OH now on end-of-life care.

For tomorrow Lucky - you will find a reserve of strength you didn't know you had to get through .

To Scribbles Luckygirl thinking of you both, take care.

Scribbles?

Luckygirl,thinking of you?

Just caught up with the latest. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, Luckylegs and wishing you strength. Xxx

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow Luckygirl You will get through the funeral as you have done everything else with dignity and love.
Take care of yourself now, you cared so well for Mr Lucky now it's your turn.

Scribbles

We will be right there with you tomorrow Lucky. You will find a strength you didn't know you had.
Take heart from Maw's wise words.

Luckygirl will be thinking of you.

Oh boy, Lucky. I can relate to your second and third paragraphs. Physical symptoms galore - gastric upsets, shivery and cold and legs like jelly so I can sometimes barely walk. I suspect it's all due to grief, stress and tension.

As for the paperwork - I am currently awaiting the return of my birth and marriage certificates by pension provider one so that I can then send them on to pension providers 2 and 3. And I had to ransack the house for half a day to find them in the first place. Where were they? In the bliddy safe; the only place I hadn't considered looking.

Just rest today. Pull the blinds, lock the doors and leave the family at Daughter's house to get on with it while you have some breathing space. I wish you well for tomorrow.

Luckygirl a friend brought me up to date with your sad news. Words, I know are no measure of your sadness. I sned my thoughts and heartfelt condolences to you and you family and friends. You did more than most can ever hope to for your dear husband.

I hope tomorrow goes well for you, luckygirl, I’m sure you’ll have lots of thoughts from here with you. It’s always a comfort to actually see how many people thought a lot both of Mr Lucky and of you.

Scribbles - for you. Well done for getting though Friday and I hope the celebration of his life goes well.

I have not been well the last couple of days - shivery and nauseous - I do not know the cause - a bug or just sheer emotional and physical exhaustion. Could be either.

Lots of hassle yesterday as marriage cert has gone missing somewhere between the registry office and here. The stress of trying to find it just flattened me, so I sent off for a new one - I need it to apply for something from OH's pension - I have no idea what I might/might not get. This is causing me some anxiety.

I am hoping just to rest today; but lots of family around down the road at my DD's. There could be a lot of people at the funeral tomorrow as some of his ex-patients (no idea how many) are likely to come as well as family and friends.

My Son-I-L is reading my memories as I know there is no hope of me managing it.

Thinking of you and sending love, Luckygirl. My OH was cremated on Friday and I had wondered if I could get through the day and retain my sanity. It was private, just D and me and our lovely funeral director so we could spend the time talking to him, crying, reflecting and thinking. There were a lot of tears but, oddly, I felt better, calmer, afterwards. It's as though a line has been drawn and Phase 2 is beginning. Next month, we'll have a celebration of his life and inter his ashes and I hope that will be an occasion for laughter as well as tears.

All you can do is keep on keeping on. I'm told it will feel better one day and we must cling to that hope. ((Hugs))

Just logged in today. We said goodbye to a longstanding friend of DH's today. DH did say that death is often a blessing,as it was for his friend. He had lost his partner a while ago and had no one fighting his corner theway you fought. One day you will be able to realise how marvellous you have been. MyCondolences.

Great post maw.

I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday, Luckygirl.

I found strength I didn't know I had for DD's funeral. Being surrounded by love and support gets you through it. The tears came later.

These days the wake is more a celebration of a life rather than a sad and depressing event and as Maw said, a few stiff drinks really helps.

Oh, that's good, worth a try Luckygirl.

Just to add my insurance had a 24hour helpline. Fair enough it took 45 minutes to get through, but worth it!

A lovely post MawB

You will get through it with the support of your family, Luckygirl but may feel just drained for a long while afterwards so be kind to yourself.

If you can check your insurance you may find that they will send someone out, if you can phone first thing it would be better as there is going to be a queue, this rain has been just awful, hasn't it.

None of this is surprising Luckygirl
I remember Annsixty being quite poorly after her OH died and I commented then that from my experience your body is reacting to the months and years of strain, the shock of bereavement and the cumulative effects of being the ‘coper “.
Let it go, it will pass,but that may not be for another year or even two.
Now to practicalities.

Do you have emergency cover as part of your house insurance? I had to call on that before Christmas when my downstairs loo flooded on a Sunday evening. It does not affect your no-claims, and I had a plumber sent out (admittedly not until 10.15) but how on earth would I have found a plumber on a Sunday night shortly before Christmas? He was Dyno-rodding my drains at 11.30 in the rain. No charge.
Check your policy it is not unusual for that to be a standard benefit.
You will be in my thoughts on Wednesday. It may pass more easily than you are dreading. I contemplated asking my Dr for some sort of sedative, but decided against it in the end as I wanted to be “with it” for every sad moment.
Three straight brandies after the burial slipped down easily though.
You will have planned a beautiful service to pay tribute to your lovely man.
I found I was saying to myself over and over and over
“He is not in that box”
“He is in our lovely daughters and our grandchildren, he is in my life and my heart forever.”

“To live in hearts of those we leave behind
Is not to die”

Another difficult day today. Bit weepy. It is so hard when someone is there one minute and gone the next.

I have been feeling quite unwell too - just do not have the strength to do anything really. I think the stress of all the last few years, and then the sad end, have taken their toll. I had no choice but to keep going and now it is as if someone has switched me off at the main - I am just lolling about reading and listening to music as I cannot find the strength to do much else.

Funeral is on Wednesday - I have no idea how I might get through it at all. How do you do it I wonder?

Add in the fact that water started coming in through living room ceiling - the flashing round the chimney failed. It is very hard to get anyone to mend it, especially in this wind.

Calpurnia - you are in my thoughts. x

Yes, 'to have loved and been loved' is something you can never, ever lose. I hope it comforts you during the coming weeks and months.

That is a beautiful post Calpurnia I hope you take it to heart Lucky.
I hope both of you can take comfort from the fact that you have loved and been loved.

Lucky and Calpurnia and all of you suffering from loss. Wishing you the strength to cope, and eventually, peace of mind. Please be kind to yourself, we are all only human.

I hope that one day you'll be able to look back and remember the many happy times.