends coupled with the lack of a message or explanation. The reaction was one of frustration and upset over a spoiled outing, possibly with a feeling of embarrassment over the kindness of strangers whom you felt went to unnecessary time and trouble to help. Then I would consider the actions I have could taken to reduce my anxiety - to have texted the late arriving friends to say I had waited outside but I would now meet them inside, and not worried about their parking problem. They were late, not you. If you wanted to be kind, you could inform them that the nearest car park was full. Having re- rationalised the situation, I try to forget about the triggers as nothing good comes of mulling things over repeatedly.
Your reactions were all normal reactions in the circumstances and I find the analysis helps the anxiety to pass, and to reduce it happening again, should something similar occur. But don't mull over time and time again.
This may sound a strange suggestion, but try joining a choir. Singing is the most wonderful therapy and don’t worry if you think you can’t sing!
Hi, Lucky legs, hope your feeling better this morning.I totally understand where your coming from.I've also been a carer since I was in my late twentys, I'm early 60s now and still have my mum to care for.I love my mum very much, but hate the responsibility of it all, being an only one, it feels overwhelming, i don't feel cut out to be a carer,if that makes sense, but there is no choice.All this had made me the person i am, anxious ,and I have a phobia of being sick.I was given stertraline last year,and couldn't get on with it all, and am now scared of trying anything else, I'm now considering CBT. Please let us know how you get on with the tablets, hope they help you.At least your not alone here, there's plenty of us struggling along. Good luck 
Hi Luckylegs - two suggestions from me ... Maybe have a look at Headspace. It’s a meditation app with lots of different programmes to explore within it. Andy Puddicombe, and his fellow developer, have really put together a wonderful resource. Anything from three minutes up to twenty depending on what time you have, and what your capacity for focus is (it will build ...). I don’t usually make specific recommendations, but I use this myself and have found it really helpful. Second recommendation, and based on you clearly beating yourself up a fair bit, is have a look at anything to do with Compassionate Mind - particularly the book by Paul Gilbert. It’s a lead in to self compassion which it sounds as though might be helpful to you. A big movement now in the UK which has evolved from first wave CBT. Chronic anxiety is horrible and exhausting! Good luck!!
Hello LuckyLegs, I have also suffered with anxiety for years, tried to hide it, but it was a real struggle. I had anti-depressants years ago (Seroxat) they worked a little but not much.
I managed to hold down a stressful job and when I was at work most of the anxiety went as I was so busy, with retirement I no longer had that distraction.
People think they know what anxiety is, but many do not understand just how debilitating it can be.
When I was seeing my GP a short time ago for blood pressure I mentioned the anxiety & he suggested "talking therapy" rather than medication, I didn't hold out much hope but agreed to give it a go. I had a 45 minute phone consultation with a mental health practitioner within a couple of weeks, she suggested attending a Stress Control course. I agreed but doubted whether it would help as I had anxiety not stress. The course was 6 weeks for 2 hours a week, it was a group course with about 12 people and we were basically taught what stress is and how to control it, it was a classroom/lecture situation so no talking about your issues in front of strangers. I learned that stress consists of anxiety and depression so controlling stress will control your anxiety, we were taught techniques to control it, it isn't a quick fix you have to work at it, some of the techniques have been mentioned by other posters. I found this really helpful and my anxiety is improving.
I don't know where you live, I am in East Sussex & the course was run by a mental heath group called Health In Mind, I discovered later that you could self-refer on-line, no need to go to your GP. The courses start every 6 weeks so very short waiting time. I know there is a similar group in West Sussex. I wonder if there is anything similar in the area where you live? Could you get in touch with the local mental health team to see if there is?
I am sorry this is long. I send you my very best wishes, you will get better and life will be so much better.
Hi Luckylegs, read your original message but haven’t read all the replies so may be repeating something here. Just wanted to say how much I sympathise with you as I have suffered with anxiety for most of my life. I have as a result lots of tummy issues. I’m never really sure if my anxiety make my tummy hurt or if it’s the other way round! It’s my tummy misbehaving that’s making me feel anxious. I feel I’ve missed out a lot in life because of my anxiety. Just one thing I’d like to add and that’s recently I had an NHS health check and discovered that my thyroid was on the low side and as it went down a bit more I was put on thyroid medication. I can’t say it solved all my problems but after a few weeks I did feel a lot calmer and I realised how much it had affected my health. It’s just a thought but maybe if you haven’t had a health check recently it might be a good place to start. Good luck in getting yourself into a calmer place and remember your not alone there’s a lot of anxious people out there!
I too suffer from anxiety plus had a bout of depression. My son strongly advised me not to take antidepressants but to take the herbal route: valarian - which I did. Website Headspace is good for meditation which I also found helped. Put all these things together, giving yourself a good talking to when anxious I found worked for me. 
After my panic attack at the hospital last week the doctor told me to calm down and that she hadn't found anything sinister. I was reading later and the question came up,were you in danger?I reacted to a danger that wasn't real.I will try to think this next time.
I get wound up and anxious about other people who don’t stress themselves about me! It’s how we’re made. I often have a tight chest or migraine and I’m sure it’s stress. I take herbal medicine which seems to help. Deep breathing helps and apparently a long out breath is important.
Lucky feel free to DM if you want to chat, thanks
You are trying too hard to fix the world. Anxiety can be so wearing and eventually takes over your life. You do need to see a GP whether for medication or further CBT. I feel CBT does work but you have to be in the right frame of mind to apply all the processes and you don't seem to be there. You seem a lovely caring person, but you can't do everything for everyone and, they wouldn't expect you to. Do hope you find the right solution to help you cope. Take care.
Hello Lucky Legs,
I hope you will soon feel better.
I am currently full of a cold I cannot shake off. People pleasing and all that. Am with the inlaws and although the temperature is 14c with a cold breeze they refuse to switch on the heating and open all the windows. I am surprised they don't have pneumonia.
Just wanted to say that I studied psychiatry but gave up half way due to pressure from family members!! I agree with GingerGirl and Saggi. Great advice. I had CBT recently but found it a bit daft personally. I was being taught by a junior psychiatrist who hadn't passed an exam yet. I asked her as she looked about 20. Very nice girl. I suffer from mild anxiety doctors decided. I find keeping busy best solution but not easy for people reluctant to leave home or catch a train. I saw a psychotherapist for two years, private. Not much of that available on the NHS unfortunately, but all most of us need is to talk to a sympathetic medic who has the time.
Best of luck.
Try some mindfulness, some meditation. Also, you should go to your GP and don't feel bad about saying you're suffering with anxiety. At that appointment you can discuss the options and you will probably be offered some psychotherapy on the NHS which will help you learn more about yourself and why you get worked up over small issues. You can conquer this.
Suffering like this is miserable, Luckylegs. As you don't like taking drugs - which I totally understand - and the CBT helped before, I wonder if your gp can refer you for another session? Anxiety is an illness just as much as other things and you are perfectly within your rights to ring the surgery and ask for an appointment, especially as you've had previous issues. Good luck.
Thinking about my childhood, it was an anxious time as I was the youngest to quite an elderly mother who was often ill and used to tell me often she could die at any time. She was kept going on prednisolone/antibiotics and it always seemed to be just saved in the nick of time. Eventually she developed dementia which took me all my time to manage her care. I’m not blaming my beloved mum but it definitely gave me a worried childhood which she wouldn’t have deliberately caused for the world if she’d realised. I don’t know if that is what to blame but other than that, I don’t remember any trauma.
Anyhow, I am where I am. I’ve got the tablets and I’m planning to take one tonight. Not sure when they should be taken but I’ll try it then.
Of course my friends should have phoned the house even though I’d already left. My h would have let me know. They were probably embarrassed that they hadn’t left by then but it would have been kinder. She hasn’t even rung me since!
I feel so sorry for Grannybuy, I haven’t reached the point where I’m frightened to leave the house. I do send my love and good wishes to her for some improvement.
I drove to my daughters this morning and I know I’m not fit to drive when I’m so dizzy as I am today. I am totally puzzled as I was fine last night and not dizzy at all. I am going to get some craft thing going or knitting or something to occupy myself. Again, thanks for your considered thoughts xx
While waiting you could also try a therapeutic massage with body oils. Your neck ache, headaches, dizziness etc is probably due to tension and massage of any sort will help, if you can afford it ( about (£30).
Also listen to any sort if music you like, through ear phones,. An article. in the paper said walking through trees or by the sea is as good as or better than meditation. Do you have a dog?
Also try some exercises to music watching a U tube video.
I’m another one like you, very anxious and am particularly bad at being a car passenger - it ruins my social life as I don’t like driving either!
Lucky Legs.
My GP put me on Sertraline and it has definitely helped. But it does take a while it’s not magic! Think I had a few vague side effects but difficult to tell if they were side effects or just me imagining things. I’m like you worry all the time and my brain goes round and round all the time thinking about everything- in fact overthinking! Do try the pills - it might not sound like it but they have certainly made my life a lot calmer. Good luck
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