BLACK DOG 8

BlueSky yes, grey sums it up.

Doodle it must be hard not to be allowed to visit but I know you understand why that has to be. Perhaps you can use the time to look after yourself?

I think I am cooking Christmas dinner, we discussed it this morning and DH said 'we' but he is not good at team work so I think we need to discuss further. Not sure now whether DS & Dil will come to us or whether we will take dinner to them and share it on FaceTime.

Worried about DH, he suggested we might be making too many pigs in blankets! DSs are horrified as you can't have too many . Now he is worried we don't have enough 'blankets' for all the 'pigs' . We need to get out more!

Thank you for nice friendly messages everyone. Yes, I do feel strange, as if I'm not quite here. Can't quite connect with anyone. Maybe it's the culmination of the difficult year which we have all had.
Good wishes to you all.

Morning everyone
Annie It made me laugh that you had to take your Christmas pudding 5 miles You’re absolutely right, I think that we do have ridiculously high expectations of everything being perfect.
Nonnie I just get angry with myself about crying for no apparent reason. I’m the same as you, just can’t get interested in it all. Considering what this year has been like I suppose it’s only to be expected. My DH does all the cooking including at Christmas. I’m in full agreement with your DSs, you can’t have too many pigs in blankets . Not having enough blankets for the pigs would be a major disaster
BlueSky I’m the same, usually really look forward to Christmas but not this year. I also agree that we feel robbed, time is so precious as we get older. I was thinking about all the people who won’t make it to Christmas next year.
Doodle So true, we had no idea that all this was waiting round the corner. Another tale of disasters with the Christmas pudding I’m glad that you got to visit your DH yesterday and that he was doing better. What a shame you can’t visit again until Sunday. Hopefully he will know when he’s being discharged by then. I hope that you’re getting lots of rest.
Scaredycat Glad you had good weather yesterday and you got out for a walk. I can’t wait until we can go back to living the way we were before the virus came along although it sounds like it will be a new normal. I think that the vaccines are going to be what makes the difference.
nanny 80 chickens that’s a lot. I love to have my nails done as well and I usually slob about in tracksuit bottoms and t-shirts.
I hope that everyone has a good day x

henetha I’ve had the ‘not real’ feeling several times in the past. My doctor told me that your brain knows when things are getting too much and sort of shuts down to protect you. Hope you feel better soon x

Hi all x

henetha that ‘not quite here’ feeling can be caused by an
exhausted mind , tension especially in the neck and shoulders,
I do many crosswords every day and often I read the clue and
can’t take in what the word means .

And we are all being swamped by the news, anxiety levels are
soaring even for people who are not anxiety sufferers.

you can always talk here x

Thanks ChrissyR and Anniebach and everyone.
I feel guilty because I'm not the only one who has had a bad year. Since my mini-nervous-breakdown last weekend I feel really weird. And that's right about the tension in my neck and shoulders, it's affecting my jaw too and I can't speak properly. I've been asking about hypnotherapy on another thread and may try this in the new year.
I do take Amiltripyline and I've been told my my doctor (on the phone, can't get an appointment) to double the dosage.

Hi everyone.
Another dark dismal day it really doesn,t feel Christmassy at all. But I expect all the kids are bouncing off the walls by now and can’t wait for next Friday. So sad we won’t see the Great GC open their pressies. I do wish Boris hadn,t made such lenient allowances for the 5 days and think it must be so frustrating for all the people who will have to pick up the pieces afterwards.

Nonnie- what a dilemma re the pigs and their blankets!! I don’t like them but DH loves them so he,d be up for as many as you could wrap up!! You,re probably right about getting out more!! Us too.
Henetha- this year has made many people feel strange I think. It’s a combination of sadness at what we have lost,fear of the virus and for families safety, lockdown and missing family so much that it hurts all stirred up with a big dollop of the ever present anxiety in one form or another. Please don,t feel guilty- you are not alone.
Chrissy- does it help you if you have a little cry sometimes - it must release some tension. I can,t cry so everything is held in.
Hi Annie- hope you are ok. I know what you mean about the neck and shoulder tension it makes me feel lightheaded and having cervical spondylosis doesn,t help. I can read a passage in a book several times before it sinks in! I hope your MT is well recovered from the virus by now.
Doodle- hope your DH is progressing well and that you are looking after yourself x
Wishing everyone in BDG a pleasant evening and sleep wellxx

Christmas dinner ? No problem, open bottles of liquid meal replacement, sorted, and only glass tumblers for the washing up.

Right. Have had visits twice from Occupational Therapist, now
have a high chair to sit on in the kitchen so my dogs can stay in the garden as long as they wish instead of having to come in
because my legs are too weak to stand for more that about 2 minutes. She has also allayed my fears , I was told a load of rubbish two years ago and believed it, she explained I will always have choices as to support and care.

Physiotherapist has visited twice, recommended some exercises and today she discussed a brace for my knee, I will
get it between Christmas and New Year, she is head of the
Physiotherapy dept, she said it was so wrong I had been crossed off the list last March and will now be kept on it.

Cannot have treatment at the pain clinic, it’s closed, Wales has
high rate of the virus , going into lockdown on 28th.

Mini Tornado’s test today was negative, she is coming here tomorrow.

Must not forget, raining in Mid Wales, amber warning of floods .

nanny 80 chickens! Wow that’s a lot. Do you have a large hen house to keep them all in?
Nonnie your post about the pigs in blankets made me laugh.
As it’s just me and DH for Christmas this year I am far more relaxed than usual. We will eat what we have and that will do.
Hope you have a good time whatever.
henetha I see you are another who has problems with her jaw due to tension. I have the same and I get tinnitus too. It gets worse the more stressed I am. Trying to relax can help ease things. Breathing exercises and trying not to concentrate on your worries helps too. I hope you feel more like your normal self soon. Keep posting here. You are not alone.
Chrissy how are you doing? You sound so sad. Do you know why you feel like crying so much? It’s not easy to put a smile on your face but I have read that it actually helps to do so. That smiling to yourself can make your mind feel better.
Scaredycat could you ask your family to video the children opening the presents so you can see them. Not the same I know but we have to take what we can. I have missed my walks since DH has been in hospital. I went shopping today for the first time in months, for some presents. I am not used to wearing a mask for so long, I came home physically and mentally exhausted and I only bought 5 small things.
Annie it sounds as though both the OT and physio visits were more positive. About time they told some notice, good to hear they will keep you on their books from now on. The chair and knee brace plus exercises all sound positive steps.
Fantastic news of MT. So pleased she didn’t have the virus and can visit you.
Take care all and sleep well.x

Evening everyone
henetha You shouldn’t feel guilty, we are all individuals with our own problems and we’re not less important than others. I hope you do look into the hypnotherapy, alternative therapies have helped lots of people. Unfortunately it didn’t work for me but I’m now having acupuncture and I really feel that it’s helping with my anxiety. I’m also on Amitriptyline, my dose has been raised a few times. Now I’m taking 200mg at night, the biggest bonus for me is that it helps me sleep, I suffered terrible insomnia for years before I was put on it.
Scaredycat Crying does help most of the time. The problem is that once I start I can’t stop.
Annie I’m so glad that the OT and the Physio are finally sorting things out for you, it’s about time. Your MT is visiting tomorrow, you must be so happy about that
Doodle I’m really not sure why I keep bursting into tears, the slightest little thing and I’m off. I’ll give the making myself smile a go. I’m sorry that you’re missing your walks, hope you get to go again soon. I hope that your DH is discharged soon although I suppose it will be a while before he’s up to walking again. I know how draining it can be trying to shop with the way things are and I find that I’m the one who keeps having to move away from people, most seem to be ignoring the 2 metre rule.
BlueSky lavender Joce nanny Nonnie refichagran hope you’re all doing ok.
Sleep well everyone x

Hi all x

How is everyone ?

My stress levels are rising, why oh why do I keep rolling news on, always have for company and to hear what’s going on in
the world. When I wake in the morning l put radio 4 on,
always have done so.

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little fairy with a great big Christmas tree. The fairy said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little fairy on top of the Christmas tree. ?

All Yes, we are all just coping with Christmas I think this year. I think scardycat sums it up well. We have put up the tree and a few outside lights but not bothered with anything else.

Henetha please don't 'feel guilty' there are always people worse off than ourselves but that doesn't stop us feeling how we do. Be kinder to yourself.

Annie so glad you are now getting proper help, sounds like a corner turned. Also happy to hear that MT is clear and visiting.

I am also a news junkie and have R4 on for the news and a few other things. I now also listen to R4 extra and enjoy some of the classic dramas and comedy. Things like the Navy Lark are so dated but I enjoy them anyway.
Doodlewell done with the shopping, I haven't had the courage to go further than the nearby pharmacy.

Chrissy good to hear the acupuncture is helping, it is good to try different things to find the one which suits you.

Today so far has been 'one of those days' but in the normal way. Laptop decided to refuse to play and I had an important thing to do. After a lengthy restart it worked slowly and I completed my task then went into the kitchen and DH had broken the coffee grinder which I use to grind up my seeds. As a result I have decided to give up on doing anything useful today and slob on the sofa with my knitting.

Hope you all find something to smile about this weekend.

annie that did make me laugh xx how is everyone doing today xxxx

There are some lovely people on this thread. Thank you so much all of you.
Doodle, I am sorry you too have touble with your jaw, you are the only person ,apart from myself, I've ever heard of who has had this. I will let you know if I find any help.
I will try to stop feeling guilty, thank you for all the kind comments. It's just that many people have suffered dreadfully due to the corona virus and my troubles are nothing when compared to theirs.
My son visited me this morning (he's in my bubble) and has reassured me about some of my worries so I do feel better.
Your Christmas story made me smile, Anniebach, and the fairy on top of my tree is glaring at me!
"Cheers" everyone, I am raising my glass of cranberry juice to you all.

Good afternoon all
Annie- so good to hear that things are happening to help you thanks to the new OT and physio.
Yes the news is a surefire way to get the stress levels soaring.Every morning I tell myself don’t listen,read or watch the news then proceed to do just that!! It seems relentlessly awful right now and I know that I feel much more stressed now than at the start of the Pandemic.
I hope you are having a lovely day with MT it must be so good to be with her again.
Just loved the Xmas Fairy story so did my DHxx
Nonnie-hope you are enjoying your slob day
Doodle- you are brave to go shopping but I can well imagine how worn out you must have felt afterwards. I really miss having a day in town with coffee and cake thrown in!
Do you ever walk on your own? I always do if DH is doing something else.
Chrissy,Nanny,Bluesky,Rafichagran,Lavender, Henetha and all take care and hope you have a peaceful nightxx

Annie I love your story of the Christmas fairy. Thank you for sharing ?
Nonnie I have my tree and some lights too but not as much as usual. I have spent most of the afternoon wrapping presents. The paper I have is quite sturdy but so strong the sellotape won’t hold it down and it keeps springing open.
Hope the knitting goes well.
Hi nanny I am ok. How are you?
henetha glad your son was able to provide some comfort to you. Hope things improve for you soon.
scaredycat no I seldom walk on my own as it is DH who is the keen walker. I have gone on my own a few times or which friends but usually with him.
Hope everyone had a good day. Sleep well

Glad the fairy story didn’t cause upset.

All who have Christmas trees, if you feel low, stressed , look at
tree and remember we are all thinking of each other and all here for each other x

Oh Annie that really got to me. What a lovely thing to say. Thank you. Yes we do all think of each other. x

Very late today
Annie I’m trying not to watch as much news, it’s so depressing. Brilliant tale about the fairy and the Christmas tree
Nonnie Sounds like you’ve had one of those days where everything goes wrong. Hope you enjoyed slabbing on the sofa.
henetha I’m so glad that your son visited and was able to take away some of your worries.
Doodle I’ve had the same problem with the wrapping paper and sellotape. I think it’s because the paper is quite shiny.
Annie Thank you for saying that about looking at the Christmas tree and knowing that we are all thinking of each other. I think that might happen a lot over the coming days.
Sleep well everyone x

henetha more of us than you think! My condyle was removed 47 years ago because of pain which couldn't be sorted by any other means. The other side became very painful when I was in such a stressed state I ended up in hospital. However, I am still here to tell you about it so there is hope for all.

I reiterate, your troubles are just as important as others, simply different, there is no competition for this.

Scardycat I often walk on my own, DH is limited because of his knee and I enjoy a good brick walk. Haven't done it enough recently.

Doodle I have the same problem with the tape not sticking but for a different reason. DS insists I use newspaper on his presents because he says printed gift wrap is bad for the environment so I have been saving the padding from the online shopping. Amazon 'gift wrap' definitely is non-stick Just organised the presents and some are already unlabelled.

I got very down yesterday afternoon after the announcement. I looked up various areas and saw how high the numbers are in areas where friends live, much higher than here. Lots of family messaging and then DS FaceTimed and chatted about many things which made me feel a lot better. Another doorstep chat with another neighbour, card from the new people I haven't yet met and DH brought me a brandy. I am very blessed.

Hi all x

Am concerned the new rules for the tiers are causing distress,
if so do share .

Wales is in lockdown, little difference for me, damn agoraphobia has kept me in lockdown for four years.

Mini Tornado was with me yesterday, thank heaven she drove up on Friday.

I'm so sorry for everyone in this new tier 4.
Nonnie, I am glad you are still here and I hope you are feeling better now with less pain.
Peaceful Sunday, everyone.

Hi everyone .
After yesterday afternoon I can honestly say I am now more scared than I have been since the pandemic began. We are now in Tier 4 and our numbers very high. Just listening to Boris spell it out yesterday made me feel totally terrified. Been out for a walk this afternoon but it was so difficult to not feel unsettled by every passer by.
I can deal with the restrictions and rules but it’s the threat of the virus to my family and us that I find so frightening. I know that everyone is feeling the same but Anxiety is magnifying everything so much.
I will just have to look at our tree and remember that you are all there - thanks Annie for that comforting thought.
Take care everyone and have a happy evening and peaceful sleepxxx

Hello everyone, I have just caught up with your posts.
Annie your story about the fairy, and looking at the Christmas Tree knowing we are there for each other made me feel all warm inside. I think it is lovely.
Doodle sorry you are in pain, I hope you get relief soon.
* Chrissie* do not be so hard on yourself, it's how you are feeling and it's a horrible place to be, I have had those times, it will get better but you must go with it and not criticise yourself.
Scaredycat I feel for you I too am in tier 4 and have cancelled my boxing day visit with my Grandson.
Nonnie I understand you are feeling down, it's so restricting at the moment, and these tiers are
having a impact on alot of people.
Henetha so glad your son visited you, he sounds sensible and talked things through with you.
Best wishes to Lavender if she is reading, Nannie I send my very best to you.
I have had a bad week, horrible headache, having to deal with something/somebody who is being passive aggresive and underhand. Work is also stressful, however I let my mind rest this afternoon, went to the supermarket and bought alot of good things for me and my partner food wise for Christmas day and boxing day. I bought plenty for those days but did not go overboard as I hate waste. Its good to get out if you can as it helps to relieve my bad anxiety and stress for a little while.
Take care everyone.