Is this attitude common?

We had a friend just like your friend he died of bowl cancer . He was a lovely really inteligent man but so stupid at times .

Perhaps your friend is afraid of what might be found and simply does not want to know? Or wouldn’t opt to have treatment anyway? It’s her decision. (personally I have every screening test available).

I know quite a few women (in their 70s and 80s) who have never had a cervical screening test or breast examination of any kind. My own Mum never had anything like that, either.

In Scotland Bowel screening is offered from 50 to 70 years old.

My friend's husband 64, had always refused to take the test until recently. His first test a couple of months ago, showed up an irregularity. He was a very lucky man in that he was immediately offered a colonoscopy, despite the pandemic and received treatment right away.

I take everything that is offered, embarrassed or not.

JenniferEccles, I certainly have not “simply just buried [my] head in the sand”.

I have considered very carefully the possible consequences of my decision, and chosen to remain untested. I have a higher than normal risk of bowel cancer, and it is likely to kill me sooner or later whether I know about it or not, and whether I have treatment or not. I choose to reject the option of early diagnosis. My body, my choice.

I do have the test but I also totally understand your point geekesse and especially as you have said you carefully considered it and have made your decision My family member did not carefully consider it they just didn’t want to do it they were not embarrassed just didn’t want to, no idea of their thoughts or reasoning behind it

It has to be an individual choice, depending on so many factors.

Have had mammograms and smears regularly and have done several bowel kits. I think I’m due another one next year? Neither a mammogram or smear are particularly pleasant but better that than cancer surely

There is plenty more investigations, tests, and pulling around if you're diagnosed, though.

If you are diagnosed while the cancer is still tiny, there is less pulling around etc than if you wait until it is large and aggressive and its offspring have moved in to other parts of your anatomy.

Yes, true.
Still, it's for each person to decide for themself, as frustrating as it can be.

I’ll take any tests/screening I’m offered!
My mother’s attitude was to smear test or mammograms was “I don’t want anyone poking around, they’ll only go and find something!” No amount me saying that was the whole point would change her mind. Sadly I think lots of folk take the same head in the sand view.

My mum was the same.
Perhaps I get it from her, although I do reluctantly go for tests. Eventually.

Most people in my world will have any test going

However due to a very rare error , a 68 year old male friend of ours had the bowel test

He was a fit active man and played a mean game of squash

Traces of cancer were discovered. Surgery followed which went awry

He ended up with a colostomy and developed depression

Two years on he is in a facility and on a daily basis regrets his decision

Of course these things do happen. It's a risk. He may well have had a long protracted death from the cancer.

Nothing is certain and I would never criticise anyone opting for no treatment

Elegran

If Juno's friend does develop cancer in her breast, cervix or bowel, she will soon discover just how much more "too embarrassing and distasteful" any of those are than a few minutes doing a test. Silly pseudo-sensitive woman - too concerned about being tasteful to take care of herself! I wonder if she finds it too distasteful to wash under her armpits or wipe her arse?

Without knowing Juno's friend it is impossible to know whether she is 'silly' or 'pseudo-sensitive' (whatever that means), both of which are judgemental and subjective terms anyway.

People have all sorts of reasons for not wanting tests, and it is up to them whether or not to take them up.

A friend of mine is a GP, and she doesn't and never has had a routine mammogram, as she says that the number of false positives is so high that women often have unnecessary surgery and/or invasive tests because of findings that would never develop into anything dangerous.

I do have them done, and have had two separate false positives - one was a mark near my nipple which scared a very young GP and the other showed up on a mammogram and turned out to probably have been caused by the mobile unit moving when the photo was taken. I will continue getting them when I'm called, but I can see (and respect) her point of view.

Women who have been assaulted in the past can be traumatised at the thought of certain tests, too, which is also understandable and entirely unconnected to sensitivity, silliness or questions of taste. Have a bit of compassion?

I never have any tests and I'm quite happy with that decision. I don't worry about my health either.

grannyqueenie, your mum did have a point. There's a lot of unnecessary treatment based on the test results.

I always use mine - the thing to remember is that if you do it every time then any problems are picked up early enough to be easily treated and sorted.

Not doing it just means by the time you notice a problem it may be too late or require very invasive treatment. (Which also costs the NHS an awful lot more.)

I don't do them either geekess and janeainsworth and also know a doctor who doesn't have mammograms because of unnecessary surgery.

I almost had unnecessary surgery some years ago and consider myself very lucky to have avoided it.

Some of us have made considered decisions.
We are not scared or ostriches or squeamish. Mostly we have read the research papers and come to a decision based on our own circumstances and the current medical information available.

Thank you all for your replies. They have made me think beyond my disappointment and dismay at my friend's choices. I think she is mistaken but they are her choices to make.

You seem a lovely friend. We have to remember that people make different choices to us and we may not always know the reason behind those choices.

A very interesting thread. My own dad was a reluctant visitor to the doctor and when he eventually was referred at aged 56, he walked out of the consultation when he realized he was going to be examined by a female doctor. When things got worse and he was admitted for surgery, he ended up with only two years left. My mother always felt that if he had accepted treatment earlier he might have llived longer.

However, my beloved sister, similar age, attended for tests from the first moment she knew something was wrong, She underwent several radical operations and any treatments he was offered. The result ...she sadly died in a similar time space to my father. I suppose we all must do what we think is best for us ...and live with the consequences.

I am currently waiting for tests myself. I do feel that early checks help with early detection so in my case I am going with trying to find out and treat if necessary but I totally understand why others might make a different decision.

There seems to be good evidence that mortality from colon cancer is reduced by screening, especially with the new FIT test.
With breast cancer I don’t think it is as clear cut, many women are diagnosed and treated for DC that will never progress. If one life is saved, and if it is you. I guess you will think it’s worth it.

I took my test and found I had bowel cancer stage 3. I've been lucky so far nearly 6 years later I'm still ok but I will take up any tests I get

I knew two women, quite well, who died from breast cancer and refused a screening test.

I take any test that is offered to me. However I have a friend who never goes to the doctor's or has any of these tests. She's very overweight but seems to be ok in every other respect but I suppose you never really know unless tested.