Autism diagnosed as an adult?

How does one go about getting a diagnosis? I tried with my gp but she just brushed it off. I see a lot of autism traits in myself, for example, putting objects in order, not looking people in the eyes, even talking and making friends is very difficult for me. I have no sense of humor, I only understand things in a literal sense.
I just generally on the whole feel like I'm not normal. I'm much older in my 50s, is that too old to see the doctor about anything?

Autism runs right through my ex-husbands family. Of course, back when he was a child, no such term existed. First really diagnosed case was my eldest g.son - after battles with educational services his parents did manage to get him to a special school for a few years, where he learned good management techniques. Very much in his control now as he is succssfully going through Uni on a high level science degree.

Interestingly, back in 1971 I used the term autism with regard to the behavior of my eldest child ( a boy) who was then a pre-school age. This was totally dismissed by the social worker who was fascinated that, at the age of four years, he was reading and understanding, quite advanced books. The fact of his incredible tantrums and habit of going to find a hard surface on which to bang his forehead until it bruised was dismissed.

No diagnosis, we just coped. He detested any social occasions, got a scholarship to a good private secondary school, where small classes, etc helped him. Just about survived Uni and got a good job and career and a lovely wife..

His next sibling down who works in Mental Health always dismissed that I said he was undiagnosed autistic, until his 40th birthday,. Family had a nice meal out in restaurant. Fine, until the waiters came out with cake all singing Happy Birthday - at which point he got up and left the restaurant!!!

He is now turned 50 years of age - loves being able now to work entirely from his own home - something he has been asking to do for some years.

He is highly skilled in IT and holds down a good job, has a lovely wife, and a beautiful house. He has friends, but virtually all of them are on-line . I can remember a few years back asking my DiL if he ever socialised with any of his fellow work team members, and she just laughed at that. Of course he did not!!!

He has a good life, all the family know he is well on the Autistic Spectrum. Does it matter, NO......Does he need a diagnosis - absiolutely not.

I have been diagnosed autistic last year age46. I’m now 47. Going to be a first-time grandma in November and I’m sensitive or oversensitive to everything but at least I know why

I had two days of tests and they cancelled the third one because they already knew from my results I was autistic

I had to wait a year for the appointments..Right in the middle of Covidnesd…my tests were pre-Covid and the results were when the lockdown started

I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I’ve had this all my life (and always will) and all the things from when I was a child that I suffered because no one was looking for autism back then in the 70s affects me sometimes

Hope you get sorted and don’t worry about the age thing at all

The assessors don’t see it as an issue and it’s quite common now for people who are much older being assessed. If anything it makes me see things a lot differently although there is no cure for it…my anxiety and related issues all stems from autism which is why six lots of CBT did not work; I don’t like change and the unknown and fret a lot more as an adult.

But…We are all different, and unique…Autistic or not.

Best wishes X

Good luck

Thanks for the update, I do like it when a poster comes back and updates us on a thread. Hope it all goes ok and gives you some answers.

very interesting, bungalow, thanks for the update.
keep us posted.

Hi
Just wanted to update a little.My GP was a bit reluctant to refer me at first. As I expected he said I had got this far in life so was unlikely to get an assessment.I had taken my partner with me who said he had watched me struggle through for over 30 years that we have been together. GP
then agreed to refer.I had the first part of my assessment on 19th June via video link,due to the current no face to face situation. I'm now awaiting my second video link appointment date.Will update once I know more.
I was initially told there was a 12 month waiting list,but also asked if I would accept a short notice appointment if they had a cancellation,which I did.
Thank you all for your previous response.

Thank you all so much for your comments and experiences Some excellent advice and suggestions I have since spoken to someone at my local autism centre. He were so kind and helpful,as I was very nervous on the phone. He has given me a bit more confidence to speak to my GP and agrees that an assessment is advisable.The GP appointment isn't until 10th Feb The waiting time for an assessment is 6 months in my area.
I did the online test as mentioned and scored highly.
I will do some more research and reading.
Special Thanks to Jane10

Bungalowlady - thank you for your post and thank you to all the helpful comments. This has been a bit of a light bulb moment. It's something that crossed my mind a few years ago and I had a look on the internet but then dismissed it as neurotic. It explains a lot about me and to some extent perhaps absolves me and makes me feel less guilty about some of my feelings and reactions.

Hi minimoon.
Have just taken the autism test you gave a link to. When I press to get the answer nothing is happening

Oh my goodness ladymuck where in earth have you learned that? I have a very good young friend who was finally diagnosed at the age of 14 after years of difficulties at school - he is far from withdrawn and has amazed us all by becoming a work rider for a leading Racehorse Trainer .... he is a very different young lad compared to most teenagers and is absolutely fabulous at dealing with the owners and other adults in the industry, but is not so good with his peers - he has already been on the TV a couple of times and am sure he will be 'noticed' at some point - good luck to him too!

My forty five year old son was diagnosed very recently.He has always felt different from his peers and recently split from his wife and had a breakdown.He was referred to the mental health team and they gave him a very basic test.Following this they referred him to Axcis who saw him and diagnosed him as being on the autistic spectrum,also ADD.He now understands why he had problems through his school life, although he had an I,Q. of 145 he struggled to fit in.His wife who is bi polar now realizes why they struggled for so many years,and he knows the split wasn't entirely his fault

Self knowledge can be very empowering. However autism is not a simple single state and should be viewed as it is, an oversimplified term to describe a very wide set symptoms some positive others may have negative connotation, none however describe the totality of the person concerned; so don't brand yourself or be branded by others. You are who you are, accept yourself as it appears that your partner accepts and cares for you.

Bad speech

I am in the middle of all this having my daughter diagnosed at age 7 with autism after one Dr telling me she was just shy with had speech for 3years ! After seeing a different Dr within 5 minutes told me yes she was I cried ! Later I looked into the idea that it may run in the family so I went on the NAS website and found my mother ! I printed everything out for her and waited for an answer ....
She burst into tears saying it made so much sense and now understands that she wasn't a bad parent she just wasn't equipped to have children ! I was lucky to have my grandmother who took over my parenting
Now when I see her she makes a point of giving me a hug which is fantastic as that was one thing missing from my childhood
So please if you don't know please keep your comments to yourself they are not helpful to the OP

My DD was diagnosed at 21. It helped her enormously. She does struggle to make friends and would love to be able to date. She gets upset when insensitive family members say they might be on the spectrum because they don’t want to attend a family gathering. It’s a spectrum because the condition covers such a broad range of differences. DD struggles with eye contact, walks stiffly, has a fairly fixed facial expression and a host of other differences which has led to bullying thanks to the social model. I think people have to be careful. It is important not to confuse social awkwardness and introversion with necessarily being on the spectrum.

Bungalow Lady I was very interested to read this,I hope you get some help from your GP.I'm 68,and I've always felt that if I had been born in a different time I might have been diagnosed with some form of autism.I have never been any good at socialising,I was probably worse when I was younger,people always made comments about me being quiet,which used to upset me.I always found it very hard to interact and to make friends.

Please do not allow your GP to talk you out of being assessed, stand your ground and insist. I wish my adult daughter would get assessed because I am absolutely convinced that she is ASD or has something that makes her think entirely differently from most of the world. The more I've learned about autism through my diagnosed grandson, the more I can see the traits in her; the meltdowns, the anxiety, the sensory problems, etc. It is highly likely as my sister has 2 ASD children, two of my cousins has an ASD child and my grandson is ASD. All bar one are boys but we now know that girls present completely differently and so often sail under the radar.

I did a 2 year course on autism in conjunction with Sheffield Hallam University and the autism society some years ago. I worked with children on the spectrum in two schools and it became very clear to me my father was on the spectrum and so much about him became sharper and understandable... I am not sure a diagnosis would have benefited him as an adult, but it would have made things easier perhaps for my mother and family. I loved him dearly and he was just who he was. I do wish, though, I had done the training before I left Relate where I worked as a relationship counselor....so many men who their wives said had no empathy or ability to see the world from any view other than their own, we could have worked in a different way. I loved all the asperger girls I worked with in my job in school. The one thing about them all was how different they were from each other. I loved learning about their view of the world. My young grandson has just received a diagnosis of autism but my son maintains I dont understand. He is in denial at present. I think at whatever age, the label isnt the thing, it's the knowing why so go for it. And good luck.

I don't think being on the AS spectrum has anything to do with being shy. At all.

Hi ladymuck

Not all autistics are completely withdrawn from society. I was diagnosed aged 59 and am now feeling my last 50 years have been vindicated. It was a huge relief and in fact when moving to a new area I set up an autistic women’s only weekly meet-up which has proved highly successful and is the only time during my week when I can truly be myself and accepted.

I spent my first 59 years trying to fit into a society which rejected me and although I spent 20 years of that as a firearms officer I hated it. I’m now not working and have never been so happy although I still suffer with anxiety 24/7.

Please do not stereotype autistics - like neurotypicals there is a very wide range of personalities/difficulties and your perception of autism is not necessarily how the reality is

I have long suspected that I am on the spectrum along with my father and two brothers. My youngest son was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 9, he’s now 28 and while incredibly intelligent he can’t function well in real life so doesn’t work and doesn’t socialise outside the home. I would like to get a diagnosis because I have extreme social anxiety and don’t like being touched. One of my biggest fears is being in hospital because the idea of sharing a ward with other people would traumatise me. I am an underachiever so I would be easier on myself if I knew that there was a definitive cause. I have suffered lifelong anxiety. It would make a huge difference to me. I am 56.

I have long suspected my husband is on the autistic spectrum. Two of his four children have a diagnosis; one of Autism and one Asperger’s and his oldest grandson (12) has recently been diagnosed too.

DH is unlikely to pursue formal diagnosis as he would probably have to pursue this privately, but I think it has helped him immensely in recognising and acknowledging that it is quite likely that he is on the spectrum. I have thought it for many years, but never mentioned it until he brought up the topic with me.

I hope, whatever course of action that you take, that you get some comfort and it helps. It has certainly helped DH to understand that there is a reason why he feels different. I think that the fact that I privately thought he was on the spectrum from early in our relationship certainly helped me to understand him better. Wishing you the best of luck.

There is support for adults on the spectrum but its very variable throughout the country. In Edinburgh there is a specific centre for adults with AS (without a learning disability).
Last time I heard there were 2000 people registered with them. They provide a whole host of services. www.number6.org.uk
There's also an organisation for parents of adults with autism www.pasda.org.uk
These were both set up after a lot of work by grass roots- parents, individuals and interested professionals. It can be done.

My elder son has OCD,but when they offered to 'treat' it when he was a child i decided to not put him through that as sometimes the sufferer replaces one ritual with another,or more than one,in its place,so i felt he was better managing his ritual of handwashing,which,whilst not completely eradicated,he now only does it when he's over-anxious.