Black Dog Gang 7

Hi friends. Well managed last week. Can’t say it was plain sailing but got through it. Now waiting on family member having tests. Thank you to all who sent me a little message of comfort.
Annie how is the knee and hip pain? You really don’t have an easy time and for such a lovely, caring person it is just not fair. You know we all on this forum care for you and wish we could do something to ease your pain. Stay strong.
Nonnie I know too well that feeling of expecting something else to be waiting round the corner. I usually say oops it’s my turn yet again! Christmas shopping aaagh!
Doodle how are you doing?
Welcome Purple
Take care blue sky, Chrissy, Joyce, Scaredcat, Lavender and sorry to whoever I have missed.
I wonder how why,why,why is!
I am still having that data box thing when I try to sign in. Can enyone help.
Hope everyone has a better week.
Sun is shining here today so washing is hanging on line.
xx

Thank you for your words.

My youngest son lives and works in London.

Purplepixie perhaps talking to your GP ? Hooked on drugs ?
depression is an illness as is diabetes , arthritis etc, would you
refuse painkillers ? Medication for depression is monitored, when well enough to stop taking it you reduce the dose not
stop abruptly.

Have you tried counselling? You have marital problems ,
counselling will help you to unload and is 100% private between you and the counsellor .

Chrissy we are in very stressful times, not surprising anxiety
has soared, Mental Health help lines are getting calls from people suffering anxiety who didn’t have anxiety or depression before the virus. You can share here .

Annie you are certainly going round in circles phoning people. This virus has had a big impact in so many ways unrelated to actually having it.
You could try phoning you GP’s secretary and asking her how you can contact the physio team, explaining your problem.
It must be so frustrating for you. You are a deserving cause for help and nothing is being done. Take care

Purplepixie I can now understand some of your reason for being so down and unhappy. May I ask does your younger son still live with you and your husband? If you have no one at home to talk to and share with this can contribute to your feelings. You have reason to be depressed. Antidepressants come in a variety of forms and like any other medication, there are times when you need help. Have you spoken to your GP? On this thread you can tell us as much or as little as you like, no judgment. If it helps to talk do so but don’t forget it is an open forum that anyone can read. Hope you have a better day today.
Nonnie Christmas shopping already.??
Annie how are you today?

nonnie thank you, yes i have done what I can, telephoned the surgery, told to ring physiotherapy dept, did so , ‘sorry
no physiotherapists available here. So telephoned the County
Health Board , ‘sorry we are not taking calls ‘.

Telephoned private physiotherapist , ‘sorry only work with
sports injuries, phone the physiotherapist dept’. ! ! ! !

Doodle Yep, I ruminate on the bad things all the time. Keep looking in the mirror to check on things. It’s so draining emotionally.

Anniebach Thank you, you’re right the virus is making things harder.

Nonnie Thank you. I’m not sure if I’ve understood what you said. Are you saying that you worry about something that turns out to be nothing but then you find out that something else is wrong? I’m sorry if that’s not what you’re saying.

BlueSky I know all about catastrophising. I’m really trying hard not to always think of the worst possible outcome.

Thank you for your kind words. I posted on “Estrangement” about my daughter a while back under the title “I feel lost”. I have talked to my husband in the past about my family but never again. While visiting some friends of mine who live 200 miles away last summer he told them stuff that I had told him in confidence, about my family. Threw it back in my face. It spoilt the rest of our holiday and I don’t want to visit my friends with him ever again. It’s probably hard for you to get the picture but I moved to this area in 2006 with my youngest son to live with my now husband and his son. It was a nightmare at first and his son then went to live with his mam, after 4 years.

I have always battled depression on a daily basis without the aid of medication as I don’t want to get hooked on drugs. Probably wrongly.

I have some fantastic friends but they are all 200 miles away in the area where I grew up. My husband is controlling but in a very subtle way and if I was younger I would certainly move out and live on my own. Another blow is the fact that after that incident with friends I realise that I just do not love him at all.

Sorry but there are so many problems in my life that I am only keeping myself alive because of my youngest son who I love and adore and also my 4 grand children. Thank you for reading but I don’t know where to turn.

Lucyanne hope the lunch went well, good to have a distraction.

BlueSky I wish I was as logical about everything else! It is only about my own health that I feel like that. I worry about the rest of the family and look up symptoms, although I like to think I do it in a balanced way (don't we all?). However when it comes to other things I catastrophise just like you. Such awful things have happened out of the blue that I now almost expect something else to be waiting round the corner to hit me.

Scardycat Oh yes, the unwelcome thoughts, how to stop them? I was once told not to think like that but I can't control what thoughts come into my head.

Annie every time I read about all your pain I feel for you and also feel frustrated that there seems to be nothing to be done. It feels as if there should be a way to stop your pain and make you more physically able but I don't know what. I want to shake the people who should be helping you but know that you will have done whatever can be done. Sorry for the ramble just frustration coming out.

Purple welcome. I hope writing it down helped just a little bit. I don't have answers but you will get lots of support on here. Yes, follow annie's advice to go on the estrangement threads but please read them before you do. You will need to be prepared for some pretty 'robust' comments on there. There are people on them who appear to think their own situation applies to all others. Not for the thin skinned I'm afraid.

It feels as if the BDG is generally a bit more down than it was a few days ago, hope everyone finds something to be positive about. Just had an email from DiL to say she has started Christmas shopping, is that positive or negative?

Hi all x

EFT therapy, - tapping therapy

I remembered ages ago someone joined us on Black Dog and
said they had started this therapy and it was helping , anyone
tried it ? I can’t because my hands are twisted

Blusky I think it’s worth talking to the GP again if you still have this tightness. I doubt it’s the virus. You’ve had a negative test and would probably be feeling worse now if it was. It could be anxiety. Also the more you think about how you are breathing the more difficult it is to breathe normally. I think palpitations also affect how deeply you breathe.
Scaredycat how have you been today?
Annie you have been so strong, looking after your girls. You are right about going to see the GP. It’s better to get things sorted than to worry about what might be.
lavender I am ok. I hope you are too.
Purplepixie I am sorry you feel so downhearted. When you get really low, it’s difficult to see a way out.
I am sorry about the situation with your daughter. Many sons are not good communicators. It sounds as though you need an interest away from home. I know with the lockdown now is not a good time but are there any local groups you could join where you could meet other people? As Annie said, have you posted on the estrangement thread? Many on there sympathetic to your problems.
I hope things pick up for you soon. You are always welcome to post on here.
Joce, Chrissy how you doing today.
Hope lunch went well Lucyanne
Sleep well all. Try not to dwell on problems let your mind rest. x

Purplepixie you are welcome to join us, you have much sadness . May I suggest you also post on the ‘Estrangement Thread’, there are posters there who are suffering from separation from their families as you are, lavender is so right , there is always some one to talk to here.

Goodnight all thanks for your kind advice as always x

Just seen your post Purplepixie so sorry you are feeling so down. People on here understand, there will always be someone to talk to you. Annie will be along to help. Things can feel so hard sometimes, especially during these difficult times, but we all understand and are here for you, to talk to, sending ((hugs)) and love xx We understand.

Evening all.
Doodle how are you?
Lavender not as good today, not bad but not as good, Hope you are doing ok.
Bluesky I have problems like that, have to yawn to get a deep breath, it hurts to take a deep breath, my GP said it anxiety. But you always need to get seen by the GP to be sure...
Hope everyone has a peaceful night, sleep well ?

Hi all. I've read but not posted on the black dog gang. I'm so down in the dumps. A long story. I feel like I'm drowning. Haven't seen or spoken to my daughter in over 5 years, despite lots of tries on my part. Now my eldest son is becoming distant. It's always me getting in touch with him until mid June when I backed off. I'm close to my youngest son. He has a different dad. Different nature. I don't have any friends in the area and beginning to wonder why I am here. I'm so down in the dumps. Fedup. What is the point? I have 4 grand children and they kept in touch at the beginning of the lock down but hardly at all now. I text 3-4 times per week but they are busy, now back at school. Help I'm drowning and no one seems to understand. My husband is the person I see 24/7 and he's driving me nuts. He has 3 kids that he hasn't seen in years and isn't bothered. He doesn't understand. Thank you for reading.

Hello everyone, just trying to catch up with the posts. It's been a busy few days.
Annie I am so sorry to read about what happened the other day, that neighbour shouldn't have just come in like that at all. It's more than rude. I really wish the medical people would help the lady next door and then quiet would reign in your close - you deserve some peace from it all xx I hope the pain in your hip and knee are better.
Hope things are settling down Flutterby, and all others who are stressed and not well start to improve.
Joyce how are you. And you too Doodle.
Black clouds are rumbling around the skies outside, looks as if there will be rain overnight, yet again.
I hope everyone has a peaceful evening and a good nights sleep. Take care and love to all xx

Thank you, it’s good to know that others understand.

lucyanne I so hope you enjoyed lunch x

BlueSky awfulizing is not good, many years ago when my
daughters were school children, I went to the loo, washed my
hands looked in mirror, mouth drooping on one side, eye on same side rather scewed , I had a stroke, told the girls to go to
bed hand over mouth, telephoned doctor and said ‘I have had a stroke’, out he came, I had ‘bell’s palsy’, had never heard of it,
so strange ,I didn’t panic , I learned then - don’t think of the
worse’, see your GP and let us know x

scaredycat thank you, in lot of pain today, hip and knee, wretched rheumatoid arthritis, hope your day has been good. x

nonnie x

Doodle hugs x

Hi everyone hope the sun is shining on you today.
Chrissie it seems that many of us here have Health anxiety amongst other things so understand how you feel. So hard to get a worrying thought out of your head and if you do another one soon pops in to take its place. That scared internal trembly feeling is very wearying. As for catastrophising Bluesky - I,m a professional!!
Lucyanne hope you have a lovely lunch - enjoy the adventure.
Nonnie hold on to that sense of humour it is a gift.?
Annie hope you have a better day today and your pain has eased. Thinking of you.
Have a good evening all and take care

Hi Doodle I feel that I cannot always get a deep breath, so I take 3 or 4 before I get a satisfying one or I keep yawning. No never had asthma or chest problems. I know it could be anxiety but I think I might have some catarrh on my chest as well as the reflux. Then during the day I go from feeling dreadful to fine then back again! I would say a virus, luckily I even had a Covid test done which was negative (can you get false negatives)? I'll have to get in touch with the surgery yet again on
Monday.

Bluesky sorry you still have the tightness in your chest. Does it hurt or just make your breathing difficult. Do you suffer from Asthma or anything that could account for it?
Chrissy you will find others on this thread with lifelong anxiety. I am one of them. Always been a worrier. Some days are better than others but when I have a problem I ruminate on it too much.
Nonnie I am pleased you are sounding better at the moment. Knowing that others have been through hard times but have lighter times is a help. Hope your car gets fixed soon,
Lucyanne I do hope you enjoy your lunch. Let us know how you get on.
Bluesky, I think it was Annie who called it awfulizing. That magnification of a problem to imagine all sorts of disaster. That’s me too.
Joce, Annie how are you both today.?
Have a good day all x

Hello all. How you feeling to day Annie, better I hoped

BlueSky not on your own I always think the worst thing..

Lucyanne enjoy your lunch..

Nonnie that’s men for you ?

Have a good weekend everyone...

Thanks Nonnie. Probably you were taking some meds that shouldn't be taken together with the Lanzoprosole. I take mine first thing, then wait a while before taking the BP tablets and having my breakfast. It's good that you never think the worst, my late MIL even though she had multiple conditions, she never worried about any new symptoms until proven otherwise. In my case I always go for the worst possible outcome, I think it's called catastrophising. I'm trying hard now to think that that's not the only outcome, that there are many other possibilities, as advised by counsellors.

Hi all,

I am entering into unknown territory and going out for lunch.
1st time this year. Panic about if wheelchair will fit in and if they have toilets. Masked up.

Take care I wish you all peace of mind. x