BLACK DOG 8

blusky hope all goes well today.
begentle good idea. Is it her first term at uni or has she been there a while.
chrissy hope you slept last night.
How is everyone doing today?

Hi all x

Posted last night, no post. Same at times when I send pm’s, damn iPad.

Thoughts with BlueSky

I realised I have a form of OCD, connected to time and doing things in strict order, gave it much thought, think the cause is
everything is so out of control in the outside world ?

Morning everyone, a quick message as I have to go out. I hope that everyone slept well and have a good day x

annie I am sure I have OCD. Not the really bad kind that makes people wash their hands umpteen times a day but obsession with making sure I’ve turned taps off, done things in a certain order. Checking and re checking things I know I have done but having to go back and check again.
I think your kind of order is probably a good one making sure you have done things so you don’t forget.
How are you today? I am having a wobbly bit at the moment.
Hope everyone has a good day. x

Doodle thank heaven I don’t have the hand washing problem, I don’t check things, mine is time and in order,

Every morning I do a word puzzle, will not do it until 8 others
have done it , also do a crossword and a Suduko before 10.00am, drink Ensure at set times, seems time and numbers rule me !

Having a bit of a wobble, don’t like this time of year , and can’t
do anything to start overcoming the Agoraphobia, my mini
tornado will graduate next Summer, I so want to be there but
know I can’t. I can’t go to Aberfan next week, hell bells can’t do
the garden path because of the arthritis.

Sorry you are having a wobble, hope it eases very soon x

Chrissey I suspect they tell us the wait will be longer than it actually turns out to be but at least you now know when to chase if you have to.

Welcome Begentle you won't find any bitchiness on this thread, just support. You can 'go on' as much as you like on here, we all do at times and at other times simply support each other.

BlueSky you have every right to complain, Just because some of us have different experiences doesn't mean yours is not just as important. When you say 'too late' does that mean you missed and will have to go back? I do hope not.

Doodle yes, all we can do is keep on keeping on for the sake of our loved ones. Hope your wobble improves.

Annie no idea if that means you have OCD or not but I do understand how we need to find something we can control. I definitely feel better now I am controlling my weight because there is nothing else I can control at the moment. I miss planning ahead.

Me? I slept until 0945 this morning! I don't think I have ever done that before. I woke a few times in the night which is usual for me so think I must have been catching up after this last difficult week.

DH and I sat in bed with our coffee putting the world to rights and ended up going over our history of what we had to go through to achieve our children. I think I have mostly put it in the back of my mind but when we talk about it I realise just how much I went through, how many years it took and how much heartbreak we lived through. I don't talk about it normally because I doubt anyone who was not around at the time would believe me and I don't like competing but I do know that it is why my family is so precious and how grateful I am that we are all still so close. Sorry rather emotional today.

Hi all x Back after the ultrasound as I said it’s an easy test, but even then I was thinking about people with mobility issues, arthritis etc, even getting on the table, taking up various position etc must be quite an effort. My main problem was not being able to have breakfast I’m always worried about feeling lightheaded when I have been fasting. Anyway back home to a very welcome cup of tea and biscuits.
Not to worry Nonnie I only dreamt about being late for my appointment I was actually early as always. Nonnie you and so many on here have lived through every parent’s nightmare, there are no words really.
Annie I must have OCD too, things got to be just so, don’t like any changes in routine etc. But I like having things that way so why not?
Have a peaceful afternoon everybody x

BlueSky it’s been done , ?

Yes getting on the table is difficult with arthritis, I had to be
lifted on , embarrassing.

nonnie hard as it has been you have a positive, you are a
‘We’, when my darling daughter died, I shared - your Mum,
your Wife, your Sister, how I longed to share our Daughter. x

That damn Red Cross advert again, ?

Do you think if all of us having wobbles, wobbled in the same direction at the same time we could make the world wobble with us ?

Doodle much of our wobbling is the result of the world
wobbling ? x

Annie life is certainly more sorrowful and difficult being on your own.
On Monday night when DH lapsed into unconsciousness and I wasn’t sure if he was alive or not, I had a few seconds insight into what you must go through. It passed quickly and I was too busy on 999 to think about it at the time but it has been on my mind much since then. I realise how lucky I am to have got him back.

Good point Annie I hadn’t thought of that ?

Doodle you just described the way I deal with things. I get up in the night sometimes to check my bank card is safe in my wallet because once I left it in Aldi!! Sorry you are having a bit of a wobble - no wonder considering how you started your week. Hope your DH is much better now.
Annie- yes so much is out of our control especially now - so order and routines help to make us feel secure..I think we all have a bit of OCD in us but for many people it is a devastating illness. Sorry you too are having a bit of a wobble.its a horrid time of year as the days get dark and cold and now everything is overshadowed by the wretched pandemic. It doesn,t help you too if they keep showing that advert so often. Maybe somebody could make a video of MT graduation for you next Summer.
Bluesky that was a bit of a frantic start to your day!! Just seen you are back now bet the tea and biscuits went down well.
Nonnie - what a great sleep you had you must have been exhausted. I had been awake 4 hours by then!! Not up just awake. It sounds like you had a really nice cosy and companiable start to your day. Hope the rest of your day was good.
Wishing all I have not mentioned a nice afternoon and evening. Lovex

It's lovely to read this thread and see how caring people can be. I'm tired of how nasty some people are out there.
I'm having a difficult time and it might help to share a bit here, if you all don't mind.
As I said previously my youngest is home from uni for a while as she has anxiety. My beloved cat is also ill, has been for about three months. He's 12, which isn't that old, but they can't find what's wrong with him. I suffer anxiety and struggle to leave the house a lot of the time and I hate driving so going to the vets has been difficult. Also my mum wants me to visit once a week and next week I have to take her to a hospital appointment which is an hour and a half drive away. I can't sleep much because I'm worrying about it. There's no one else to take her so I have to do it.
Money is a constant worry, as I can't work and claim benefits. Obviously going to the vets has eaten into this.

It's just all stressful and I want to run away really, not be contacted by anyone.
I can't face a telephone appointment with the doctor as I hate talking on the phone, I always forget something even if I write it down. And they'll only prescribe antidepressants which have awful side effects. I've a couple of health worries I want to talk to them about, but again not on the phone, and to be honest I think they'd suggest tests which I can't do.
It's just all a mess and I can't see a way out.

Sorry for the long post.

Afternoon everyone
Doodle You’re right, I just have to wait, nothing I can do about it. A pat on the back is much appreciated. I did sleep ok, mainly due to my nighttime meds. Sorry to hear you’re having a bit of a wobble. I’m sorry to hear that a family member is struggling, I hope that the issue resolves itself soon.
Begentle I’m sorry to hear that your daughter is having problems with anxiety. Hopefully they will accept that they need to talk to somebody.
Scaredycat I seem to have got off lightly after the fall. I went down so hard that I’m surprised that I didn’t harm my back.
BlueSky Thank goodness it was a dream and not a reality, isn’t it odd the way we dream about really weird things. It’s good that the ultrasound is over and done with. Bet that was the best cup of tea and biscuits ever.
Annie and Doodle I’ve had OCD so long that I actually forget I have it, the things I do are part of me. I repeatedly check things. I try a door handle to check it’s locked then walk away but most of the time I have to go back and check again. Ornaments have to be in exactly the right place and have to line up. I don’t have the problem with constantly washing my hands. OCD can be very tiring.
Annie sorry to hear that you’re also having a wobble. I hate this time of year. I keep thinking that we change the clocks next weekend and that depresses me. I’m so sorry that you won’t be able to go to your mini tornado’s graduation.
Nonnie Hopefully you’re right and the results won’t take as long as I fear. You had a bit of a lay in today, hopefully it did you some good. Maybe you needed the talk with your DH this morning, it sounds like you’ve been through some terrible times.
Take care everyone x

Begentle I’m sorry that you’re having a difficult time at the moment. I really hope that your daughter will change her mind about talking to someone. I’m so sorry to hear about your cat. I know how upsetting it is when pets are not well. They’re a big part of the family. My 18 year old cat who I’d had since she was 7 weeks old became unwell in March and unfortunately I lost her. It sounds like you’ve had a lot on your plate recently. Could you write down what you need to speak to the doctor about and post it through their door. I did this recently and it worked out well. You may not get a face to face appointment but at least the doctor will have all the facts in front of them so that gets around your worry about forgetting things. You could write what you’ve written here so that they know how bad you’re feeling. I hope that things improve for you soon, take care x

Thank you ChrissyR, that's a good idea. I thought they maybe wouldn't like that, but I've nothing to lose have I?

Sorry to hear you lost your cat. I've had mine since he was 13 weeks old, he's a siamese and very clingy, only with me. He's like a baby. It's an added stress though, as I don't get a second alone, he always wants to lie on me or be petted.

Bgentle Absolutely nothing to lose and should make things easier for you. Write down everything you’re concerned about, try not to leave anything out. I wonder if your daughter could do the same, something to think about.

begentle have you approached the rspca or pdsa for help with your pussy cat? Maybe they could help. My son has moved home and he has autism. (Mildly) and he has terrible anxiety and depression. I find the best thing is to just let him know I am here if he needs me xx

I think my son is the cause of my low mood...well not him but his messiness my house was spotless just how I liked it and now its a constant mess and I hate it and I struggle to cope

Begentle. You don’t like speaking on the telephone ? If you
put a letter to your doctor through the surgery door he may want to speak to you and telephone you. Perhaps write your
letter , make an appointment at the surgery and hand your
GP your letter.

May I ask ? You have been prescribed medication in the past
and had unpleasant side effects ? you can discuss this at the
appointment . You can’t avoid speaking to him/her if you want
help and advice.

Hope everyone has had a good day. Sleep well x

Good night all hope everyone has a peaceful night sleep ??

Thanks all. I've signed up to a pdsa scheme that gives me 20% off, but I have still paid around £1.000.

My gp doesn't offer face to face appointments, only over the phone. Last time I went I discussed it with my gp (last year) but he just said I had to try one again, I was in and out of the room in under five minutes