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No longer interested in the bedroom

(33 Posts)
nannyYvie Sun 15-Dec-19 01:18:36

This is only my second post so I'm still relatively new to this and I'm not sure if this is the right forum for this topic. Please advise if it isn't.
After having a frank discussion with my work mate about the menopause and its symptoms recently, she later confided in me that since experiencing the menopause 2 years ago, she has lost all interest in the bedroom department. Whilst she has a supportive and patient partner, she feels desperately sorry for him as he is somewhat younger than her (she's in her fifties) and she feels that she really must turn matters around as it has been going on for so long with no sign of change. She did say that this is totally out of character as to how she was before entering this phase of her life so it isn't as if she had a low sex drive before. She has said that the only way she can bear to be touched is if she has a good old drink beforehand, but this clearly isn't ideal. I suggested speaking to her GP, but she is reluctant to do so as she doesn't think any of her GPs would or could offer any suitable advice other than to talk to her partner as they are all in their thirties. She also doesn't want to search the internet for answers, but she gave me permission to ask others for advice when I told her about GN. It's been useful to me as a new gran. Does anyone know if this is something that can be reversed in any way and if so, how can she or should she go about it?

Framilode Sun 15-Dec-19 16:39:11

You may need some HRT that contains testosterone. I think that is the hormone that increases the sex drive, but your doctor will know.

Hotmama Sun 15-Dec-19 17:02:46

Growingolddisgracefully, I started at 64 so perfectly feasible.

Blacktabby2 Sun 15-Dec-19 17:20:30

I am 59. Due to fragmented discs in my spine i am unable to have intercourse. It is totally impossible. I feel sorry for my husband. He's lovely and understanding. We still kiss and cuddle. To be totally honest l have never had a high sex drive as abused from a young age to the day l got married. I cannot tell anyone. Only you lovely people. Yes I did tell my husband once... but he sort of dismissed it.

Tilly35 Sun 15-Dec-19 18:18:35

I would definitely recommend Maryon Stewart"Making the Midlife Switch" group.She guides you through a natural menopause,as HRT is not suitable for everyone. She has also written many books on all aspects of menopause.The group was a lifesaver for me.

madmum38 Sun 15-Dec-19 20:43:44

Lucky to have got it at all lol 25 years of marriage and when I went for a smear test the nurse had to use the virgin size, she was very surprised and gave me quite an odd look lol

newnanny Mon 16-Dec-19 00:41:17

I tried HRT but it did not agree with me and I put on so much weight, 11lb in 16 weeks, so I had to come off of it. My sex drive has gone down since menopause. We don't have sex as often as before as I always seem to feel so tired, but we kiss and cuddle and are still intimate.

Ashcombe Mon 16-Dec-19 08:48:10

I’m on a low dose of HRT alternate days, plus I use Ovestin cream internally twice a week. This combats vaginal dryness and soreness besides helping my husband and me to enjoy intercourse comfortably.