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Coronavirus - the lecture

(32 Posts)
MawB Fri 13-Mar-20 22:01:34

I was sympathising with an 81 year- old friend whose son had
rather firmly barred her from visiting her 89year-old husband who has Alzheimer’s and is in hospital awaiting a nursing home bed. Clearly visiting a hospital has risks both for the patients and the visitors and my friend’s DH doesn’t know who she is anymore which is very sad. We all pretended to laugh it off but were also distinctly miffed at how the AC generation are bossing us around.
Yes it might be kindly intentioned but it is also demoralising to be told you are old,you are in the at risk group , you must not do x, y and z.
Then I got a similar lecture from DD - Mum you have to stop pretending you are invincible!
I do appreciate their concern , but feel I am old enough and experienced enough to be sensible without needing “the lecture”. One of our younger posters showed similar tendencies - so is it just an age thing?
Have you had it? What did you reply?

aggie Fri 13-Mar-20 22:07:42

My eldest nags me about getting out and about and to keep moving !
Guess what now ! I am nagged to stay home and limit my social contacts !

Anniebach Fri 13-Mar-20 22:11:03

No one nags me, well there is only my younger daughter and three grandchildren.

pensionpat Fri 13-Mar-20 22:11:19

I’ve found it simpler not to mention some of my activities to my son and his wife. I think the best person to know if I’m doing too much is me.

PamelaJ1 Fri 13-Mar-20 22:17:45

We are doing it to my mum!
She is 92 and lives 150miles from the nearest daughter. One of my sisters is visiting this weekend with the express intention of convincing her to return to S’s home.

She won’t want to go, she’d be fine on her own, happy on her own at home as long as she could get supplies. The shortages are what concerns us. She goes to bridge about 4 times a week but I think they are suspending the sessions for a while.

I’m 66 and very fit so it doesn’t seem to have occurred to my children that I/we are in the danger group!

GagaJo Fri 13-Mar-20 22:17:55

I wish my daughter wouldn't think I am invincible. I don't want to be patronised but a bit of appreciation would be nice.

Callistemon Fri 13-Mar-20 22:21:35

Yes, from all of them. "Promise me you won't etc etc"

Yet I am the one worrying about all of them.

M0nica Fri 13-Mar-20 22:21:35

They wouldn't dare.

ginny Fri 13-Mar-20 22:25:16

Maw, I ‘d rather they thought that way than if they didn’t care.

merlotgran Fri 13-Mar-20 22:43:52

DD and DS know we are taking all the necessary precautions so we haven't heard anything from them other than, 'We can't help worrying about you.'

TBH we are in a safer place than they are. We live two miles from anywhere. The only person we see every day is the postman!!

I'm more worried about them!

Callistemon Fri 13-Mar-20 23:08:35

I made the mistake of telling DS what my plans are for next week
hmm
However they are not set in stone.

cornergran Fri 13-Mar-20 23:34:29

No lectures from ours - yet. There is a noticeable increase in texts of the ‘you ok?’ variety. Certainly no pressure to change any activities. As for ourselves we think there’s more cause to worry about our daughter in law who has a heart condition.

V3ra Fri 13-Mar-20 23:49:51

My 89 year old Dad rang me this morning:

"What are we doing about all this advice not to meet up and not to go on cruises?
Are we just ignoring it?" (!)

He has a cruise to Norway booked for April.
I recommended he phoned the travel agent.
His cruise is cancelled and a full refund on its way.
He's disappointed but I pointed out that the ships are not being allowed to dock, so there's not much point going anyway!

SueDonim Sat 14-Mar-20 00:00:02

My 92yo mum seems to think she’s impervious to coronavirus. I’ve done an online grocery order today for her as she was going to be going to the supermarket tomorrow. She doesn’t get on with the internet and I don’t think she’s really quite got the full picture from the TV news.

My son’s IL’s had to told point blank not to fly across America to visit DS, DIL and family. It was a risk they didn’t need to take, either for themselves or my son’s family.

Marydoll Sat 14-Mar-20 00:06:51

I've already had the lecture from my DH and three children.

Although I have told them to stop fussing, they are probably right!

craftyone Sat 14-Mar-20 05:47:09

no-one needs to nag me, I am a scientist and know what is needed. I nag them grin

Baggs Sat 14-Mar-20 06:52:52

No lectures from mine yet. I was going to visit DD1 & family this coming week. I don’t think I’m particularly at risk from Covid19 but I don’t want to be a carrier for when I go back to work in a week or two because most of the people where I work are in the high risk category.

Other considerations are that my shoulder is still very painful. It will be six weeks since I broke it next Wednesday. It’s disrupting my sleep pattern. This is easy to deal with at home I can get up and make cups of tea and eat chocolate or whatever at any time in the night. I can do this at the DD's too but I’ll be afraid of disturbing people. It’s not a big house and any visit is a disruption to their normal pattern. Not that they complain; they’re always very welcoming but I don’t want to be a nuisance or demanding visitor.

Similarly my activities are restricted because of the shoulder. At home again this isn’t a problem because I can adapt in ways that aren’t so easy on someone else’s house.

Mr Baggs thinks I shouldn’t go. I’m dithering.

kittylester Sat 14-Mar-20 07:01:29

Middle daughter told me I was in a vulnerable group and then laughed like a drain! I assume she thought it was a daft thought! grin

brook2704 Sat 14-Mar-20 07:08:48

My 3 are all so different ...
DS is very caring but wouldn’t dream of telling his mum what to do
DD1 can be quite bossy but in a kind way and is messaging me with ... you’ve done what ???
DD2 doesn't usually interfere and just lets me get on with things. She likes to keep tabs on what I’m doing though and keeps quiet unless she thinks I’ve stepped out of line ..😂

Juliet27 Sat 14-Mar-20 07:11:23

Yes, my son in Australia is checking most days that we're washing our hands regularly, taking Vit D, 'have you stocked up enough tins and frozen food', 'the sooner you all keep yourselves to yourselves the better'. I guess this all brings home just how far away we are and there's little he could do if we were ill.

TerriBull Sat 14-Mar-20 07:40:35

A week or so ago, one of my sons during a phone conversation regarding our pending visit to Seville, which we have now cancelled, "I think you might need to rethink that" but on the upside tells us more frequently now when he phones "you are two of my favourite people, love you lots, please take care of yourselves". I think maybe because he and girlfriend are working in central London we are not going to have such regular visits sad

Urmstongran Sat 14-Mar-20 08:47:43

We’re in Spain. Yesterday afternoon one of our daughters rang to ask are we booking a flight back or staying? Yesterday evening the eldest rang to ask the same question.

If we stay we can hunker down in the sun 🌞 and avoid the train then the airport. If we go back we need to avoid the grandchildren! Decisions, decisions.... I can dither at the best of times as it is.

Spain has just closed all their schools. Himself has just been over to the supermarket for a baguette. He said the shelves were decimated - well all those schoolchildren will need lunches at home now! There’s talk of bars and restaurants closing for 2 weeks here as has been done further along the coast in Valencia and Benidorm.

PamelaJ1 Sat 14-Mar-20 08:53:43

Update on my mum, see my earlier post.
She is refusing to budge. Says she has plenty of food and is staying put. Her choice.

Franbern Sat 14-Mar-20 09:36:27

I am still rather confused about this isolation thing. If, as is being said, 8 out of 10 people are going to get this virus, before it all starts to get better, not really sure what this isolation thing is about - appears to me just to be a delaying tactic.
Feels like sword of Damocles hanging over us. How long are we older (more vulnerable) people expected to go into this virtual self-isolation? Four months? six months? a year? And when we do 'emerge' what then?
Would anyone explain how this 'delay' tactic is supposed to work.

janeainsworth Sat 14-Mar-20 09:45:17

Baggs we are supposed to be visiting family in the Midlands in 10 days’ time. Like you I’m dithering (but will probably be ‘advised’ by DDwink)
My concern is that while we have no confirmed cases in Northumberland, the GC, like other children, could well be not only symptomless carriers but also so-called super-spreaders.
I don’t want to bring it back up here & pass it on to others.